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********
The ship rumbled below them as it prepared for launch. Each of the
Corrs were mentally preparing themselves for the journey ahead.
Jim: (Thinking) I always wanted to go into space. I can't believe I
get to fly a ship!
Caro: (Thinking) A planet with the surface of green jello? I wonder
if it tastes any good...
Sharon: (Thinking) Why is it that we always get dragged into these
messes just to bail out Andrea's sorry bum? Why can't she just save herself?
10... 9... 8... 7...
Jim: Here we go!
Caro: Hehe. Oh wait, I forgot my toothbrush.
Jim and Sharon: Whaa??
Caro: Just kidding!!
3... 2... 1...
Silence.
Sharon: Em....?
Jim: Was something supposed to happen? Big boom? Eh? Oh wait, I forgot
to press this button...
Caro: Come on, what's going *SCRUNCH*
The skin on their faces was pulled back, their mouths pulled open into
smiling bare teeth as the ship blasted into the atmosphere. Sharon's face
was jiggling like jello, Jim's face was wobbling in all directions, and
Caro's face was scrunched up like she just ate something REALLY sour.
The Corrs soon were in space, and zero-gravity took over. They got out
of their seats, took off parts of their gear, floated around.
Caro: This is so much fun! Hehe!
Jim: Watch me! Watch me! (does a flip while zooming through the air)
Sharon was staring out the window.
Jim: Come on, Sharon. Stop being like Andrea, get away from the window.
We don't get to Googabooga planet for a whole month.
Sharon: I miss Earth already!
Caro: We have an ant farm, you know, if you miss the Earth that much.[
Sharon: Ant farm? Where?
The ship's computer suddenly started speaking. It was calm, smooth,
and annoyingly friendly.
Computer: Good morning, Corr family. I am a BOB 2000 computer. I was
made in the basement of a secret facility so secret that if we told you,
we'd have to kill you, on March 2nd, 2001.
Jim: Wow, who pressed the button.
Computer: There was no button pressed, Jim. I am capable of understanding
your language and emotions, and acted according to the mission log.
Jim: Huh. So, what are we supposed to do, Bob?
Caro: This reminds me of this really boring movie I once saw...
Sharon: Beef jerky! Floating everywhere!
Bob: Sharon has opened a food container containing 70 individual sticks
of beef jerky, floating randomly throughout the cabin. This item should
be more than enough to sustain a crew of 5 for several months. The sticks
themselves are 2 feet...
Jim: Yeah, yeah. Um, what's next on the mission log?
Bob whirred for a second.
Bob: The next mission objective is to go to Googabooga planet and dock
with its moon.
Jim: Sounds good... um, take us to Googabooga planet, Bob?
Bob: The course is already set, Jim.
Caro: Hey Bob, can we call you HAL?
Bob: You can call me anytime, baby.
Caro: Huh???
HAL: Sorry. My bad. I'm just playing.
The siblings cracked up in laughter.
Caro: Had me worried there! Hehehe.
HAL: Don't forget, I can see you in the shower.
Silence again. Sharon has half a piece of beef jerky sticking out of
her mouth.
HAL: Just playing again.
Caro: Hehehe stop doing that!
HAL: Would you like me to sing you a song?
Jim: Sure, go ahead.
HAL, in his computer-like tone, starts to sing. He's not very good.
HAL: The daylight's fading slowly, but time with you is standing still.
I'm waiting for YOU only. The slightest touch and I feel weak.
Sharon: Oh god...
The USS Magpie (coined by the Corr siblings) zooms through space, at
a speed that requires a lot of 0's.
Jim is floating along, writing in a book.
Jim: Captain's log, Day 3. The voyage has been un-eventful so far.
And my fearless crew is busily at work, getting ready for the mission ahead.
Sharon: Caroline?? Did you take my razor again? I need to shave my
legs!
Jim: And I have been doing all I can, making sure the ship is safe,
navigating us to our destination.
HAL: Another round of chess, Jim?
Jim: I only hope that Andrea is safe. I hope the aliens on Googabooga
haven't done anything to harm her. She may be a pain, but then, all of
my sisters are a pain, but then, they're family, so therefore I have to
worry. I could sure go for a real beer. All we have is water and soda and
milk and strawberry smoothies and expensive champagne and all the varieties
of Snapple Tea... but oh how I could go for a beer, not something like
the non-alcoholic kind that my sisters have taken a disgusting liking to.
I wish they'd lend a hand sometimes. It seems like I always have to fix
things around here.
Caro: Jim, did you break the bay number one door again? You know how
I hate to bolt that thing back in time after time!
Sharon: Caroline! Did you take my razor again?
Caro: YOUR razor? You stole that from Jim's stuff.
Sharon: I returned it, didn't I?
Caro: After we both used it, yes.
Jim hits his head on the ceiling.
Jim: I shaved this morning.... ohhhhhh!!! Gross!!! Please tell me you
didn't shave your legs with it!
Caro: No, don't worry. Just my armpits and bikini line.
Jim gets sick.
HAL: Jim is experiencing what is known as temporary nausea, or "throwing
up". His fit should last for relatively five to ten minutes, at most.
Jim: Captain's log, Day 4. (scribble scribble) Everything is splendid
now. Thanks to modern technology, I've foiled the evil plans of my sisters
once again. They'll never figure out that all my shaving stuff is taped
to the outboard rocket booster! Hahahaha! Sweet victory! Sure, it's a spacewalk
all the way to the far end of the ship just to get my morning shave, but
it's worth it.
Sharon has finally figured out how to use hot water to make an MRE
edible. Hats off to her! No more freeze-dried potato soup! Caroline got
stuck in her space suit... the helmet won't come off, the gloves won't
come off, the whole thing is locked on her and the poor girl has been stuck
inside the thing for almost a day now! Luckily, she can still breathe.
Except she can't shower, and can't eat except by slurping the food through
a really long straw. Besides that, we're all having a jolly old time.
We're been teaching HAL to sing some new songs. Now he knows the entire
Talk On Corners album and is halfway through Forgiven Not Forgotten. Who
knows? If we don't get Andrea back, we still have a fourth for our group.
No.. that sounds like a really bad idea... how could HAL fit into one of
Andrea's dresses?
Jim: Captain's log, Day 29, Jim Corr. Is that really my name?
We're almost to Googabooga planet. We're close enough to pick it up
on the screens. Let me tell you about an interesting planet. The surface
is made of green Jello, about 5 miles deep. No kidding! Bouncy, always-room-for-it
Jello. Some parts even have bits of pineapple in it. I've had many heated
discussions with my crew on whether or not it would be okay to eat the
surface of the planet. I, of course, think it's bad. Cazz wants to chow
down on the planet. Sharon thinks it's against Googabooga's customs and
well-being. So I think she's on my side. Still, I can see Cazz packing
spoons and other utensils into her gear bag. Oh well, when she eats the
planet's surface and possibly gets poisoned or explodes, she can't come
whining to me.
I can't wait for landing tomorrow. Then we get to use all the cool
combat gear we have. I can't wait to blast some ugly alien parts all over
the place with my de-atomiser. I can see it now! Bwahahahahahahahahahah!!!!
Ooops... getting ahead of myself. Hahaha! Death to the kidnappers of my
sister! HAHAHA!
Sharon: Jim, stop writing in your stupid log book and get yourself
packed!
Caro: Yeah, really! We're going to be at the planet soon and you're
just sitting there writing about killing the aliens!
Jim: Huh?? How did you know???
HAL: I used a sophisticated camera angle to show Caroline what your
were writing, Jim. It's all on the forward monitor.
Jim looked up and saw his hands and logbook on the forward monitor.
Jim: Hey!!!! That's not fair! This is private!!! (runs off into his
cabin)
Caro: What a little baby...
HAL: Sharon, I'm watching you. (monitors all show Sharon).
Sharon: Stop that, HAL!
(cameras zoom in)
HAL: I can see allllll of you.
Sharon: Arrrrgh!
HAL: We are now one mile from the planet's surface. I am slowing the
ship down now.
Jim, Sharon and Caroline were strapped down in their seats, their spacesuits
on. They were ready to explore the strange planet below.
HAL: Fifteen seconds to landing.
Sharon: Anyone want to say anything?
Jim: Anything.
Caro: Anything.
Sharon: I meant a prayer. Anybody want to say a prayer?
Jim: A prayer!
Caro: Hehehe.
Sharon: Oh, please. Fine, I'll start it. Dear lord, bless *squish*
HAL: Landing successful. We have safely landed on Googabooga.
Caro: All right! Jello planet!
Jim: That will have to wait, Cazz. We need to save Andrea first.
Caro: But there's so much Jello! There's always room for Jello!
Sharon: Oh please...
The Corrs un-buckle themselves and look out the windows. The landscape
is strange, and as said before, is made of green Jello. There is no sign
of intelligent life outside.
Sharon: Is there air to breathe?
HAL: I'm checking for that now, Sharon.
Jim: Everyone, get your things together. And don't forget your laser
guns!
Caro: I hope we don't have to use these. I'd hate to start an interplanetary
war that could cost the lives of millions of innocents.
Jim: Uh-huh. I wanna fry some aliens!!!
HAL: There is a small concentration of oxygen on this planet. Not enough
to support human life.
Sharon: How could Andrea still be alive?
Caro: Maybe they gave her oxygen from a tank or something.
Jim opens the airlock door, and steps inside. Caroline follows, along
with Sharon.
HAL: Good luck, Corr family.
The airlock door closes, and another door in front of them opens up.
Now that the door is open, the Corrs can see the whole entire landscape.
Like last time, it was made of green Jello. Little chunks of pineapple
and strawberries could be seen beneath the surface. There were also peaches
in some places. There were large palm trees made from what looked like
the same stuff that Gummi Bears were made from. They wobbled and swayed
in the breeze.
Jim: Well, here goes nothing. Tally ho!!!!
Jim jumps from the ship, carried a little by the planet's weaker gravity.
He drops to the ground with a squish, and gets buried up to his knees in
Jello.
A few seconds later, a long ramp drops from the ship's door.
Sharon: Jim, you dolt. You could've used the ramp.
Sharon and Caroline come down the ramp and pull Jim out of the ground.
Sharon: Where should we start looking?
Jim: There's a map here... on the wrist computer. It says we should
go East.
Caro: Who has a compass?
Jim: I don't think anyone has one. Well that's okay, we'll just follow
the sun.
Three different suns float in the sky.
Caro: Great....
Jim: Maybe there's another way to work this piece of junk...
Caro: Well while you do, I'm going to scoop up some of this Jello.
Caroline gets out a spoon and begins scooping Jello into glass jars
for later use.
A half hour later, the Corrs are speeding along on a planetary rover
vehicle, going at an amazingly fast 30 miles an hour.
Sharon: Are you sure they landed where the computer says they did?
Jim: I'm pretty sure. The ship looks exactly like the one that tried
to take us up. Plus, I can see some really small footprints leading away
from it.
Caroline: Andrea's feet?
Jim: Yep. Small sandles.
An hour later, Jim stops the rover behind a big rock.
Sharon: Is this it?
Jim: Yep. Says to stop at the secret alien military base.
Caro: How do you know this is it?
A gigantic sign with flashing lights and a pointing arrow on a nearby
Jello mountain says "Secret alien military base!!!!"
They jump out, and with laser guns ready, approach a really big gate.
Jim: It sounds like it's electrified. Here, I'll cut through it.
Jim gets out a pair of pliers and starts to cut away at the gate. Suddenly
it stops buzzing.
Jim: Haha! I must've cut their circuit!
Caroline taps Jim on the shoulder with the gate's power cord.
Jim: Or... we could've unplugged it. Yes, that would've worked.
Sharon opens the gate, and the three quietly enter, alert to anything
that might come their way.
Minutes later, they stop.
Caro: Awfully deserted for a secret alien military base, don't you
think? No cars, no planes, no soldiers running around.
Sharon: Maybe Andrea scared them all and they fled the planet in terror.
Jim: Tell me about it. Her thoughts on attempting suicide make ME want
to run away crying.
Sharon: You'd run away crying if I smacked you in the head.
They approach the ship, and check around it. Surely enough, they find
small sandle-shaped footprints in the Jello.
Caro: Hey... these are MY sandals! Andrea's always taking my things!
Sharon: Look! Over here!
Near what looked like a door on a building nearby lay an ice cream
cone. A puddle of sugary vanilla and other assorted flavors streaked along
the Jello ground.
Caro: They must've taken her in there.
Jim: Okay, stand back!
Jim charges up his laser gun and fires rapidly at the door. He creates
a very nice, smoking hole.
Sharon: Maybe we should try OPENING it first, Jim.
Sharon presses a switch on the wall, and the door slides down with
a clunk.
They enter the building, which suprisingly is made of metal inside.
The floors are clean and spotless. Above, Jello lanterns glow, casting
strangely-colored lighting on the walls.
Jim: Stay alert... we have no clue what to find here.
Caro: Googaboogans!
Jim: Where? Where??
Caro: No... I said we'll find Googaboogans. That's all.
Sharon: Trigger-happy...
The Corrs begin searching rooms, clearing systematically, and like
before, found nothing. There were no aliens anywhere. All that could be
found was weird alien furniture and Spree's all over the floor.
Sharon: Why is there Spree all over the floor?
Jim: I thought I saw a Spree tree out there.
Caro: Maybe they're allergic. *crush*
Jim: Well then there'd at least be dead bodies.Sharon: Maybe Andrea
ate them.
Jim: Ewwww, EAT the aliens?
Sharon: No, the Spree's. Well now that you mention it...
After more searching, they find a huge metal door with a weird dial
on the side. Sharon goes and fiddles with it. (No pun intended)
Sharon: Darn. I can't open this one. It's a whole different combination,
and it's not written on the wall like the other one.
Caro: Maybe we could crank it open with this power wrench we have.
Jim: Maybe we could just blow it down! I'm sorry, but I love to blow
things up today. Heck, we traveled a month for this, and I'm not going
to let these guns and bombs go to waste.
Sharon: Right, Jim. And what if Andrea's right behind that door? What
if it's just a real big walk-in closet?
Jim: Alright, fine, play with your little combo lock thingy. I'm gonna
go pick up some Spree's.
Caro: Too late, I already got a whole jar.
Sharon: Well I can't figure it out.
Caro: Okay then, power wrench it is.
Caro gets out the power wrench, a really big-looking monkey wrench
with a flat blade on it. She shoves the blade under the door, turns on
the wrench, and starts lifting.
Caro: Hrrggghh...
Jim: Lift with your knees.
Sharon: Breathe, just breathe!
Caro: Grrrrrr...
*CLANG*
The wrench breaks loose from Caro's hands, the flat blade broken in
half. It hits the ceiling behind them and lands on the ground.
Caro: Okay, it's dead. I guess we should just blow it open.
Jim: I have charges. I don't think the guns are going to do. Besides,
I wasted a lot of my power already.
Caro: Okay then, put them down.
Jim sets down a really big bomb at the door, and sets it to 30 seconds.
Jim: Okay, let's go!
They run back from the door and hide inside a room.
Jim: Ten seconds left, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three,
two, one...
Caro: Happy new year!!!!! *KABOOOM*
They go back out in the hall to find... a really burnt door.
Jim: It didn't work! Darn!
Just then, the door started to rumble, and it slowly slid upward.
Jim: Everyone on guard!
They all aim their guns at the door in defense, ready for a threat.
Then, out of the darkness...
Andrea: What the hell was that?
Jim: Andrea! Andrea! Whoops, my helmet...
Sharon: Andrea! *she turns on the right setting*
Andrea: Hey! You're all here!!! How'd you get here? I thought I'd never
see you guys again!
Jim: Well it's a really long story, we got kidnapped by NASA...
Sharon: Jim, you're still not working your helmet right. She can't
hear you.
Caro: Little sister!!
Andrea: Older sister!
They run into each other's arms, screaming and jumping up and down.
Sharon: Oh thanks, we feel so loved.
Andrea: Oh, I'm sorry! I'm really glad to see all of you.
Jim: What happened to all the aliens?
Andrea: You know, it's weird, I woke up one morning and they were all
gone!
Sharon: Just like that?
Jim: Hmm, it's interesting. But we better get back to the ship. We
might still be in danger.
Andrea: Well, I don't know if I wanna leave.
Sharon: What?
Andrea: I like it here! Nice planet, all the sweets you can eat, no
taxes, far away from the Earth.
Jim: But Andrea, the Earth needs you! We need you for our group.
Andrea: Oh, you all can do fine without ME in the group.
Caro: Andrea, he's going to dress up a computer and have him sing.
You HAVE to come back. Besides, who's going to forget all her stuff when
we tour, and everywhere else?
Sharon: Millions of fans'll miss you.
Jim: And besides, doesn't it get boring here? Sure, the landscapes
are made with Jello, but it has to get boring at some time or another.
Andrea: It does! It really does get boring... well okay, I'll come
back with you. I need to get my pills.
Sharon: Pills?
Andrea: Oxygen pills. It's how they kept me alive this whole time.
Jim: (like Mr. Spock) Fascinating.
Soon they're driving across the landscape again, and it's raining outside.
Andrea: That's sugary, colored water. It's what puts the Jello back
into the ground.
Sharon: Really? Wow. You should write a book about all this, you'd
sell millions.
Andrea: Hehehe, everyone would think I'm a nut.
Caro: Dear, everyone already DOES think you're a nut.
They get back to the ship, drive inside, and blast off from the planet
Googabooga.
Jim: Set course for home, HAL.
HAL: Affirmative, Jim.
Jim joins his sisters at the dinner table.
Sharon: So seriously, what happened to the aliens?
Andrea: Well they were nice, hospitable. A little bit annoying and
always poking me but other than that they were fine. I tried to get along
with them, told them knock-knock jokes, threw Spree's at them, sang for
them, told them my life's story. Then one day I find myself all alone in
that base.
Caro: So they DID run away. That was one of our theories. I thought
they ate you, though.
Andrea: Har har, funny.
Jim: But they weren't harmful to you?
Andrea: No, they were pretty nice. Just a little pushy. They wanted
me to get into this big machine that had this thing that looked like it
had a p**is and I just kept unplugging it and dancing around.
The other 3 Corrs get sick looks on their faces.
Andrea: And then when I got my period, I used a piece of Jello to...
Jim: OK that's enough for me. I'm off to my cabin. (runs away)
Caro: Um, Andrea, please tell me you threw those ones away. I picked
up some red Jello out there...
Andrea: No, no! I threw them away, don't worry. Jello melts in the
heat anyway. It kept running down my leg.
Jim: Captain's log, Day 60. We'll be arriving back at Earth in a matter
of hours. It's good to see that our ship and my crew have held up so well
the past few weeks. It'll be sad to have to leave it all; I'll miss flying
in space, exploring unknown planets. But I too miss Earth, and if I have
to spend any more time in this ship with my sisters I'm going to go mad.
A few hours later...
HAL: 50 feet, 40, 30, 20, 10, 5, 2 and a half, 1 foot, three-eighths,
1 inch... we have landed on Earth.
Andrea: Thank goodness...
Sharon: Earth! We're finally back.
Caroline: I really need to use the restroom...
Jim: Huh? Oh yeah. Cool.
The Corrs exit the ship on a big ramp, and are swarmed by NASA scientists
and government agents.
Agent "Bob": Good work on the mission, Jim. You all did a fine job
up there with the rescue. Andrea is still as sexy as ever.
Andrea: Hey! (tenses up and makes fists)
Jim: It was a pleasure. Space was great.
Caro: Can we fly more missions? I wanna visit Jupiter or something.
Agent "Bob": I'm sorry, we can't let you do that. Government rules,
you know.
Caro: Awww...
Jim: Well hey, we ARE the first rock group in space. I'm happy.
Sharon: Cool!
Agent "Bob" and everyone put on sunglasses. He takes out a "flashy
thingy".
Jim: Oh come on, we know those don't work. *FLASH*
Suddenly the Corrs are standing back on the sidewalk in Ireland, in
front of the ice cream shop.
Sharon: Huh? Hmm. Any of you feel weird?
Caro: Kinda. But you LOOK weird.
Andrea: How'd it get rainy all of a sudden? I feel like I'm missing
time.
Jim: Hey yeah, how come my watch is two months ahead all of a sudden?
Funny...
Andrea: Who wants ice cream? I'll pay for it!
Sharon: Yeah, okay.
Caro: All right!
Jim: Sure, I could go for some chocolate.
They all walk away.
Meanwhile, on Googabooga...
An alien looks up from behind a rock.
Alien: I think the Earth woman died!
Alien 2: Great! Now we can move back to our base.
Alien: Why do you think it kept throwing rocks at us and laughing?
(referring to the Spree's).
Alien 2: I don't know. Let's not abduct any more humans. They are so
WEIRD!
Alien: I know! With their brown skin and five fingers and that stuff
that grows on their heads that blows in the wind...
Alien 2: And those breast things? Yuck...
The End.