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“Where are you again?” Andrea asked, munching on a Tim Tam. “The connection’s
not too good.”
“In Spain,” Caroline said.
“In a crane?”
“SPAIN!!!!!”
“Alright, alright, you don’t have to scream it through the phone! I’m
not deaf you know,” Andrea replied. “So you’re serious about this whole
‘let’s get married in Spain’ thing, huh?”
Caroline was beginning to really worry about her sister. “What did
I say to you before I left Dublin airport with Frank?”
“Not to finish all your food?”
“The other thing.”
“To remember the time difference between Spain and Ireland?”
“No.”
“To tell Sharon…”
“That we were going to Spain to look at Deia because we wanted to get
married there!” Caroline cried in frustration.
“You wanted me to tell Sharon that?”
“No…ugh, never mind.”
“Okay,” Andrea replied, chewing thoughtfully. “Hey, I just thought
of something funny. If you and Frank get married in Spain, all the press
will be in Spanish. ‘Hola, Caroline and Frank Woods.’”
“About that…”
Andrea paused mid-chew. “What?”
“Well, a wedding is very private and special and…we’re not going to
release the date or place to the media.”
”Oh. Do I still get to be a bridesmaid?”
Caroline rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone. “Yes, Andrea.”
She listened to the chewing for a moment. “Andrea, how many packets of
my Tim Tams have you been through?”
Andrea looked over to the rubbish bin and looked guilty. “One.”
“Andrea.”
“Okay, two! But I swear that was it!”
Caroline sighed. “Okay. But just make sure there is food when I come
home!”
******************************************************************
Frank put the bags down beside Caroline after he had finished collecting
them at the carousel.
“Wasn’t your crazy sister supposed to be picking us up?” he said.
“Which one?” Caroline asked, digging around her bag for her mobile
phone.
“The one that’s eating us out of house and home.”
Frank fished his mobile from his pocket and handed it to her. “Here.
It’s too painful to watch you searching everywhere for that thing.”
Caroline frowned. “I haven’t lost it! It’s just in my bag somewhere.”
Frank smirked. “Hence, it’s lost.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Caroline replied, dialling
Andrea’s number.
All of a sudden, they heard Andrea’s phone ringing and they glanced
at each other. A few seconds later, a sheepish looking Andrea emerged from
the nearby clothing store.
“I just saw this top and…”
Caroline put up her hand. “Enough said.”
“Oh by the way, it’s raining,” Andrea told them.
“How’s everyone been?” Frank asked.
“Daddy’s fine. Jim has a new girlfriend. Gavin’s working on a big case
and Sharon is going through an interior decorating phase.”
Caroline’s eyes widened. “You haven’t let her loose in our house, have
you?”
Andrea shook her head. “No, she’s still going through hers. I think
Gavin’s going to move out soon. She’s driving everyone crazy with swatches
of fabric and interior design magazines.”
Frank glanced at his wife. “It doesn’t run in the family, does it?”
*********************************************************************
Gavin unlocked the door to his house and almost stepped into a tin
of paint. His eyes widened as he saw that his hall was slowly being transformed
into a rainbow of colours. “Uh, Sharon? Honey?”
Sharon’s head popped out from the living room. “Hi. Don’t step in any
of the paint.” She disappeared again.
Gavin gingerly stepped over all the paint and headed into the living
room, fearing the worst. Luckily, there was no paint in here, but the walls
were covered in paint sample cards and different swatches of fabric covered
the chairs.
“Hi,” Sharon smiled, kissing him. “Good day at work?”
Gavin nodded. “You had a good day?”
Sharon nodded back. “Very good. I’ll need your opinion on the hallway
though. There are some colours I’m not too sure about.”
“Didn’t Frank and Caroline get home today?”
“Mhm. Andrea was picking them up from the airport.”
“I didn’t know she had her license.”
“She doesn’t.”
“I didn’t hear that,” Gavin replied. He went to sit on one of the chairs.
“Wait!” Sharon said. “Don’t sit down! There’s some fabric there!”
******************************************************************
2
“Home sweet home,” Caroline smiled, as she opened the door to their
house. “Glad it’s still in one piece, Andrea.”
“And that’s the thanks I get? For checking on your house?”
“Thanks for checking on the house, Andrea,” Frank said, kissing her
on the cheek. “We appreciate it. Right Caroline?”
“Mhm,” Caroline replied. “Is Fergus still alive?”
Andrea raised an eyebrow. “Fergus?”
“Her cactus.” Frank rolled his eyes. “She’s started naming things.
I have no idea why.”
Caroline walked back out to the room. “He’s alive.”
“She needs a pet,” Andrea said to Frank. “Anyway, I’ll leave you two
spring chickens be. Giles is expecting me.”
“Thanks, Andy,” Caroline said hugging her sister.
Andrea nodded. “You’re welcome. Bye guys.”
After she left, Frank switched on the answering machine.
“Hi, you’ve reached Caroline and Frank. We’re not in right now, so
please leave a message and we’ll get back to you. BEEP. Hey guys, it’s
Jim. I know, I know, you’re not at home and Andrea is probably eating your
food, but I just wanted to let you know that we’ve got to organise an engagement
party. And Frank, about your bachelor party…”
Frank erased the message and Caroline sent him a look.
“Do I want to know what Jim was going to talk to you about?”
“Nothing, nothing at all.” Frank started the machine again.
“BEEP. Hi, it’s Gavin. Look, I know you’re not in, but I need your
help. Caroline, your sister is driving me insane with fabric and paint
and furniture and Frank, I need you to come to a pub with me.”
“Sounds desperate,” Frank said.
“We’re not doing anything about it tonight,” Caroline replied. “This
is the first night in our house we’ve had for a while, and I intend on
making good use of it.”
“Really?”
“Yep. I’m going to my bubble bath.” Caroline winked at him and went
upstairs.
*********************************************************************
2
Andrea unlocked the door to her house and winced. Strains of Charlotte
Church were coming from her stereo. “Uh, Giles?”
The music stopped and he poked his head out from the living room. “Hey,
Andrea. Sorry about that. I just had to run through some stuff.”
“That’s okay,” Andrea replied, putting her keys down and taking her
coat off. “Trouble?”
Giles shrugged and kissed her. “Not really. Just a new album. How are
Caroline and Frank?”
“Fine,” Andrea smiled. “I think they had a good time. Hey, did you
know that Caroline named her cactus?”
Giles raised an eyebrow. “Should I?”
“No. It was just weird that’s all. Fergus is its name. I think she
needs a pet.”
“Gavin rang while you were out. He says Sharon is going through some
emotional breakdown over the different shades of white.”
“I swear I’m the only normal one in this family,” Andrea sighed, sitting
down.
“What about Jim?”
“Jim! Normal! Hah!”
********************************************************************
“Don’t ask me to explain the working of my sister’s mind,” Jim said
to Gavin, as they sat in the pub together. He took a sip of his drink.
“I’ve always maintained that my sisters are crazy. In fact, I think I warned
you about that when you first started dating Sharon. Now look what you
got yourself into.”
“It’s not that I mind her wanting to redecorate but…she went crazy
about the different shades of white. Did you know that there are over fifteen
different shades of white?”
Jim looked at him oddly. “Where did you hear that?”
Gavin sighed and sipped his drink. “Sharon.”
*********************************************************************
Frank grabbed his keys and checked in the bedroom, where his soon to
be wife was lying with a cool cloth on her forehead. “Are you sure you’re
okay for me to leave you?”
She nodded. “Mhm. I just feel a bit sick in the stomach. I’m a big
girl.” She paused for a moment. “Could you just feed Fergus before you
go?”
Frank raised an eyebrow. “Fergus eats?”
Caroline glared at him. “Yes, Fergus eats. It’s his day for fertiliser.
There’s a little packet of it next to his pot in the living room.”
Frank made a noise of surprise. “Wow. Who knew. The cactus eats.”
“It’s Fergus!” Caroline told him, as he left the room.
*****************************************************************
“Okay, um, woah,” Andrea said, as she walked in the front door to Sharon’s.
“Welcome to my world,” Gavin said, kissing her on the cheek as he went
off to work. “Bye Sharon!”
“Bye!” Sharon called. Her head looked out and saw Andrea. “Hey Andy.
I thought I heard you. Want to come in here for a minute?”
Andrea looked slightly cautious. “Is it safe?”
Sharon chuckled. “Of course it’s safe!” She watched Andrea walk down
the hallway. “Watch out for that pot!”
Andrea groaned and entered the living room. “Alright, whatever you’re
going to make me do, hurry up. We’re supposed to be going to Caroline’s
remember?”
“Yes, I remember. This colour or this colour?”
Andrea wrinkled her nose. “They’re both white.”
Sharon rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. This one’s “Angel’s Kiss”
and this one is “Buff”. They’re more than a shade apart!”
Andrea stared at her sister with a worried look on her face. “Can we
please go to Caroline’s?” she asked in a small voice.
****************************************************************
“Jim organised the engagement party for next week?” Caroline asked,
looking in the fridge.
“Yeah, he wanted to surprise you,” Sharon replied. She frowned. “What
are you looking for?”
“I’m checking how many packets of Tim Tams Andrea ate.”
“Only half a one!”
“Andrea,” Caroline said.
“Fine, two. Geez, you’re such a Tim Tam Nazi,” Andrea said, rolling
her eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes,” Caroline told her, without turning around.
Andrea’s eyes widened. “Wow, say hello to Caroline, Starwoman. Who
needs Athena?”
Sharon wrinkled her nose. “You’ve got to stop reading those things.”
“This coming from an obsessive decorator.”
Caroline walked over to the calendar. “Uh oh.”
“What?” Andrea asked, sneaking a look in the fridge.
“Frank’s not going to be here next week.”
Sharon raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure of the protocol, but I’d say
that you need both of the couple to have an engagement party.”
Andrea looked confused. “What do you mean you’re not sure of the protocol?
You had an engagement party.”
Sharon smiled slightly. “I’m surprised you remember. You were slightly
inebriated.”
Andrea poked her tongue out.
“Besides, I actually had the groom at my engagement party.” Sharon
folded her arms. “Can you change Frank’s trip?”
Caroline shook her head. “This could be awkward.”
********************************************************************
Frank put a hand up. “Okay, let me get this again. We’re having an
engagement party. Jim organised it for us. But I’m not going to be there?”
“Yes, Yes and No.”
“Something strikes me as wrong about that scenario.”
“I know, but apparently Jim has sent out all the invitations already.”
“This is one time that I think Jim should have remained his normal
self and not been efficient.”
“There’s no way you can get out of going on this trip?”
Frank shook his head. “I wish there was.”
Caroline folded her arms and frowned. “I hate this.”
Frank put his arms around her. “Here’s what we’ll do. I will go overseas.
You go to the engagement party and make sure there are lots of pictures.”
Caroline turned around in his arms. “What? You want me to go to the
engagement party without you?”
Frank smiled. “No. But we don’t really have a choice. Besides, what’s
an engagement party? People congratulating us, which they’ll do at our
wedding reception, giving us presents, which they’ll do at our wedding
reception, watching family members try to get on, which they’ll do at our
wedding reception and people getting drunk, which they’ll definitely do
at the wedding reception. It’s almost a test run for the real thing.”
Caroline watched him carefully. “You will be there for the real thing
won’t you?”
Frank pretended to mull over the thought and Caroline elbowed him.
“OW!!!!!! I was just joking,” he protested, half out of breath.
************************************************************
Andrea sat straight up in her bed. She had been having a nightmare…and
included in that nightmare was Charlotte Church singing. She whacked herself
on the head. No, the singing was still there. She looked next to her and
noticed Giles was gone. Andrea let out a cry of pain.
“Andrea? Andrea? Are you alright?” Giles asked, racing into the room.
“That woman!” Andrea said, pointing out towards the lounge room, “is
now giving me nightmares!”
Giles raised an eyebrow. “Charlotte Church is giving you nightmares?”
Andrea glared at him.
“Right, turning it off.”
*********************************************************************
Gavin rolled over to hug his wife and noticed she wasn’t there. He
began to toy with the idea of going to find her, and figured that no matter
how scary she had become lately…he was her husband.
Downstairs he trudged to the loungeroom, where Sharon was looking at
different pieces of fabric…in the dark.
“Sharon? Honey? What are you doing?”
Sharon turned around. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Gavin shook his head. “No. What are you doing?”
“I thought it would be a good idea if I saw what they looked like at
nighttime.”
Gavin scratched his head. “Why would we be looking down here at night?”
“What if we were making out down here and the wall was the wrong colour?”
Gavin was seriously starting to worry about his wife’s sanity. “If
we were worrying about the colour of the wall, I think there would be a
problem.”
“Exactly,” Sharon nodded. “We’d have to get it painted again.”
*******************************************************************
3
Jim opened the front door to his house and Gavin rushed in, slamming
the door shut behind him.
Jim raised an eyebrow. “Uh, goodmorning. Mind if I get my paper?”
“Your sister has lost her mind.”
“Which one?” Jim asked, getting his paper.
“Which one? The manic, obsessive, there are like fifty different shade
of white sister! Sharon of course!”
“What did she do?”
“It’s not so much what she did as what she said.”
“Okay then, what did she say?”
“She said that if we were making out in the loungeroom and she noticed
that the wall was the wrong colour that she’d have to get it painted again.”
”Did you slip something into her coffee?”
“No!”
“Cause I’d understand if you did…”
Gavin put his hand up. “I didn’t put anything in her coffee. She’s
losing her mind.”
Jim sipped his morning tea thoughtfully. “Get her a pet.”
“Huh?”
“A pet. Like a fish, or a bird, or a dog or cat. It’ll give her something
to do.”
“You think so?”
Jim grinned and patted him on the shoulder. “Trust me.”
That was Gavin’s first mistake.
**************************************************************
“Caro…I’m going to miss the plane,” Frank replied, kissing her again.
“That’s the idea.”
“Caroline…”
She sighed. “Fine. I get it. I’m no longer desirable when there’s a
property on offer.”
Frank raised an eyebrow and she grinned.
“Well if that didn’t make you feel guilty about leaving me…maybe this
will. You’re going to miss our engagement party.”
Frank took her hand and stroked the ring. “I think we had our little
party, didn’t we?”
Caroline smirked. “Mhm. I’ll still miss you.”
Frank kissed her. “I’ll miss you too. Make sure the papers aren’t around
when you take Andy home at the end of the party.”
Caroline chuckled. “That was payback for her comment that your chin
was almost like that of Ridge’s in the Bold and the Beautiful wasn’t it?”
Frank pouted. “Do you think my chin is like Ridge’s?”
Caroline tickled it. “It’s perfect.” She hugged him. “Now get out of
here before I drag you kicking and screaming to the car.”
Frank rolled his eyes. “I’d like to see you try.”
“We’ll do it when you get home.”
***************************************************************
Andrea turned off the TV after seeing another news report on the Gallagher
brothers. “Those two are barely getting their heads wet. We could drink
them under the table.”
“Pay-per-view. The Corrs versus the Gallagher brothers in a drinking
contest. I’d pay to see that,” Giles said, handing her a glass of wine.
“What date is this engagement party for Caroline and Frank?”
“Saturday.” Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?”
“Didn’t already make arrangements for something that night? Because
half of the couple we are celebrating isn’t going to be there and I want
to make sure that YOU’RE there!”
Giles smiled. “Trust me, I’ll be there. Just checking I had the date
right.”
“Give a girl a heart attack why don’t you!” Andrea told him, chucking
a pillow at him.
He grinned and began to tickle her.
“Hey…now…that’s mean…and unfair…I’m tiny…you’re a giant….HEY!”
***************************************************************
5
It was the evening of the engagement party. Everything had kicked off
well, and Andrea and Sharon sat at a table, sipping champagne.
“What happened to Caroline?” Jim asked, coming over.
Andrea rolled her eyes and indicated over to a corner where Caroline
was talking on her phone. “One guess as to who that is.”
“Why isn’t anyone dancing!” Jim cried.
“Because they’re drinking first,” Sharon smiled. “This is a great drop,
by the way.”
Jim glanced at her.
“Oh alright, alright. I’ll go find Gavin and we’ll dance. Happy?”
“Extremely,” Jim replied. He stared at Andrea.
“I’ll go and get Caroline off the phone,” she smiled. “And drink.”
“I’ll get Caroline off the phone,” Jim told her. “Go find Giles. Set
an example. We’re Irish for goodness sakes!”
“That’s why we’re drinking,” Andrea said, rolling her eyes and disappearing.
Jim walked over to where Caroline was smiling and giggling into the
phone. He stood before her, folding his arms.
After another giggle and a blush, Caroline noticed her brother. “Uh,
hang on a minute, Frank.” She looked up at her brother. “What?”
“You are here to drink.”
Caroline gestured to her half-empty wineglass.
“And mingle and be congratulated and dance. Now, off the phone and
call him later.” Jim tapped his foot. “Don’t make me take that phone from
you.”
Caroline rolled her eyes and said goodbye to her fiance. “Who do you
want me to dance with?”
“Me!” Jim said, holding his arms out.
Caroline narrowed her eyes. “Do you promise not to step on my toes?
Because you have really big feet.”
Jim frowned. “That’s mean.”
“I’m only 5’4! I have to protect myself.” She smiled sweetly and held
out a hand. “Now come and take your ickle sister for a spin around the
dance floor.”
*********************************************************************
“Well, everyone is certainly having a good time,” Sharon said, pointing
to Andrea who was doing a particularly energetic set of YMCA with Caroline.
Jim wrinkled his nose. “That is an image that will stick with me for
years.” He filled her glass up again. “So, Gavin tells me you’re in an
interior decorating way.”
“So that’s where he disappeared to this morning,” Sharon said. “He
ran out of the house for some reason.”
“Perhaps it had something to do with fifty shades of white,” Jim said
mysteriously, waving to Darrel Downey.
********************************************************************
Tony Fenton smiled at Andrea and Caroline as they sat down for a break.
“Congratulations, Caroline,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll
have to congratulate Frank next time I see him. Where is he, anyway?”
“Working in Cannes,” Caroline replied.
Tony nodded. “And happy 28th birthday Miss Andrea,” he grinned, kissing
her on the cheek.
“Thanks,” Andrea smiled.
Gavin appeared besides them, holding a bottle of Dom Perignon. “Caro,
did you want to open this?”
Caroline looked at the bottle fondly. Andrea rolled her eyes.
“Oh for heaven’s sakes, crack it open!” Andrea cried.
“Bye Albert,” Caroline said, waving as Gavin took the bottle away.
Andrea narrowed her eyes. “Uh, Caroline? Um…why did you call the bottle
of champagne Frank sent to the party Albert?”
“You don’t like the name Albert?”
Andrea looked at her sister oddly. “Uh, I guess it’s okay. Now mind
telling me what your problem is?”
“What problem?”
“You’ve got a cactus that you named…”
“Fergus,” Caroline interrupted.
“And now you just named a bottle of champagne, an INANIMATE object
I might add, Albert! And you’re telling me you don’t have a problem?”
Caroline raised an eyebrow. “I’m going to go find Sharon.”
“Oh that’s smart,” Andrea agreed. “The insane leading the insane.”
Caroline poked her tongue out at her little sister. “Do you WANT me
to put a Charlotte Church cd on?”
“That’s mean,” Andrea told her, folding her arms.
Andrea watched, interested, as Caroline began to walk very carefully.
She got up and followed her sister. “What’s the matter?”
“I danced with Jim.”
Andrea sighed. “Caroline, how many times have we been told that dancing
with Jim is not safe for us?”
“Well, he was determined that I dance.”
Andrea groaned. “Well, you’re just going to have to think about what
you’ve done. Honestly, Caroline, naming inanimate objects and dancing with
Jim. Am I the only sane one in this family?”
Caroline raised an eyebrow. “You? Sane? Hah!”
Sharon walked over, carrying a couple of glasses. “Let’s do what the
Irish do best, shall we?”
************************************************************************
Andrea rolled over in her bed the next morning and groaned. “I think
I’m dying.”
She watched as a glass of water containing two aspirin was placed on
her bedside table.
“You’re not dying, you just have a hangover,” Giles smiled. “Caroline
and Sharon are probably just as bad.”
************************************************************************
Gavin opened the blinds in the bedroom and heard a hiss come from the
bed. It was his wife.
“Ugh. Sunlight! Make it go away!” Sharon told him.
Gavin held a cup of coffee under her nose. “Here we go. Knowing you,
this will make you feel better.”
Sharon squinted at the coffee and took a sip. “Still don’t like the
sunlight though,” she muttered.
*********************************************************************
Caroline was woken up by the shrill sound of her phone ringing. Her
hand slammed around the bedside table, trying to find the phone.
“Hello?” she murmured.
“Morning sunshine,” came Frank’s cheerful voice.
She groaned. “Have. You. Any. Idea. What. Time. It. Is?”
Frank chuckled slightly. “Had a good night last night, did we?”
“Did you ring me purely just to torture me?”
“No, even though that can be fun sometimes. I rang because I miss you,
love you, and wanted to know if you got the champagne.”
“We did. And I miss you too. And I love you. And why can’t you be here
to get me some aspirin!”
******************************************************************
6
The next evening Sharon walked into the house. She had been out getting
a few things to make dinner with and she put her coat on the hook. “Gavin?
I’m home!”
“Bugger off!” came a shrill voice, followed by a loud “Shh!”
Sharon frowned. “Robert Gavin Bonnar, you better explain that voice
or there’s going to be trouble!”
Gavin poked his head out of the kitchen and gave her a sheepish look.
“Good one honey. I’ve got a surprise for you in here.”
Sharon narrowed her eyes. “Is it female?”
Gavin went back into the kitchen and after a few moments, poked his
head back around the door again. “I can’t be certain.”
Sharon almost fell over in fright and quickly walked into the kitchen.
There was a huge cage, and inside it, an equally huge bird. “What on earth
is that?”
“Sharon, darling, meet Sailor, the cockatoo. Sailor, this is Sharon.”
Sailor let out a wolf-whistle. “Sharon darling!” he squawked.
Sharon took a step back from the cage. “Uh, Gavin, why is there a cockatoo
in here?”
“Well, I bought him for you!” Gavin smiled. “Sometimes I have to be
out late and I don’t like the thought of you being alone in the house.”
“That’s very sweet, but I can’t see a cockatoo warding off burglars.”
Gavin chuckled. “Of course not. Although.” He turned to the bird. “Sailor,
burglar.”
“Get out of here you varmints! Stop! Freeze! Police! You crazy b****ds!”
Sharon raised an eyebrow. “Gavin, where did you find this bird?”
“A friend of mine.”
Sharon folded her arms. “A criminal friend?”
“I don’t have criminal friends,” Gavin smiled uneasily.
Sharon looked at the bird intently. “I’m watching you.”
*************************************************
Jim chewed his cracker thoughtfully. “So…he’s a weird bird.”
Andrea craned her head at the cage. “He doesn’t look weird to me.”
“Yeah, what’s the problem, Sharon? He’s just a cockatoo,” Caroline
replied. She frowned. “Apart from the fact that he wolf-whistles.”
“It watches me,” Sharon said, putting her hand on her hips.
“So what else does it say? Apart from the burglar thing and darling
Sharon?” Andrea asked.
Sharon groaned. “Whatever you do, don’t say the words Sharon and G-A-V-I-N
together.”
Jim smirked. “Why can’t we say Sharon and Gavin?”
The bird squawked. “Bump bump bump! Bounce bounce bounce! SQUAWK!!!
Meow!”
Sharon turned a bright red as her brother and sisters fell about laughing.
“Who did this bird belong to before you?” Caroline asked, through her
laughter.
Sharon folded her arms. “A sailor with a sick mind.”
“What else does he do?” Jim asked, intrigued.
“He’s aggressive, rude and he…”
“OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!” came Jim’s cry.
“Bites,” Sharon finished. “Hard.”
“I’m never going to be able to play again!” Jim cried, as Sharon got
some ice from the freezer.
“Oh don’t be a baby,” Sharon told him, slapping the ice on his finger.
“Have you had a tetanus shot lately Jim?” Andrea asked dubiously.
“So, what’s going to happen to poor old Sailor?” Caroline grinned.
“He’s going away. Far away,” Sharon replied. “Tonight!”
*********************************************************************
A few days later Caroline and Andrea walked into Caroline’s house and
Andrea wrinkled her nose, as the strains of Runaway came through the stereo.
“What kind of sicko listens to their own music?”
There was a pause and the music changed to Ronan Keating’s “When You
Say Nothing At All”.
“Caro…I think there’s someone in your house,” Andrea said, her eyes
widening.
Caroline put her keys down on the side table and took off her coat.
Andrea hid behind her sister as they walked into the dining room.
“Wow,” Andrea said, looking at the candlelit table. “I like your burglar.”
Frank walked out of the kitchen and smiled. “Hey, I didn’t know you’d
be home so soon.”
Caroline walked over to him. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to
you? When I came to Cannes and the Grand Prix I thought it would be another
week.”
“Yeah, and you couldn’t remember that I was your fiancé,” he
pouted. “On national television too!”
Andrea gagged in the background as the couple kissed. “And on that
note, I’m outta here.”
“There’s plenty of food if you want to stay,” Frank replied, watching
as Caroline went into the kitchen to investigate.
“Please, I watched you two make out enough when Caro and I were living
together. I don’t need to watch reruns of “The Grossest Couple in the World””.
“I heard that,” came Caroline’s reply from the kitchen. “Frank! You
darling! You cooked steak!”
Andrea rolled her eyes. “Okay, I am so definitely going now. Bye Caroline!”
“Bye!” came the quick reply. “Frank, is this ready?”
******************************************************************
When Andrea got home she heard the unmistakable sounds of Buffy the
Vampire Slayer on the TV.
“Someone wasn’t worthy,” came Spike’s sing-song voice.
In the loungeroom, she discovered Jim and Giles watching the show with
a couple of beers.
“So this is what happens when I go out? Jim comes over and you two
watch repeats of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Hey, Andy, you’re home early! I thought you and Caroline would be
up for hours with movies,” Giles said.
Andrea put her bag on the couch. “Mhm. Lover-boy is home.”
Jim looked confused. “Why do you call Frank lover-boy?”
Andrea smirked and patted her brother on the forehead. “Never you mind.
Caroline, Sharon and I have lots of talks about the men in our lives.”
Giles paled. “You do?”
Andrea chuckled. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell them about your Buffy watching
craze.”
**********************************************************************
The next week, everything was back to normal. Sharon had gone back
to her interior design…although now she was debating fifteen different
shades of blue. Caroline and Frank had settled back into their routine.
Jim had found a new girlfriend. Andrea and Giles were watching Buffy the
Vampire Slayer together. But was everything really normal in the Corr world?
*********************************************************************
Caroline sat at the kitchen table, a calendar in front of her. A pen
in her hand, she patted each day. “Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum…dun
dun.” She checked the date of the paper and the date on her watch. Frowning,
she went back to count again. Same result. Something was not right.
After an hour with the calendar, Caroline’s eyes widened. “Three weeks!
Three weeks!”
************************************************************************
7
Sharon dropped her bag at the door, exhausted. She’d been shopping
during the day for more paint samples and now she was utterly ready to
drop. Then she heard a purring noise. She groaned.
“Gavin, I’m exhausted. Let me sleep.”
Gavin came down the stairs. “Hey, I thought I heard you come in.”
Sharon looked confused. “Didn’t you just purr at me?”
Gavin chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. “No, of course not! It
was probably Fluffy.”
“Fluffy? Who’s Fluffy?” All of a sudden she felt something furry wrap
around her ankles. She almost jumped ten feet into the air.
“That’s Fluffy,” Gavin said, pointing to the white fluffy cat on the
floor.
Sharon scooped up the cat. “AWWWWW. Who’s a gorgeous little puddy cat
then?”
Gavin raised an eyebrow. “You like her?”
“She’s beautiful!” Sharon smiled. She kissed her husband and then went
back to the cat. “How about we go and get some dinner for the little baby
then.” She wandered into the kitchen, carrying the cat in her arms.
**********************************************************************
Caroline threw the fifth pregnancy test in the bin. “This is ridiculous.
Three pinks and two blues. Damn 99.9% correct guarantee. Finally, she put
the sixth one on the shelf and set the egg timer. A few minutes later she
went back and looked at it. “Purple! No! Not purple! Blue or pink that’s
what the box says! Blue or pink! Purple is not an option!” Frustrated,
it too ended in the bin. She heard the front door slam and in a panic,
almost slipped on the tiles as she tried to hide all evidence.
“Caroline? Honey? I’m home,” Frank’s voice came, all the while getting
closer to the bathroom.
In a vain attempt to disguise what she had been doing, she started
running the bath. Frank came into the room.
“You okay? I was calling you.”
“Hi, Frank,” she grinned, kissing him. “Sorry, running the bath.”
Frank looked at her oddly. “At three in the afternoon?”
Caroline glanced at the clock. “Really? That’s the time?” She frowned.
“You’re home early.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I finished early. Closed a deal.”
“Really? That’s great.” Caroline hugged him. “I know, why don’t you
go downstairs and decide what you want for dinner? Maybe we can grab a
movie and something to eat to celebrate.”
Frank frowned slightly. “Uh, it was just an everyday deal.”
“Sure, but why not celebrate the everyday deals once in a while?”
“Uh…okay.”
As he started downstairs, Caroline pulled the bag from the rubbish
tin and was going to hide it somewhere else, when Frank appeared again
at the doorway.
“You know…Caroline…what’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you what’s going on!” she cried. One by one, the pregnancy
tests went back in the bin. “Blue, pink, pink, blue, pink and purple! Purple
is not an option! Can’t people get things right? I mean, am I or aren’t
I? Is it that hard to decide! Am I so deficient that the bloody tests can’t
tell!? Is there something wrong with my method? It just says pee on the
bloody stick! What am I doing wrong? Huh? Pink or blue! No one said anything
about purple! This is…”
Frank put a hand over her mouth. “Caroline, Caroline, calm down!” He
smiled at her. “You think you’re pregnant.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “No, I’m just taking these for a test
ride.”
A broad grin spread over his face and he hugged her tightly. “Let’s
go to the doctor.”
“What? Now?”
“Yeah. Now.” He took her hand and pulled her downstairs. “You probably
just had a defective test.”
Caroline, who was trying to grab her purse and coat as he made his
way to the car, had only heard every couple of words of that. “Did you
just say I’m defective? What the heck is defective about me? We really
should discuss this BEFORE we get married you know!”
“I said the TEST was defective,” Frank assured her. He pulled her into
his arms and kissed her deeply. “YOU are perfect.”
Caroline blushed and got into the car. “Well…that’s more like it.”
***************************************************************
“And then the test was purple. So you can see why I was a bit confused,”
Caroline told the doctor.
She smiled. “That’s okay, Caroline. We’ll check you out and you’ll
find out in no time.”
******************************************************************
Andrea buttered her bread as she made herself a sandwich for lunch.
She heard the door open and close and then…that voice. That nightmare.
That eerie voice that haunted her.
“Andrea?”
“In the kitchen.”
Giles walked in, Charlotte Church by his side.
“Andy, you remember Charlotte, right?”
Andrea plastered a smile on her face and gritted her teeth. “Yes, I
do. Hello Charlotte.”
“Uh, I was just picking up some bookwork and then we were going to
the studio,” Giles explained. He picked up his books. “See you later.”
“Bye!” Charlotte chirped, racing out the door.
“Bye,” Andrea mocked, as she shuddered.
*****************************************************************
“You’re not going to be able to feel the baby yet,” Caroline said,
as Frank rested his ear on her stomach. “I’m only two months pregnant.”
“I don’t care,” he replied.
She smiled. “I’m pregnant.”
He grinned. “Yeah. When are we going to tell people?”
“Let’s keep it to ourselves for a while, okay? Just us.”
Frank leaned up and kissed her. “Good idea.”
********************************************************
Two days later, Andrea answered her phone, munching on her toast. “Hewiheowho?”
“Andrea?”
Andrea swallowed. “Hi, Caroline. I was just having breakfast.”
“I have something to tell you.”
“The bridesmaids dresses are ready to be picked up?”
“Uh, no.”
“The wedding dress is ready to be picked up?”
“Uh…no, Andrea, let me speak for a second. I’m pregnant. I’m going
to have a baby. Well, obviously…”
Caroline had to hold the phone away from her ear as Andrea began squealing
and jumping around.
“We have to get baby toys and baby clothes and a crib!”
“We’ve got seven months, Andy. I’m sure we’ll cope.”
Andrea smirked. “You can’t wear white now.”
Caroline rolled her eyes. “Very funny.”
“You’ll have to tell Daddy you’re living in sin.”
“First of all, I think he knows. And second, so are you.”
“Yeah, but not every night.”
Caroline frowned. “Huh?”
“Just kidding. Unless it’s true…”
“You’re gross.”
“You’re having a baby!!!!!” Andrea squealed again.
Caroline smiled. “Yeah, I am.”
**********************************************************
9
“Are they here? Are they here?” Andrea asked, racing into Caroline’s
loungeroom, throwing her coat and bag on the nearest available chair, which
unfortunately was where Sharon had decided to sit.
Sharon delicately picked a couple of coat fibres off her tongue. “Hello,
Andrea.”
Andrea blushed. “Sorry. Hi Sharon. Has Caroline told you her news?”
Caroline waved her arms about. “Hello! I’m the one with the news!”
“Sorry,” Andrea said, sitting on a chair. “I’m excited.”
“I’d missed that bulletin,” Sharon replied dryly. She turned to Caroline.
“I’m focussing on you now. What’s the news?”
“I’m pregnant,” Caroline grinned.
“Really?” Sharon asked, her eyes lighting up.
Caroline nodded. “Yeah.”
Sharon hugged her sister, squeezing tightly.
“Okay, losing oxygen here,” Caroline replied, gasping for breath.
“Oh! Sorry!” Sharon cried. “But this is fantastic!”
Caroline nodded. “I know.”
“We have to buy clothes and nappies and toys and we have to decorate
a nursery!” Sharon’s eyes lit up at the word decorate.
“Not yet, Sharon,” Caroline said, trying to remove visions of Sharon’s
decorating bug from her mind. “We’ve got the wedding to work on first.”
“Can we try on our dresses yet?” Andrea asked, like a little kid ready
for Christmas.
***********************************************************************
Later that evening, Gavin walked into his house. It was very late and
all the lights were out, so he assumed Sharon had gone to bed. Fluffy had
disappeared, as usual.
He walked into the bedroom and exhausted, quickly got changed. He lay
down and let out a loud yell as claws dug into his back!
Sharon sat up instantly and turned the light on. “What is going on!”
“I’ll tell you what’s going on! That bloody cat took my place in the
bed and then had the hide to sink its claws into my back!”
Sharon quickly scooped the cat into her arms. “Awwww you poor thing!
Did meanie Gavin sit on you?”
Gavin’s eyes widened. “What do you mean meanie Gavin!!!! That cat took
my bed!”
Sharon frowned at him. “Just don’t take up so much space. The poor
cat was asleep!”
Gavin scowled at the cat.
************************************************************************
It was the night before the wedding and the sisters had just finished
dinner at their hotel.
“Explain to me again why the boys couldn’t join us?” Caroline asked.
Sharon and Andrea looked at her aghast.
“What?!”
“It’s bad luck to for him to see you before the wedding tomorrow,”
Andrea told her. “Duh!”
“That’s superstitious, Andrea,” Caroline replied.
“Besides, I’m not talking to Gavin,” Sharon replied, folding her arms.
“He’s cruel to animals.”
Andrea and Caroline looked at her oddly.
“Huh?”
“He threw Fluffy out of the bedroom and now locks her in the laundry
at night. He says that he didn’t marry the cat, he married me.”
Her sisters exchanged glances.
“Well, Sharon, speaking as someone who was there, I agree with him.
He did marry you. I don’t remember any cats being at the ceremony,” Caroline
told her.
“You’re hilarious,” Sharon replied, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, we should
be talking about you.”
“We should?”
“Of course. After all, you’re getting married tomorrow and then off
on a honeymoon.”
“And a wedding night,” Andrea snickered.
“Gee, thanks for the newsflash. I’d forgotten all about it,” Caroline
told them.
“Sarcasm duly noted,” Sharon nodded.
“Are you nervous?” Andrea asked.
“About the wedding night? I think I should be okay,” Caroline said,
rolling her eyes.
“I mean about the wedding!”
Caroline smiled self-consciously. “No. I thought I would be but…no.
Not at all.”
“Better make sure now that he likes animals,” Sharon said.
“We really need to get you off your dependency on pets. And on interior
decorating,” Andrea said. “It’s getting kind of creepy.”
“I do not have a dependency on animals or interior decorating!” Sharon
protested.
“Okay, I do not need bad images in my head the night before my wedding,”
Caroline said, putting a hand to her forehead.
Andrea switched on the television and started flicking through the
channels. “Ooooh,” she said, as she came across a video with a guy showering.
“Very nice.”
Sharon and Caroline looked up.
“What did you do? Access the porn channel!?” Sharon asked, stealing
the remote back.
“Hey! Of course not! Give me that remote back! I had it first!”
As the two tugged on the remote, Caroline tried to wrench it back.
Then the remote went flying across the room and bashed against the wall.
“Look what you did!” Sharon cried. “You broke it!”
“At least it’s on a good channel,” Andrea smirked.
“Hey, person who has to pay for this channel! Not really looking forward
to being confronted by the desk clerk with some weird porn channel!” Caroline
told them.
“Maybe Sharon needs it,” Andrea said. “Maybe all this weird dependency
stuff is a deep rooted case of sexual frustration?”
“This from the woman who dreams about Charlotte Church,” Sharon fired
back.
“Huh?” Caroline said, turning to her sister. “Eww. Thanks for that
image, Sharon.”
“Well…well…” Andrea muttered trying to think about a comeback. “Um…Caroline’s
pregnant!”
Caroline looked down at her tummy. “No way!”
Andrea frowned. “Well, we might as well make good of the channel while
we have it. Lookie…sugary goodness.”
“He is kind of cute,” Sharon said, her head craning. “I think this
is a music video though.”
“In Italian,” Andrea said dreamily.
Caroline sat back against the couch. “Frank’s cuter.”
Andrea and Sharon looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Both
picked up a cushion each and threw them at Caroline.
************************************************************************
Andrea danced around Caroline’s hotel room the next afternoon. “Here
comes the bride, all dressed in white. Stepped on a banana peel and went
for a ride.”
Caroline poked her head out of the bathroom. “You know, I pity the
guy who one day wants to marry you. He won’t know what he’s getting himself
in for.”
“Come out already!” Andrea whined. “I want to see you in your dress.”
“You’ve seen me in it before.”
“Not on your wedding day though. Hurry up!”
Caroline walked out.
“Oooooh,” Andrea grinned. “Someone hit you with a pretty stick.”
Caroline rolled her eyes. “You’ve been watching Gilmore Girls too often.”
Sharon walked in with Emily (I made up the name of the flowergirl ;)),
both looking a bit distressed.
“What?” Caroline asked.
“Okay, don’t panic,” Sharon told her.
“Don’t start a sentence with that,” Andrea said, rolling her eyes.
“Have I taught you nothing?”
“What?” Caroline asked again.
“There’sagreatbigstormandthepowersout,” Sharon mumbled.
“Tell me I didn’t decode what I think I decoded,” Caroline replied.
Emily shook her head at Sharon. “She said that there’s a great big
storm and there is no power.”
“Does that we mean we have to delay the wedding?” Andrea asked.
“Absolutely not!” Caroline said. “I am getting married today! Power
or no power!”
“Um, Caro…we can’t see anything in the church,” Sharon placated her.
“Improvise! I am getting married today. End of story!” With that, the
bride to be stalked back into her bedroom.
“She’s slightly stressed,” Andrea told Sharon and Emily.
“No kidding,” Emily said, her eyes wide.