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Ant, Dec, and Cat Deeley sit on a couch, wearing long black
wigs. Irish music is playing in the background
Cat (posing as Andrea): Hello and welcome to the beautiful world..
All three: Beautiful.
Cat: Of the beautiful Corrs.
Ant (posing as Caroline): You know, a lot of people say to us,
hey you, you're beautiful!
Dec (posing as Sharon): Beautiful.
Cat: Beautiful.
Ant: Beautiful. Corrs, is your beauty skin deep? And we say,
of Corrs not.
Dec: Even our internal organs are beautiful.
All: Beautiful.
Ant: Even our pets are beautiful. This is my beautiful poodle.
(holds
up pic of poodle with Andrea-like long black hair)
All three: Beautiful!
Cat: This is my beautiful budgie. (holds up pic of budgie
with Andrea-like long black hair)
All three: Beautiful!
Dec: And this is my beautiful pet tortoise. (holds up pic
of tortoise with Andrea-like long black hair)
All three: Beautiful!
Jim (with paper bag that says "Jim" over his head): Hey, what
about my pet hamster? Can I show it to the nice boys and the girls?
Cat: Ok Jim but be quick though cause you're not very beautiful.
Ant and Dec: Beautiful!
Jim holds up a drawing of a hamster named Hammy, with bag over its
head. He shakes it about and the others say "Tragic!!"
Andrea, Caroline and Sharon walk out, looking cross. The music abruptly
stops.
Andrea: Excuse me, do you mind telling us what do you think
you are doing?
Cat (stuttering): Uh well, uh, we're sorry, Andrea, we're, sorry,
uh it was all Dec's idea!
Dec: Yes...it was...all Dec's idea. (to Ant) Dec you
stupid idiot, what were you thinking?!! To come up with a stupid idea like
this, didn't you realize they would be offended?
Ant (protesting): I'm not Dec! He’s Dec! I'm, I'm just sorry,
I'm really sorry.
Sharon: Do you really think that's what we're like?
Ant, Dec and Cat look a bit nervous.
Caroline: I mean, we have feelings you know, do you think we
like being portrayed as bimbos?
Cat: No. Um no, well, we're sorry...
Andrea (all cross): Just get out!!!!! Take those silly wigs
off and go and think about what you have done!
All 3 presenters leave, saying "sorry Andrea, sorry Caroline, sorry
Sharon..." apologizing, taking wigs off, Sharon and Andrea sort of push
them away – audience goes "awww" - the girls sit down on the couch, pretending
to be all pissed off
Sharon: God, that's so offensive.
Andrea flicks hair.
Caroline: I know, how rude." (looks straight at camera now)
But we are...incredibly beautiful.
Andrea: Beautiful.
Sharon (shaking hair): Beautiful. We are.
Andrea pouts at camera, Sharon winks, all three lean in and make
come hither faces at camera, and keep mouthing "beautiful" - Sharon puts
her hand over her heart, and smiles, shakes her hair like, Andrea makes
pouty lips. Check out the pic above!
Jim: Hey! What about me? Can I take this dreadful bag off my
head?!
All three girls sigh.
Andrea: Go on then, Jim. Set your beauty free.
Jim removes bag slowly, great sly smile at the girls – audience
cheers
Sharon (waving her hand): Hang on Jim, on second thought, don't.
Cause, you're not as beautiful as we are.
Sharon puts hand over heart again when she says "we" LOL.
Then girls whip their faces back to camera and start making come
hither faces at it again, winking, etc as Jim puts paper bag back over
his head.
Girls lean toward camera again.
Andrea: C’mon then, grab a closer look, you know you want to.
Sharon bats eyelashes.
Caroline: Beautiful..
Sharon winks at camera, Andrea makes come hither face, all three
continue to fawn, blow kisses at camera
Audience cheers!
