Bono's Plan Part 2 On The Road

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Bono’s Plan
Part 2: On The Road…
Jim: Lord, that was good!
Caro: *bop* That’s for nearly having our heads.
Jim: Ow!
Andrea: People are gonna ask questions now!
Anto: So, Cazz, are you really pregnant?
Andrea: See!
Caro: (exasperated) Yes, I am!
Keith: Wow, congrats!
Caro: Thanks, just don’t tell anyone.
Anto: (beaming with delight) We promise!
Sharon: We’re runnin’ late!
Andrea: Lookie what I’ve got ‘ere! A letter from a fan!
Jim: Let’s open it!
Caro: No wait! It could be anthrax!
Jim: Oh, please don’t be so paranoid.
Gavin: Caroline’s right. It’s not about being paranoid, it’s about staying alive.
Jim: But we’re Irish!
Frank: Those dumb terrorists couldn’t differentiate Americans and Irishers even if their life depended on it. I’ll call the cops. {P.S.: Malaysia is not a terrorist country}
Sharon: But we’re running late!
Andrea: Why don’t we leave this with Anto and Keith?
Jim: Good idea. (in a cheery mood) So, who’s gonna drive first?
Soon, the Corrs, Gavin and Frank are all seated in their rented 4-wheel drive, which luckily was enough for 4 very sleepy people. The other two were sitting in front, wide awake, thanks to coffee, loads of them.
Frank: My goodness, they sleep like the dead. Damn that Gavin!
Gavin: *snoore*
Caro: Why do guys snore anyway?
Frank: Hey, girls snore too! Even you snore!
Caro: I…DO…NOT!
A few minutes of silence followed.
Frank: So…how’s the baby? Is he kicking yet?
Caro: (still angry) It doesn’t happen so early, stupid!
Frank: How would I know?
Jim: Shut up! *snore*
Caro: AGGH! Let’s just turn on the radio!
Frank turns on the radio.
Radio: Now we’re showcasing Irish bands and singers, since nearly half of them had concerts this week. First up is Samantha Mumba, who did a gig in New York last Tuesday, with ‘Baby Come On Over’!
Frank: Hey cool! Who knows, one of your songs might just be played. (Caro still scowling)
Radio: Baby come on over, tonight.
Sharon: We could make it alright. *snore*
Andrea: Take a piece of my heart. *yawn*
Jim: And go from the start. *snoore*
Caro: That’s it, I’m waking them up. Frank, pull over please.
2 minutes later, everyone in the car were awake, thanks to Caroline’s pestering persistence and the announcement on the radio.
Andrea: *yawn* Oh, goodie, goodie!
Sharon: Was I really singing just now?
Caro: Yeah, and you actually sounded good!
Jim: The song just finished. Hush everyone!
Radio: Now, here’s Westlife, who performed in Texas yesterday, with ‘Bop Bop Baby’!
Sharon: Oh brother!
Jim: Yes!!!
Andrea: And I thought only girls liked Westlife. *bop* Ow!
A few seconds later…
Jim and Radio: Ooo…bop bop baby,
Andrea: (exasperated) PLEASE!
Shazz and Cazz: (Following the song’s beat) You suck!
Jim: HMPH! (looking at Gavin and Frank laughing their lungs out
After a few songs from the bands they knew, loved, hated and had no idea existed, finally THE song comes on…
Radio: Now it’s time for an all time favourite…
Andrea: Yay! It’s gonna be us!
Radio: Something that’s been on for decades…
Caro: *Eh!*
Radio: But we still love it! It’s… (drum roll)
Jim and Shazz: The Corrs with…
Jim: Breathless!
Sharon: No, Radio! Hehehe!
Radio: (drum roll ends) The Cranberries with ‘Zombie’! Enjoy!
Two Corrs, two Woods, and two Bonars stood still with both hands in the air (except Frank, who had one hand on the wheel) while the radio cranked up a song from their worst rivals. Slowly, they put their hands down.
Radio: Zombie! Zombie! Zombieieieie!!!
Andrea: That’s exactly how I’d describe that Delores-o’-endless-criticism!
Sharon: (sounding like a donkey) Eoheey! Eoheeey!
Jim: Hey, that sounds cool. Everyone now!
Frank lowered the windows, releasing the trapped sounds of the ‘donkey troupe’ to the silent highway. Several drivers who looked like they were about to sleep got a rude wake-up call when they heard ‘braying’ from the 4-wheel drive. When the song was FINALLY over…
Andrea: Whew!
Caro: That was great!
Jim: Why don’t we do that in one of our concerts?
Sharon: Please don’t talk nonsense. Not now.
Radio: That’s the last of our Irish segment. Now, moving on we have…
Jim: That’s…so…unfair!
Radio: Hold on. We have a request! Hello, who’s there?
Caller: Hi, I’m Andrea Bryant. (time for me to butt in )
Andrea: Hey, my namesake!
Radio: Where ya from?
Caller: Well, I’m actually from Malaysia, but I came to California to see The Corrs’ concert. I was listening to your station and I’m disappointed that you didn’t play any song from them.
Jim: Girls, I have a feeling one of our songs might just come on. Let’s get our stuff.
Gavin: Hey, free music.
Sharon: Oh, no Gavin. You’ll have to pay later, and I’ll tell you why…
Rest: Oooooh!
Sharon: Did I say that out loud?
Gavin: Yes, you did.
Caller: I’d bet lot’s of Corrs’ fans out there would be disappointed too..
Radio: Uhh…
Andrea: You’d bet. Hey wait, were the band, hehehe
While I took my time lecturing the DJ, the Corr siblings were taking their own time choosing instruments…
Sharon: What else, of course I’m taking the violin.
Jim: Okay, Andrea?
Andrea: Do I have a choice besides me tin whistle and me wondrous voice?
Caro: I’m taking the tambourine!
Jim: That leaves me with…
Girls: The guitar!!!
Jim: Okay, okay! Sheesh. But I’m taking the accordion, just in case.
After 1 and a half minutes…
Radio: Yes, okay. We’re really sorry! Please, tell us your dedication and the song of your choice!
Caller: Oh yeah. I nearly forgot. I would like to dedicate the song ‘Only When I Sleep’, obviously from The Corrs, to the band themselves, especially the love of my life, Jim Corr.
Sharon: Oooooh, how come we don’t know?
Jim: I didn’t know either…
Caller: Jim, I don’t know if you’re listening, but if you are, thank you for everything you and your band has done for this world. I love you!
Caro: YOUR band?
Jim: Well…of course! Who brought us into stardom?
Andrea: One call going out to…what’s her name again?
Jim: Geri. (entirely made up) *Eh* Wait, don’t!
Andrea: Hehehe.
Radio: Okay, finally! Here’s ‘Only When I Sleep’ by The Corrs!
Caro: Oh, I love this song! 1,2,3…
Jim hears Anto (on the radio) playing the electric guitar and starts to play the acoustic guitar, a not so outstanding role. Andrea was prepared to sing.
Radio and Andrea: You’re only just a dreamboat, sailing in my head…
Andrea sits on Gavin’s lap and wraps her arms around him…
Andrea: You swim my secret oceans, of coral blue and red.
Caro: Woohoo!
Sharon: ANDREA! THAT’S…MY…HUSBAND!
Andrea (and Gavin ) ignored her. She puts her head close to Gavin’s chest and sniffs, and crinkles her nose.
Andrea: Your smell is incense burnin’, your touch is silken, yet…
Sharon: That’s it! GET OFF HIM NOW!
Jim: Do it with Giles! This is incest!
Andrea chuckles and gets off Gavin and approaches Frank, who’s still driving.
Andrea: It reaches through my skin… (touching Frank’s face tenderly)
Caro: Oh, no you don’t!
Sharon: Ha, look who’s protesting now!
Jim: Now, this is interesting.
Caro: Hey! (ears turning red)
Andrea goes back to her seat (mainly because Frank nearly lost control of the 4-wheeler at one point… ). They finish the splendid number with splendour, excluding the fact that Andrea’s tin whistle playing was still riddled with mistakes.
Andrea: (laughing hysterically) The look on your faces! Oh, I should have taken pictures! Hehehe!
Sharon: (sarcastically) Hahaha! Laugh all you like!
Andrea: Trust me, I will.
Jim: I need to get to a restroom!
Frank: There’s a small town and a petrol station about 500 metres away. We could stop there and Gavin could take over.
Gavin: He remembered! Damn!
Jim: (squirming in his seat) Hurry Frank. I don’t think I can hold on any longer!
Andrea: Hey! *kick*
Jim: OW! Why, you…
Frank: We’re here!
Jim: Thank God. I’ll get you later, brat!
Andrea: Who, me?
While Jim was doing his business, the Corr sisters, Frank and Gavin had a problem…
Caro: Let’s go buy food first.
Andrea: How bout’ books?
Caro: Food!
Andrea: Books!
Caro: FOOD!
Andrea: BOOKS!
Sharon: Children, please! (getting murderous stares from Caroline and Andrea) Cazz, you go with Andrea. You need to resolve this out yourselves. Frank, you wait for Jim while I go with Gavin. I need to settle something personal. Something between the both of us.
Caro: Aaah…
Sharon: We’ll be back at the 4-wheeler in an hour’s time. Oh yeah, don’t buy too much food, it’s one in the morning. See ya.
Frank: I think I’m going to the toilet too.
After Sharon, Gavin and Frank went their own separate ways…
Andrea: So, where are we going first?
Caro: Y’know what, let’s just go to that book shop first.
Andrea: Yay! Thanks Cazz!
They enter the shop. A cute salesman approaches them…
Andrea: (dreamily) I’m forgetting Giles…
Salesman: May I help you, ladies?
Caro: Actually, I think we’ll do fine by ourselves.
Salesman: Oh, okay then…
Andrea: (whispering) Hehehe, you were rude.
Caro: No I wasn’t. I just didn’t want him around. The way he looked at me…
Andrea: Hmm… I don’t think he saw your belly.
The girls go to the romance novel section. All this while, a man in a black coat was watching Andrea’s every move…
Andrea: Hey Cazz, come here for a while.
Caro: What’s up?
Andrea: You should try reading this.
Caro: I don’t fancy reading. (To all Cazzers out there, forgive me if I’m wrong, but I’m not sure about this)
Andrea: Trust me, you’ll love it.
Caro: ‘Secret Lovers’?! This is one of your romance novels!
Andrea: Duh!
Caro: No way! I ain’t gonna read this!
Andrea: Oh, come on! Besides, I’m buying. And it might just help in your marriage with Frank, but then again, as if you need any help already. (looking at Caro’s belly)
Caro: Oh, okay then. Hehehe…
After browsing through the gift shop and buying a large chicken pizza for both of them, Caroline and Andrea meet the rest. Sharon and Gavin bought a large macaroni pizza while Frank and Jim bought pizza and beer. They boarded the four-wheeler and drove off. Not very far behind, a black Mazda was following them. After a while down the road…
*ringing sound of Only When I Sleep*
Andrea: Darn phone. Hello?
Bono: Hi, it’s me. What’s taking you so long?
Andrea: We’re on the way. We’re on the road…
Bono: WHAAAT?! It’ll take you a week to reach Florida! And knowing Jim, you’ll get a thousand speeding tickets.
Andrea: Oh, wow. Hold on, you speak to Jim. (whispering to Jim) It’s Bono.
Jim: Hello?
Bono: Jim, you have got to be out of your mind! Driving like this! I need you here immediately!
Jim: Why didn’t you say so? We’re already on our way!
Bono: Never mind. Where are you now?
Jim: We are passing through the Mojave Desert right now. Oh, and Andrea’s suggesting we stop to do a remake of ‘Breathless’.
Bono: Who’s driving now?
Jim: Gavin.
Bono: Tell Gavin to stop.
Jim: What?!
Bono: Do as I say.
Jim asks Gavin to stop. Now, the whole car is listening to Jim’s conversation with Bono.
Andrea: Do we get to do a remake of ‘Breathless’?
Jim: Shush.
Bono: Now, you have to turn back and head to either the Oildale Airport or the Palmdale airport.
Jim: Which one’s nearer?
Bono: I think Palmdale would be nearer. Check your map.
Jim: Okay, I’ll call you later.
Jim hangs up.
Sharon: What’s up?
Jim tells the family of the dilemma they’re in.
Gavin: Great going, guys.
Jim: Well, nobody told me!
Caro: Which one now?
Andrea: Lets see… (opening the map) Yeah, Palmdale would be much nearer from where we are.
Jim: Oh well, lets head there then.
Frank: (drinking beer) Why?
Caro: Don’t ask questions. You’ll find out.
Gavin: Time to spin!
Gavin started the engine and picked up speed. Then suddenly in one turn of the steering-wheel, they suddenly find themselves on the other side of the road.
Sharon: Wow, I never knew you could drive like that.
Gavin: Something I learned in high school.
Andrea: I definitely have to learn how to drive.
Jim: I thought you just took your driver’s licence.
Andrea: I failed it. But there’s always a next time.
The extended Corr family continued to chow down pizza while Gavin was driving. Soon, all the pizza finished and Andrea and Caroline started reading their newly-bought books.
Andrea and Caro: *sigh!*
Frank: Cazz, when did you start reading romance novels?
Caro: Today, and hush please.
Jim: (singing) It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes. Heheheh!
Andrea and Caroline turned red.
Andrea: Just…go to sleep.
Jim: Whatever you say. *thump*
Sharon: Wow, that was quick.
Frank: I’m gonna take a nap too.
Caro: At least all the males in here are asleep.
Gavin: AHEM!
Caro: Except Gavin.
Andrea: Do you wanna read, Shazz?
Sharon: Sure, it sure has been a while.
About an hour went by…
Andy, Shazz, and Cazz: *SIGGGH!*
Gavin: Would you girls please cool down? The air-cond is at it’s coldest but it’s still hot in here.
Andrea: Oh, go and shoite.
Gavin: Hmph! Anyway, please wake everybody up. We’re nearly here.
The girls put down their books and woke Jim and Frank.
Jim: Where am I?
Gavin: We’re nearing Palmdale airport. We’ll be there in about 5 minutes.
Frank: *snoore*
Caro: Frank! WAKE UP!!!
Frank: *snoo* Eh…what’s going on?
Caro: We’re nearing the airport.
Frank: Good, tell me when we’re in Ireland. *snoore*
Sharon: Poor guy, must be the jet-lag.
Caro: This is why we should never bring our extended family along.
In five minutes, they all reach the airport. Jim booked tickets while the rest sat on vacant seats. There were many, considering the time of day…
Andrea: Let’s sit here! It’s nearer to the departure area.
Sharon: Nuh-uh! Let’s sit there. It’s closer to the counter. If we sit here, Jim can’t see us.
Caro: I’m the pregnant woman! I get to choose! I say we sit near the toilet.
Andrea and Sharon crinkle their nose.
Andrea: How bout the fumes problem.
Caro: I didn’t actually ask you to sit beside the toilet. Did you think I lost all my nose-sensors?
Sharon: Pregnancy does do that sometimes… *bop* Ow!
Jim: Got it. Flight’s an hour from now.
Frank: *snoore*
Gavin: What do we do for that long?
Everybody except Frank started to think hard.
Caro: I know! Lets leave Frank here and do a little shopping!
Sharon: At this hour? Puh…lease!
Caro: You have a point.
Andrea: And besides, you can’t possibly leave your husband here!
Caro: Trust me, I can.
Sharon: Hmmm…why don’t we read those romance novels?
Andrea and Cazz: (lightening up) Great idea!
Gavin: And what are we boys gonna do?
Sharon: Just go into town and get some girls, would you?
Andrea and Caroline mouths were gaping wide, hearing Sharon say that.
Gavin: Really?
Sharon: *Eh!* Not you, Gavin. I’m talking about Jim.
Jim: Nah, I’m not in the mood. I’ll just catch up on my sleep.
Frank: *snoore*
Gavin: Home is so much more…interesting, if you ask me.
Andrea, Cazz and Shazz: *sigh!*
Gavin: Oh well, better asleep than watching the girls sigh…
An hour later…
Receptionist: Attention! Those boarding the flight to Florida please go to Boarding #3 immediately. The plane will leave in approximately half an hour’s time.
Andrea: That’s us. Let’s go.
The girls were going for a while when suddenly…
Caro: Oh wait, the boys…
The went back and woke up Jim, Frank and Gavin.
Sharon: Wake up already! The plane’s leaving in 15 minutes time.
Gavin: It is?
Frank: *snooore*
Jim: Don’t forget the stuff. I guess I’d have to drag Frank.
Caro: Oh no, that’s my job.
Jim: You’re pregnant, don’t do it. I’ll have fun heaving this husband of yours.
So, Jim dragged Frank and the rest carried their luggage. Upon reaching the boarding zone…
Attendant: Your tickets please…
Jim: (dropping Frank) Here you go.
Caro: Hey, be careful with that!
Attendant: Umm…is he okay?
Sharon: Oh yeah, he’s just fine. Just jetlagged, you know…
Attendant: Oh okay. Have an enjoyable flight.
Rest: Thanks.
Frank: *snoore*
They boarded the plane with quite a number of other people. They settled in their first-class seats and are doing their own stuff.
Jim: (brandishing his laptop) Time to check the websites!
Gavin: (on the plane game service) Hey Sharon, check this out!
Sharon: (going on the game service) Hey cool, wanna play?
Gavin: You’re on!
Caro: Let’s read and put on our headphones and hear the radio.
Andrea: Okay. (putting on her headphones)
Frank: *snooore* Are we in Ireland yet? *snoore*
Andrea:
Caro: Don’t mind him. Just leave him there.
After an hour…
Pilot: Attention passengers, we’re heading towards some storm-clouds and might be facing some difficulties. Please don’t panic, turn off whatever electrical appliance you are using and fasten your seat belts.
Jim: (turning off his laptop) Oh no, not again!
Sharon: Dear Lord, let not the fate of Aaliyah befall us.
Andrea: Shush! Let’s all keep our cool here!
Caro: You heard them, fasten your seat belts. I’ll do Frank’s.
Suddenly, a big bang, like a thunder, shook the plane.
Andrea: Oh…my God!
Gavin: Can we panic now?
Jim: No! Not yet!
Frank: *sno* What happened?
Caro: It was strong enough to wake Frank up!
Frank: Where exactly are we?
Sharon: On a plane.
Andrea: In a storm cloud.
Jim: Facing some difficulties.
Frank: Oh darn, I have a fear of flying in a storm!
Caro: Frank dear, the plane’s doing it for you.
Frank: No! I have a fear of boarding a plane during a storm.
Andrea: Then why did you board one in the first place?
Frank: I didn’t actually suggest it!
The plane shuddered.
Andrea: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sharon: Omigawd, omigawd! What do we do?
Jim: It’s not as if you could do anything.
Caro: Breathe! Breathe! The baby’s gonna be safe, you are gonna be safe…
Gavin: Goodbye courtroom. Goodbye life…
Sharon: Please don’t induce more panic!
Frank: I need a bathroom!
After a few more shudders and groans from the plane…
Pilot: We have exited the storm cloud safely…
Everybody on the plane: *sigh*
Pilot: …but we have lost an engine.
Jim: Oh damn! I don’t exactly call that ‘exiting the storm cloud safely!!!’
Caro: What does that mean?
Jim: That means one engine is burning. There are four engines on a plane, but if even one engine goes down, the whole plane could go down with it.
Sharon: Oh…my God!
Andrea: That’s not good, is it?
Frank: Definitely not.
Pilot: In light of that, we are making an emergency landing on a nearby airport, in Macon, Georgia to be exact. Everything would be fine and there’s nothing to worry about! Please remain calm during the landing and be assured that we’ll do our best. And, those who do pray, please do so for our safety. Thank you.
Gavin: Let’s join hands…
The family joined hands and prayed while the plane landed safely.
Pilot: (relief in his voice) We have landed safely. More information on how to get to your destination on the next flight you will receive when you are safely on your own two feet in the airport.
Andrea: I don’t think I have the mood to fly anymore.
Frank: Yes, let’s just drive there!
Jim: Where exactly are we?
Sharon: I’m calling Bono. Gavin, please follow me.
Gavin: I think I’ll just stay here…
Sharon: PLEASE follow me!
Gavin: But…oh okay. Coming!
Sharon and Gavin left. Meanwhile, the others were checking the map.
Caro: Let’s see. Bono lives in Miami…
Andrea: That’s quite far away…
Jim: That’s about… (calculating) 600 kilometres away.
Frank: And how are we supposed to drive there?
Jim: There’s a car rental area nearby. I think we’ll be able to reach Miami in about 6 hours, 5 if we drive a little faster.
Andrea: Please, no more driving tickets. You’ve got enough publicity on those.
Jim: (smiling sheepishly) Oh well, six then…
Sharon and Gavin came back. Gavin looked very dazed.
Caro: Hi. What happened between the two of you?
Andrea: Yes, why does Gavin look so, dumb?
Sharon: Oh never mind. Anyway, what’s the plan?
Jim: We’ll take a car down to Miami. What did Bono say?
Sharon: The usual thing. “Are you alright?”, “Are you sure you’re alright?” and “Are you VERY sure that you’re alright?” Bit annoying, really.
Jim: Other than that?
Sharon: Oh, he said call him as soon as we reach Miami.
Frank: Great help.
Gavin: bluuh…
Andrea: Excuse me?
Sharon: It’s nothing, really! Just…jetlagged. (to Gavin) Don’t you dare spit those ciggies out. Or else there’ll be nothing for you tonight!
The family then went to the rental shop in search of a car.
Jim: Umm…we’re looking for a vehicle that would fit all of us, plus these stuff. (pointing at a pile of junk the family call luggage)
Boss: (to himself) You’ll need a tractor for that.
Caro: Were you saying something?
Boss: Oh, no, no. Well…come with me.
The boss brought them to the more expensive vehicles.
Boss: You look like party animals to me…
Sharon: Actually, no.
Boss: Never mind. I would suggest this 4-wheel drive for you…
Caro: Cool!
Frank: Why do we always get stuck with 4-wheelers?
Caro: Because they’re the best.
Jim: Do you have an outlet in Miami?
Boss: Why, are you not coming back here?
Jim: Umm…no. You see, we’re not from the U.S…
Boss: Yes, I realized…
Andrea: Anyway, we’re going to this relative’s house (winking at the rest) in Miami and we need a car there because our plane just crash landed here.
Boss: I see. Unfortunately, I don’t have any outlets in Miami…
A few moments later…
Andrea: And what exactly are we doing at the bus depot?
Jim: We’ll need to get to Miami somehow!
Caro: Why don’t you get Bono to send a limo or something?
Sharon: Oh, he can’t.
Gavin: bluh bluh BLUUUH?!
Andrea: Excuse me?
Sharon: Oh, he’s saying, “And why NOT?” Anyway, his wife is using one, and the other one’s at the mechanic.
Frank: Great, just great!
Jim: So, everyone agrees to go on the bus?
Several minutes later…
Jim: Yeah, this is our bus alright.
Andrea: Whatever, let’s just get on it and be through…
Turns out that Jim, Gavin and Frank were the only guys in the bus. Even the bus driver’s a woman.
Jim: ‘Romance Novel Lovers Association for Females?!’
Frank: Oh brother!
Gavin: Bluuuuh!
The rest looked confused except Gavin and Sharon
Frank: Umm, Sharon, what was he saying?
Sharon: He’s saying “God!”. Hey, I guess this is not as bad as I had thought…
Caro: Hehehe!
Andrea: Hey, we’re one of you!
Jim: How are we supposed to get through this journey without being cooked by the heat?
Andrea:
Caro: Hey, I have an idea!
5 minutes later…
Caro: (shouting) How’s the view?
Andrea and Sharon: Hehehe!
Jim: Fine, just fine!
Jim is strapped by the hoard on top of the bus.
Sharon: Anybody else wanna join Jim?
Frank: Uh, no.
Gavin: Bluh.
Andrea: Em…
Sharon: He’s saying, “No”. Aren’t you, my darling Gavin?
Gavin nods his head.
Andrea: Good.
Caro: Hey Jim, make sure you bend every time we reach a tunnel!
Jim: Yeah, sure. I’ll definitely remember that one. Wait a minute, aren’t you guys gonna put me down or something.
Caro: Nope! You’re staying there the whole way!
Jim: Oh…my God!
Halfway through the journey…
Girls in the bus: *siiiiiiiiiigghhhh*
Jim: (smiling) Hey, Gavin, Frank, how are you guys doing down there?
Frank: I think I would be better off being strapped with you.
Jim: You’re right about that. And how bout Gavin?
Gavin: (with a book in his hands) *siiigh*
Jim: Umm…was that Gavin?
Frank: Uh-huh.
Jim: You hang in there, man! Make sure they don’t put you under the romance novel’s spell!
Frank: (chuckle) I’ll try my best. How is it up there?
Jim: Great scenery, great wind…
Frank: Okay, okay! Enough already!
Jim: Heheheh!
After a few hours, they arrive at Orlando. When they stop at an intersection…
Girl on the street: Hey, look at that guy strapped to the top of that bus! Isn’t he cute?
Another girl: Yeah. Poor guy, he’s even struggling to wave at us.
Girl 1: Jealous girlfriend, perhaps.
Girl 2: Maybe, or even irritating siblings.
Girl 1: You hang on there, stud! C’mon, let’s go.
Jim: Umm…guys, you can let me down now!
Caro: (putting down her book) And why should we?
Other girls: Yeah!
Jim: C’mon Cazz! There are girls looking at me!!!
Frank: Stay there! It’s unbearable here!
Andrea: Let him down. I think he has enough.
Caro: But, but…
Sharon: Yeah, he’s been up there for quite a while.
Caro: Oh, alright! Excuse me, can you please stop and park the bus at a suitable place? We need to get our brother down.
Driver: Okay.
Frank helped bring Jim down from the roof while the rest watched.
Jim: Phew! That was a relief.
Bus driver: Actually, the bus station where I’m supposed to leave you guys is just a few metres away. But from here, the car rental shop is nearer…
Sharon: We’ll stop here, thank you.
Caro: Yeah, that’s the best thing to do.
Andrea: Bye friends! With luck, we’ll see you again!
Whole bus: Bye Garon, Angela, Camellia and Shereen!!! We love YOU!!!
Jim: Let me guess, you didn’t tell them who you were?
Sharon: Well, not exactly…
Caro: I still don’t get it. Why Garon? ( )
Gavin: Bluhbluh, bluh bluh bluh bluhbluh bluh bluh bluhbluh bluh.
Jim: Umm…
Sharon: It’s okay dear, let me explain. He’s saying, “Because, it’s a cross between mine and Sharon’s name.”
Frank: Whatever. Let’s get to that rental shop first.
They walked a little further until they reached the car-rental shop.
Rental-shop Owner: Hello, may I help you?
Jim: Yes, we’re looking for a car to fit all of us.
The owner looked at each and every one of them.
RSO: I don’t know the other 2 guys, but the rest of you are the Corrs, aren’t you?
Sharon: (whispering) Should we tell him?
Caro: (whispering) I suppose.
Andrea: Yes, we are. This is Gavin, Sharon’s husband and that’s Frank, Caroline’s husband.
RSO: (looking excited) I’m a fan of yours!
Jim: Umm…okay.
RSO: I’m offering you chauffer-ridden limousine free of charge.
Sharon: Why does that sound too good an offer?
RSO: Oh no, you’ll have to give me CDs of all your albums. And make sure they’re autographed.
Jim: It’s a deal!
Frank: Yeah, we’ll send the CDs along with your limousine.
RSO: Alright, here’s the car. The very same one Madonna used for her music video, “Music”.
Gavin: bluhbluh bluhbluh bluhbluh!
RSO: Forgive me if I ask, is your husband dumb, Sharon?
Sharon: Oh no, he’s just jetlagged. He’s saying “Holy Mother Mary!” by the way…
Andrea: Why would he say that?
Sharon: Oh, he’s a big fan of Madonna.
Caroline snorted out the juice that she was drinking.
Sharon: What?!
Caro: Oh, nothing at all.
RSO: Do you wanna hang around here for a while or do you wanna leave right now?
Jim: We’ll leave right now, thank you.
The family got on the limousine. Thank God, the chauffer had no idea who they were.
Chauffer: Excuse me, who are you people?
Jim: (winking at everyone else) Oh, we’re just old friends of your boss.
Chauffer: Right. Where to?
Andrea: Miami.
Frank: (singing) I’m going to Miami.
Caro: (singing along) Welcome to Miami!
The chauffer laughed and put on Will Smith’s song named ‘Miami’.
Chauffer: It’s this song, isn’t it?
Frank: Yes, it is! You a fan of Will Smith?
Chauffer: Nah, it’s just in here for some reason.
Silence followed for a while. Frank and Gavin fell asleep.
Chauffer: You’re not from here, are you?
Caro: Nah, we’re from Ireland. How did you know?
Chauffer: I figured you can’t be here ‘coz your accent’s so thick.
Jim: Well, you guessed right.
Sharon: Umm…there’s this band from Ireland that all of us love…the name of the band is the Corrs. Do you have any CDs or cassettes by them, by any chance?
Andrea: (whispering) Are you crazy? You’re gonna blow our cover!
Sharon: (whispering) Relax, Andrea! Watch and see.
Chauffer: Yeah, we do have a few CDs.
Sharon: Please put the one titled, “Talk On Corners”.
Chauffer: Alright. I should tell you though; all of you look like them, except maybe those two other blokes sitting at that corner.
Jim: (nervously) Yeah, we are.
Caro: Yeah, in Ireland, everybody looks just about the same.
Chauffer: Oh well.
Andrea: (whispering) I still don’t see the point in asking him to play our record!
Sharon: (whispering) Patience, my dear. My point is about to be proven soon.
Only When I Sleep was played.
Chauffer: Hey, this band’s cool! I’m definitely buying more stuff from them!
Sharon: (whispering) See!
Andrea: (whispering) Omigawd! Good marketing strategy, Sharon!
Jim: Yeah, they’re one of the coolest bands on the block!
Sharon: (whispering) Don’t push it, Jim.
Caro: How long will it be ‘til we reach Miami?
Chauffer: About 2 to 3 hours more. It depends on the traffic.
Then, Paddy McCarthy started playing.
Sharon: Oh God, one of my most favourite songs!
Chauffer: Is this an instrumental?
Andrea: Yeah, it is.
Chauffer: I’ve heard many instrumental people such as Bond, Vanessa Mae and people like that.
Caro: So what do you think of this one?
Chauffer: I think it’s one of the best instrumentals I’ve heard!
Jim: You really think so? (winking at Sharon)
Sharon:
Chauffer: Yeah. It’s fantastic. I especially love the violin parts.
Sharon:
Caroline: Well, you’re in luck, ‘coz a beautiful lady in here loves this song too! *bop* Ow!
Jim: Plus, she plays the violin herself! *bop* Ow!
Chauffer: Which one?
Caro: The one with the brown hair. *bop* Ow!
Chauffer: Really?
Sharon: Yeah. I must tell you, I’m married though.
Chauffer: (looking downfallen) Oh. To whom?
Sharon: They guy sleeping over there. The one with the goatee.
Chauffer: Hmm...not bad a taste.
Sharon:
Caro:
Jim:
Andrea: I think we’ll just have a nap. You go on listening to the songs. We personally don’t mind.
Jim: In fact, I think we sleep better with the songs on.
Chauffer: Alright then…
A few hours later, Jim woke up. He woke his sisters up as well, but left his snoring brother-in-laws asleep.
Andrea: (sleepily) Where are we?
Sharon: (sleepily) I don’t wanna get up…
Jim: We’re nearly there. Who has Bono’s number?
Instantly, the three girls took their own cell phones and begin searching for Bono’s number.
Jim: Whoa, one would do!
Andrea: Here. Wow, our chauffer sure learns the lyrics to our songs quickly!
Chauffer: (singing and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel) This is the right time! Once in a lifetime!
Caro: I’m truly amazed…
Sharon: Hey, he’s even whistling for the tin whistle parts!
Andrea:
Caro: Yeah, maybe he thinks you’re not married yet…
Jim: And he’s right…
Andrea: Shush! I’m happy with Giles. (they still haven’t broke up yet in this story)
Chauffer: Ah, you’re all awake. We’re gonna reach Miami in like, half an hours’ time.
Jim: Good. Can you stop a while? I have to make an important call.
Chauffer: Can’t stop here. There’s a stop about 5 minutes from here. Is that alright?
Jim: Yeah, sure.
5 minutes passed.
Chauffer: Right, we’re here.
Jim: Okay, I’ll just be a minute.
Andrea: But we’ll be about half an hour!
Jim: Why?
Sharon: Shopping, of course!
Caro: And besides, we have to buy more romance novels. We ran out of stock…
Jim: Oh, no!
Andrea: Jim, the roof, remember…
Jim: Whatever. Just wake Frank and Gavin up.
Sharon: Maybe not Gavin. It’s better if his mouth were closed…
Just then, Gavin let out a huge snore and the cigarette packet in his mouth fell out.
Sharon:
Caro and Andy: Eeeeeeeeeew!!!
Jim: Oh, so that’s why Gavin couldn’t talk all along…
Caro and Andy:
Caro: Hmm…Andrea, I think drastic moves are necessary…
Andrea: Yes. Where are those nicotine patches?
Sharon: No!
Caro and Andy: YES!
Jim took out the nicotine patches from Sharon’s backpack.
Jim: Here you go. Have fun, Sharon!
Andrea and Caroline stuffed 2 nicotine patches into Sharon’s mouth. Sharon grudgingly chewed the patches.
Jim: Perhaps now we can wake the other two now?
Andrea and Caroline woke Frank and Gavin.
Frank: Where are we?
Gavin: I’m not sure myself.
Frank: Gavin! You can speak again!
Gavin: Wha.. Uh-oh!
Frank: Why?
Caroline told Frank everything.
Frank: Whaat! Sharon, is this true?
Sharon: (nodding while chewing) Why not? *chomp, chomp*
Frank: (shaking his head) Smoking is bad. Your sisters are great people for wanting you to stop. (at this point, Andrea’s head was lifted a few inches while Caro’s ears turned red)
Sharon: *chomp* Oh, alright! I’ll stop, okay? *chomp, chomp*
The family nodded their heads.
Caro: Right. Now to get rid of this soggy packet…
Chauffer: (looking disgusted) There’s a pair of thongs in the car…
Jim: Give them to me. I’ll do it.
Andrea: Good, coz I don’t think any one of us is gonna do it.
Caro: I have an idea.
Sharon: Uh-oh. *chomp, chomp*
Caro: Why don’t we let Sharon do it? After all, she’s the one who’s guilty…
Andrea: (lightening up) Why, that’s a brilliant idea!
Sharon: *chomp, chomp* NOOOO!
Andrea and Caro: YEESSSSS!
Soon enough, Sharon was taking the soggy packet of cigarettes to the nearest dustbin while Jim went to call Bono.
Caro: How could someone smoke that anyway?
Andrea: You’re asking me.
Jim: I think she’s really desperate for some ciggies.
Frank: Awww. I somehow feel bad for her.
Gavin: Don’t. I had to read a romance novel just so that I had something to do. Oh, the horror romance novels give!
Andrea: For a woman, that is entertainment. Women like it in general. Like our Cazz. She didn’t like reading at all, before she started romance novels, that is.
Caro: Hehehe. That’s true, you know.
Sharon: The packet has been disposed. (at this point, she looked really old) So, what’s going on here? *chomp, chomp*
Andrea: Um…Sharon, are you alright?
Sharon: (glaring at Andrea) *chomp, chomp* Yeah, I’m fine.
Caro: We’re sorry. We kinda know how hard it is to stop.
Sharon: Oh, it’s okay. I know I’ll have to stop someday. I can’t have lung cancer. *chomp*
Andrea: *sob*
Caro: Uh-oh…
Sharon: Oh, sorry. *chomp* I forgot about mom… (Jean died of a rare lung disease.)
Andrea: *sob* It’s okay. Sisters?
Sharon: Sisters. *chomp chomp*
With that the three sisters hugged.
Jim: Hey, what did I miss?
Caro: None of your business!
Andrea: Yep.
Jim: Why not?
Sharon: Jim, do you honestly want to participate in girl talk? *chomp*
Jim: Since I’m already in a band where most of the members are girls, I might as well join in.
Andrea: Jim, go and shoite.
Caro: Yeah, talk with Frank and Gavin or something.
Sharon: Or talk to the ceiling. That really helps, you know. *chomp chomp*
Jim: Hmm…looks like I’m not wanted here…
Caro: Like, DUH!
Jim: Hmph! I shall look for your husbands, Cazz and Shazz, and tell them the big mistake they made by marrying you.
Sharon: Try them! They love us too much to listen to sibling rivalry such as this. *chomp*
Andrea: I’m just gonna keep quiet…
Jim: Fine, I’m leaving!
Shazz and Cazz: Fine!
Jim stomped off to see Gavin and Frank in the pizza parlour while the girls headed for the bookstore. As soon as Jim got there…
Gavin: Yeah, wives can be so irritating at times!
Jim: Whoa, and I didn’t even start the topic…
Frank: Yeah, especially if they’re spoilt and rich and…
Jim: Hey guys. Girl problems?
Gavin: Yeah, major girl problem…
Frank: I still can’t believe that Sharon could do that to Gavin.
Gavin: Think, Frank, think! Why would I stuff a packet of cigarettes in my mouth?
Jim: Note that he is also a non-smoker…
Frank: Right. But she doesn’t seem to be a person like that.
Jim: Many don’t look what they seem.
Gavin: Eh, since when did you become a poet?
Jim: Every man becomes a poet sometimes… Beer anyone?
Gavin: Me!
Frank: Me too!
Jim: Right. Waiter! Three Coors please…
Meanwhile…
Sharon: Jim can be so insensitive at times…
Caro: Well, that’s our brother…
Andrea: But maybe he just wants to be a part of us.
Andrea gets radioactive glares from her sisters.
Andrea: What?
Caro: Even if he did, why is he so irritating?
Andrea: He is?
Sharon: I don’t think we’re getting anywhere…
Caro: Stop driving conscience into us!
Andrea: That’s my job. The peacemaker!
Shazz and Cazz:
The girls browsed through a little more books.
Caro: Hey, this seems nice.
Andrea: ‘Murder of Love’? Sounds creepy, but it’s always worth a try.
Caro: Right. (puts the book in her ‘to buy’ basket)
Sharon: Me thinks we should apologize to Jim.
Caro: Yeah, me too.
Andrea: Well, it’s your fault, not mine. Go ahead and apologize!
Sharon: Where did he say he’d be?
Andrea: With Frank and Gavin at the nearest pizza parlour. And damn, we didn’t ask him what Bono said!
Caro: Right. Are you coming?
Andrea: Let’s get these books first.
The girls paid for the books and left for the pizza parlour Jim, Frank and Gavin were in. Meanwhile…
Jim: Girls can be so manipulating sometimes!
Frank: Yeah.
Gavin: You’ve said it.
Jim: I still can’t get over Andrea…
Frank: Andrea?!
Jim: *eh* No, not my sister. Andrea as in Andrea Roche.
Frank: *pheew*
Gavin: Poor you. What happened?
Jim: All she wanted was fame, I guess. When mammy died, she left me because she thought that we were gonna break up. Our mammy was one of our 2 pillars.
Frank: Then what happened?
Jim: When the news was out that we were not going to break-up, she kinda like wanted to get back with me.
Gavin: ***** .
Jim: Please, Gavin. I still have feelings for her.
Gavin: But, how?
Frank: Yeah, after all this?
Jim: I don’t know. I guess this is what you call love.
Gavin: This love’s not worth it, Jim.
Frank: She’s not worth your attention, care or love.
Jim: I know. That’s why I want to give it to her.
Gavin: You’re a great man, Jim. I propose a toast to Jim.
Frank: Cheers! *clicking his beer bottle with the other two*
Jim: (thinking distantly) Cheers…
Meanwhile…
Sharon: We are SO lost! *starts to weep*
Caro: No, we’re… Sharon! Don’t cry!
Andrea: My eldest sister is crying?!
Caro: Andrea! Shush!
Sharon: This all happened because of me. If I hadn’t put that packet in Gavin’s mouth, none of this would have happened.
Caro: C’mon , don’t blame yourself. Now’s just not the time.
Andrea: Hey, I think I see a few people. Let’s go ask them.
Caro: Great, let’s go. And Sharon, luckily you wore waterproof makeup. Wipe away your tears.
Sharon wiped away her tears and they headed for the group of people. Unknown to the sisters, there was a man dressed in black following their every move.
Caro: Excuse me, do you know where the nearest pizza parlour is?
Man 1: This is a private party!
Man 2: Yeah, I’m sorry girls. You all look damn pretty and damn good, but we have too many women here already.
Man 1: And besides woman, you’re pregnant!
Caro: Yes, and I so want to give it to you… Look, where’s the nearest pizza parlour?
Man 2: You mean you don’t wanna join us?
Andrea: No. We just wanna know where the nearest pizza parlour is.
Man 1: The under aged is speaking…
Andrea: (fuming) I…am…not…under…aged!!!
Man 2: Whatever. We don’t know. We’re new here. Perhaps you should ask one of our girls.
The Corr girls look at the other 6 girls there.
Sharon: Why are you all wasting your lives by giving it to useless men such as these?
The chattering girls kept silent.
Man 1: Hey, if we can’t tell you the place, don’t take it on us by taking our girls. They’re very well paid. (rubbing the bare buttock of one woman)
Caro: (looking in disgust) Never mind. These people won’t serve us any help. Let’s be on our way.
Andrea: How can you call yourself women? (looking in disgust)
Sharon: Andrea, let’s go.
The girls walked away and headed for the main road. The guy in black continued following them…
Sharon: Perhaps we were wrong in certain ways to our men folk…
Caro: Yeah, I kinda regret yelling at Frank now.
Andrea: And me for not calling Giles in a long time. He must be worried sick!
With that, Andrea grabs her cell phone and calls Giles.
Caro: We’ll be in that pub.
Sharon: Yeah, hurry and don’t talk for an hour!
Andrea: Okay!
Andrea walks into the darkness while waiting for Giles to pick up his phone.
Andrea: *dial tone* C’mon! Pick the phone up…
Giles: *click* Hello?
Andrea: Hi love…
Giles: Andrea! I was about to call you too. I missed you so.
Andrea: Hush. I just want to hear you breathe. I missed you too. ( )
Giles: When are you coming back?
Andrea: Soon, I can’t actually tell when.
Giles: Come soon, please. Anyway…
Meanwhile…
Sharon: (sipping on a Coors) Hey this beer tastes great.
Caro: Oh yeah. And it has our name. At least most of it.
Man in pub: Hey ladies, wanna have a time of your life?
The rest of his group laughed.
Caro: (gets up) You want a piece of me?
Man in pub: Whoa, the pregnant lady speaks up.
His group laughs again.
Sharon: Cazz, sit down. Don’t mess with people.
Caro: I don’t care. (flashes a third finger)
Man in pub: (gets up) Look lady, I don’t wanna hurt you. You’re with child.
Caro: So what?
Sharon: Oh God, help!
Meanwhile…
Andrea: (talking with Giles) How’s dad?
Giles: He gave me a call yesterday, asking about you.
Andrea: And what did you tell him?
Giles: Oh, the usual stuff. You’ll be fine, your siblings are there with you and stuff like that.
Andrea: It’s amazing how he keeps on following up on me.
Giles: You’re his youngest daughter, why not? And his most beautiful.
Andrea: *blush* You flatter me.
Giles: When you come home, I’ll flatter you beyond your wildest dreams.
Andrea blushes some more. Just then, the guy in black tapped her shoulders.
Stalker man: Excuse me…
Andrea: Giles, hold on, there’s somebody who wants to talk to me. Yes, sir?
Stalker man: A little girl shouldn’t be walking on these streets so late at night!
Andrea: Wha…damn, it’s you again!
Giles: Hello? Andrea is there some kind of problem?
SM: Let me take you back to your parents. (grabs hold of Andrea)
Andrea: GIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLES!!!!
Giles: What? What? What’s going on?
Andrea: Please call my siblings! I’m in trouble. Tell them I’m near Wayne’s pub!
SM: Shut up! (stomps on the cell phone)
Andrea: AAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!
Meanwhile, in Ireland…
Giles: Damn! Right, call Jim first. (dials Jim’s number)
In the pizza parlour.
Jim: Hahaha! (cell phone rings) Hold on a sec. Hello?
Giles: Jim! Your sister’s in trouble!
Jim: (gets up urgently) Which one? Where?
Giles: Andrea. She’s near the Wayne pub or something.
Jim: Right, I’ll get going. See you. (hangs up) Waiter, where’s the Wayne’s pub?
Waiter: Straight along this road then turn to your left. The last shop is Wayne’s pub.
Jim: Right, thanks. Gavin, Frank, let’s go.
Gavin: (gets up) Is there anything wrong?
Jim: Andrea’s in trouble.
Frank: Damn! (hurries along)
Meanwhile, back in Ireland.
Giles: Right, now call Shazz. (dials Sharon’s number)
In the pub…
Caro: You wanna piece of me? (fighting mode)
Man in pub: Lady, I don’t wanna fight. Don’t let me start.
Caro: C’mon, you big sissy man!
Sharon: Cazz, stop it!
Sharon’s phone rings.
Sharon: Hello?
Giles: It’s me, Giles. Andrea’s in trouble!
Sharon: Damn. Where is she?
Giles: She’s near Wayne’s pub. Hurry, she sounds urgent!
Sharon: Thanks Giles. Don’t need to call Cazz. She’s here with me.
Giles: Great. Call me back when everything’s done and over with, please.
Sharon: Don’t need to worry. Bye. (hangs up)
Caro: That’s it. C’mon…
Sharon: Cazz! Andrea’s in trouble!
Caro: What?!
Sharon: She’s in trouble, c’mon!!!
Meanwhile in Ireland.
Giles: (praying) Jesus, please make my baby safe…
Back to America.
Sharon: She’s gotta be around here somewhere…
Andrea: HEEEELLLP!!!
Caro: There she is! Let’s go!
Sharon and Caro run towards Andrea’s voice. A little further down…
Jim: I think I hear Andrea. Let’s go!
Jim, Gavin and Frank run even faster. Meanwhile…
Caro: Wow, this place sure stinks.
Sharon: I see Andrea!
Andrea is being tied with a rope and gagged with a piece of cloth. The stalker guy’s back was facing the other two sisters.
Andrea: MMFH!!!
Caro: Andrea, we’ll save you!
SM: Huh?! (turns around) Damn!
Sharon: Still haven’t got enough of us, I suppose…
SM: Last time was nothing. Let’s see about this time.
Sharon: Cazz, you stay down. You won’t help much if you’re with child.
Caro: Wanna check and see?
Sharon: (sighing) Cazz, we don’t have time for this…
Caro: I don’t care. Why is…
Sharon: Watch out! Behind you!
Caroline turns around and manages to block the stalker man’s downward blow just in time. She then kicks him and steps aside.
Caro: On second thoughts, I give the honours to you.
Sharon: Thank God! Go untie Andrea!
Caro: Right. Good luck.
Sharon: Thanks. Now, let’s see what I can do with this piece of trash… *kick* *punch*
Suddenly…
Jim: I heard the sounds coming from here!
The boys saw Sharon in mid-air kicking the stalker man in a speed faster than light. They also saw Andrea’s open mouth and Caro cheering for Sharon.
Caro: C’mon! Oh, hi guys!
Frank and Gavin had their mouths hanging.
Jim: Right. I’m gonna join her.
With that, Jim jumps up and high-fives Sharon. They both land on the ground safely, unlike the stalker man.
Sharon: Ooh. What a fall… (laughs sarcastically)
Jim: I don’t think he’s done yet.
The stalker man gets up and walks as though as he became stronger with each kick.
Sharon: Whoa!
Jim: Wanna do this together?
Sharon: Why not?
The both jumped up and kicked the man in his temples; Jim on the right temple and Sharon on the left.
Jim: Haunted noose!
Jim did a move that was too fast too see, but in the end, the man was choking. His own hands were strangling him. They were tied into a knot.
Sharon: Mischievous cat!
Sharon jumped up and started scratching the man with her elongated nails that appeared out of her jacket. In no time, the man was bleeding.
Caro: Yay! C’mon, do the Grim!
Sharon: (still scratching) Too deadly! Something else!
Caro: Alright. The Bonded Moon then! And I’ll help!
Jim: Okay. Sharon, Bonded Moon!
Sharon stopped scratching and they jumped in perfect timing. Everything turned into slow motion. Caro threw the stalker man up as high as she could.
Andrea, Frank and Gavin: (in slow motion) Whoooooooooaaaaaaaa…
Caro: (in slow motion) Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!
Jim kicked the guy on the face and broke his jaw with an elbow. Sharon nearly killed him by kicking him where it hurts (I’m sure you all know where… and broke his shins by using her one leg to hold his leg and another to kick. Then they both joined hands and kneed the guy in his side.
Andrea: (normal time) Ouch!
Frank: (normal time) I gotta learn how to do this.
Gavin: (normal time and checking his watch) And it all happened in less than a second! Amazing!
Jim and Sharon landed perfectly while the stalker man landed in a heap on the ground. Caro kicked him hard enough to make him land nicely into a dumpster.
Caro: Great job, guys.
Sharon and Jim: Thank you. (putting on their shades)
Gavin: Umm…it’s nighttime now… why the shades?
They both embarrassedly took off their shades.
Andrea: I don’t get it. What’s with the shades?
Sharon: It’s just a spy thing. Umm…Gavin?
Gavin: (in a disinterested tone) What?
Sharon dragged Gavin aside from the rest of the family. Andrea and Jim looked on amusedly while Caro gave suggestive signals to Frank, who dragged her away for them to be alone.
Sharon: I’m sorry for the way I acted today… I know ciggies don’t taste good the first time.
Gavin: Nah, it’s okay…
Sharon: *pheew*
Gavin: …but it comes with a few regulations.
Sharon: What are they?
Gavin: (holding Sharon’s waist) That we shag-til-we-drop as soon as possible and that you teach me how to do the thing you did just now.
Sharon: (laughing) Alright. I’ll give you a shag you’ve never experienced before.
Gavin: Oooh, I can’t wait!
Sharon: (mischievously) You have too.
Meanwhile, with Caroline and Frank…
Frank: Why did you bring me here?
Caro: I was thinking…oh crap, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
Frank: Apology accepted.
Caro: Just like that?
Frank: Of course not. You know what I want…
Caro: Let’s see. Some passionate lovemaking?
Frank: When you’re pregnant?!
Caro: (shrugging) Why not?
Frank: Never mind. I don’t exactly want that.
Caro: (flirtatious) What else do you want, then?
Frank: Can you teach me how to jump and all that?
Caro: Wow, I think we can start a class on this.
Frank: Why?
Caro: So far, you and Andrea have asked. And I bet Gavin is asking Sharon the same thing right now.
Frank: Oh well…
Andrea: (looking at Frank and Caroline as well as Sharon and Gavin, who are currently making out) Excuse me, but what do we do with him?
Sharon: (breaking away from Gavin’s kiss) Who?
Jim: Him… (pointing at the dumpster)
Caro: Oh…
Gavin: (brandishing his cell phone) Shall I call the police?
Sharon: Hold on a minute. Let’s discuss this out first.
Jim: I somewhat think we shouldn’t call the police…
Rest: Why not?
Jim: Well, if we send him to the police, this story will be highly publicized. And knowing our fans, especially those on COL, they’ll be looking at pictures of the poor man and wondering how he got injured so badly. And somehow they’ll find out that we’re able to do all this amazing feats. Then poor dad will get into trouble if they found out that he thought us this for the rebel project. I know these people; they even go to extremes to find Andrea’s underwear lines in some of those clothes…
The rest looked at him blankly.
Gavin: Umm…can you repeat that again?
Jim:
Frank: Okay, based on whatever Jim said just now, it’s best that we don’t report this. But what if he follows our trail again?
Caro: You know what? Me thinks…
Sharon: Uh-oh!
Andrea: Hehehe…
Caro: ME THINKS… (looking at every person) …that he should be sent to a mental asylum. That would do the trick.
Jim: As I was saying…
Gavin: I think you can skip that, Jim. We wouldn’t understand anyway.
Andrea: Okay. If we leave him there, he’ll get up, he’ll get healed somehow, and then he’ll look for me again. Luckily I had Giles today, but what if I don’t have anyone with me the next time ‘round?
Sharon: (hugging Andrea) We’ll all be with you next time, alright?
Caro: (joins the hug) Yeah, don’t worry. We’ll be with you. Plus, we’ll teach you the amazing thing we did just now.
Andrea: (hugs back) Thanks Shazz and Cazz. You’re the best sisters I’ve ever had.
Sharon: Dearie, we’re the ONLY sisters you’ve got.
Andrea: But I have lots of others…
Caro: In faith, we know.
Andrea: Yeah.
Jim: (looking at Gavin and Frank uncertainly) Group hug, guys?
Gavin: (uncomfortably) Uh, no.
Frank: (uncomfortably) Yeah, I think I’m fine here, standing all by myself.
Jim: (just as uncomfortably) Yeah, me too. Forget I just said that.
Gavin: Fine.
Frank: Fine.
They were there for a while when finally Andrea spoke up.
Andrea: Umm, why are we still here?
Sharon: Good point. Let’s leave.
Caro: Lets go into the pub we went just now, Sharon.
Sharon: (looking at Caro) And for what reason?
Caro: Oh, just c’mon! Guys, follow me.
They all stepped into the Wayne’s pub. The man that harassed Sharon and Caroline was still there with his group.
Man: Oh, lookie here, the pregnant lady’s back with her sister!
His group: (laughs)
Caro: Talk all you want. We brought some extras along.
Just then, evil looking Andrea, Jim, Frank and Gavin stepped into the bar.
Man: Okay…I think we’ll just mind our businesses. You kids go and have some fun.
Caro: That’s more like it. Bartender, 6 Guinness please!

They drank, were happy, and made their way to the car, where the chauffer was sleeping.
Chauffer: *snoooore*
Andrea: Oh no! Poor guy, we left him here all alone!
Caro: Oooh! Andrea’s showing some care and affection.
Sharon: Hehehe.
Andrea: Oh, hush already. It’s just caring between humans!
Jim: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m sure.
Andrea: But it’s true!
Gavin: Enough already. Should we wake him up?
Frank: You know what? Let’s just leave a note saying that we’ll be here in 8 hours time.
Caro: Yeah, we need to catch up on sleep.
Jim: But Miami’s just half an hour away!
Andrea: Or do the couples have some plan on, hmmm?
Sharon, Gavin, Caro and Frank blushed.
Sharon: We just want sleep, Andy.
Caro: Yeah, pure sleep.
Andrea: Alright then. I’ll write the note…
Andrea wrote the note and stuck it in between the dashboard. They then left for the motel.
Jim: 4 rooms please.
Receptionist: (looking bored) Uh-huh. Here you go. That will be a hundred bucks.
Jim paid up. They then made their way up to their rooms. In their rooms…
Jim’s room…
Jim: (talking on the phone) Yes Geri, I’m fine. No, the stalker man didn’t get me. It’s okay, really! Andrea’s fine! Everybody’s fine!
Caro and Frank’s room…
Caro: I’ll teach you back at home. Now come back and sleep already!
Frank: (jumping on the bed) I wanna learn!
Caro: (looking very tired and irritated) Stop jumping and sleep already.
Frank: (stop jumping) Alright then. Hold me tight.
Caro: Hey, that’s my line!
Frank: Heheheh, I know.
Andrea’s room…
Andrea: (talking on the phone) Yes Giles, I’m fine.
Giles: Are you sure?
Andrea: Duh!
Sharon and Gavin’s room…
Gavin: (flirtatiously) Shall we?
Sharon: (flirtatiously) Shall we what?
Gavin: You know…
Sharon: Oh right. Ready whenever you are…
Gavin: Alright! (jumping on Sharon that was on the bed)
Frank: Damn! We’re late! We gotta hurry! (putting on his pants)
Caro: (applying make-up) We’re only leaving when I get this make-up done.
Frank: We don’t exactly have time for that!
Caro: Oh, but we do. I’m done. (looking at Frank’s shirtless body) But you’re not. I have an idea! Why don’t you go downstairs like this?
Frank: With jeans and nothing else?
Caro: Why not? My man’s sexy…
Frank: Hehehe. (looking at his abs) You know, you’re right.
Caro: Hmph! Show-off!
Frank:
In the lobby…
Sharon: Where are they?
Jim: (looking impatiently at his watch) What’s taking them so long?
Andrea: Knowing them, they’re probably smooching and will get into bed soon enough.
Sharon, Jim and Gavin stared at Andrea.
Andrea: What?
Sharon: It is unethical, dear.
They waited another 5 minutes when suddenly they heard some girls gasping behind them.
Sharon: What’s up with…OMG!
Caro and Frank walked up to them. Frank was, well, shirtless.
Andrea: Wow, Frank! You look extremely…bare today.
Frank: (parading himself in front of the sisters) Do you like it?
Caro: Hehehe, it was my idea.
Jim: Figures.
Gavin: Frank, it’s not exactly a good idea to be shirtless in a limo.
Frank: Why not?
Gavin: Because it’s a limo…
Jim: Anyway, great fashion statement. It’s hot here anyway. Perhaps I should do the same thing.
Female fan: (from somewhere) Yes you should! Then get into my bed and I’ll undress the rest of you and give you the time of your life!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Jim:
Gavin: I think we should get out of here…