|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
Chauffer: *whistles* Here’s the place. Whose house is this?
Caro: Our uncle.
Chauffer: Your uncle must be really loaded.
Andrea: With what?
Sharon: Money, dear…
Andrea: Oh yeah, he is.
Jim: Right. Off we go, then. Tell your boss thanks. Oh, and give him
this card. In it is our cell-phone numbers.
Chauffer: Okay. Can I call too?
Frank: (winking at Andrea) Sure you can.
Andrea:
Chauffer: Thanks. It’s nice to know you guys. I’d better be off now.
See ya.
Corrs and family: Bye!
The chauffer sped off.
Jim: Right. Now a call to Bono.
Meanwhile…
Bono: Where are those people? They are soooo late!
Then, his phone rings.
Bono: Who is it now? Hello?
Jim: (on the phone) Hi Bono. It’s me Jim.
Bono: Darn, man! Where are you right now?
Jim: We’re still stuck in nowhere.
Bono: What?!
Jim: Heheheh, we’re outside your gate.
Bono: Thankfully. Now, is there anybody outside there besides you and
the rest of your family?
Jim: (looking around) No, not at all.
Bono: Alright then. I’ll be out in no time.
Jim: Hurry.
Sharon: *yawn*
Andrea: Hmmm…you haven’t had a good night’s sleep?
Caro: Or were you up doing something else?
Sharon:
Gavin: Umm…classified information.
Jim: Ah, the husband speaks up…
Frank: Then we know for sure what happened…
Sharon and Gavin:
Bono: Hi all. (opening the gate) C’mon in!
Andrea: Umm…Bono, aren’t you least bit surprised at anything?
Bono: Umm…what is there to be surprised at?
Andrea eyed Frank’s bare chest.
Bono: (pointing at Frank) Him?
Sharon: Yes, him.
Bono: It’s normal here. Besides, it’s hot.
Caro: See, I told you.
Sharon and Andrea:
Jim: So, why did you call us?
Bono: We’ll talk after breakfast. I trust you haven’t had any yet…
Frank: (stomach rumbling) Oops.
Sharon: You’re right, Bono. Since it was just a half-an-hour’s ride
to your place, we thought we’d take breakfast here…
Bono: Say no more. Everything’s prepared, thanks to Jim’s early call.
Alright, to the dining room, my friends!
They headed to Bono’s lavish dining room. When they were there, they
sat down and ate their already set breakfast.
Jim: So, Bono, why did you call us here for?
Bono: Ah, I’ve got a plan!
Andrea: Yeah, but what does the plan say?
Bono: Ohhhhhh, that…
Bono continues eating, leaving the others staring at him.
Bono: (looking up with a piece of sausage and some bread hanging out
of his mouth) What?
Caro: I think I’m going to be sick… (rushes to the toilet)
Bono: What happened to her?
Andrea: Uh, uh… morning sickness!
Bono: Wait a minute. Morning sickness?! Is Cazz pregnant?
Jim: Is that wrong for a married woman?
Bono: No…but how many months already?
Sharon: Four…
Bono: Not wrong, eh Jim?
Jim:
Caroline comes back, looking positively sick…
Andrea: (rushing to Caro’s side) Cazz, you okay?
Caro: (staggering) Yeah, I’m just feeling a bit demented.
Jim: In the key of F?
Caro: Grrrr…
Bono: Ah, the things an unplugged concert do to musicians… *bop* Ow!
Andrea: Bono, you have a hard head! (rubbing her hand)
Bono: Comes in the family. Anyway, let’s eat… (starts eating)
Sharon: But, the plan?
Bono: (stops eating) Shazz, stop worrying about the plan and worry
about getting a baby with Gavin, will you?
Sharon and Gavin:
Andrea: *giggle* Oh, but we know that Gavin is not impotent…
Sharon: Let’s all eat, please…
After they were watered and fed, The Corrs were directed into Bono’s
own home-built studio. Frank and Gavin stayed in the living room to play
‘Play Station 2’.
Andrea: My, I haven’t been here for ages…
Sharon: That’s the thing, dear. You’ve NEVER been here…
Andrea: Oh, right.
Bono: Here’s the studio. (opens the door)
The Corrs gasp. In there were many black musical instruments, a gift from Bono to them.
Sharon: Oh…
Caro: My…
Jim: Good…
Andrea: Gawd!
The Corrs went inside while Bono stayed outside for a bit… Meanwhile, The Corrs were picking up their instruments. There was a whole set of black tin whistles studded with silver linings for Andrea, a black electric violin with an exquisitely carved scroll for Sharon, a black drum kit with wooden drumsticks, a black-rimmed bodhran (‘the Corrs’ written on the kit, the drumsticks and the bodhran), and a pair of black drumming gloves for Caroline, a black bass guitar, a black electric guitar, a black acoustic guitar and a black keyboard for Jim, and a black grand piano (as you may have guessed) for the family to replace their old Steinway.
Bono: Hope you like it…
Andrea: Like it?!
Bono: Why, is there anything wrong?
Caro: Wrong?! There’s nothing wrong except that all this sure was worth
a fortune!
Bono: Yeah, but anything for my favourite band.
Jim: How ‘bout U2?
Bono: That’s my band, that’s why it doesn’t count. So, do you like
it?
Andrea: This…is…more…than…I…could…ever…dream…about…
Bono: *grins shyly*
Jim: Thanks, man. I’d never spend so much for something like this…
Girls: Yeah, from us too…
Silence followed for a while…
Bono: Well, aren’t you gonna play it?
Jim: Right… *picks up the guitar and attempts to tune it*
Bono: Ah no need to tune it, it’s already tuned.
Sharon: Bono, where did you get this from?
Bono: Ah, I got Timmy O’Neil to get this all done, except for the Steinway
and the keyboards.
Caro: Tim? Wasn’t he the guy we used to play with when we were young?
Andrea: And the one that Sharon used to have a crush on? *bop* Ow!
Bono: *grinning* Yep, he’s the same one.
Jim: Okay, you brought us here, and you gave us these instruments.
Now, what’s the plan really about?
All four Corr faces turned towards Bono…
Bono: *sigh* It’s no good hiding it from you anymore.
Caro: Duh!
Bono: Anyway, the plan… would you like to guess, Andrea?
Andrea: Uh, can’t. My FRAKG’s not working today…
Sharon: Huh?
Andrea: Far Reaching All Knowing Genius.
Bono: Anyway, back to the matter at hand…
Bono goes to one end of the room and gets a bag. Inside, he takes out 6 folders, 4 named after the siblings, the other two were named after Keith and Anto. Jim’s was a bit thicker.
Bono: Here. (passing out the folders) Jim, you can have Keith and Anto’s
one as well…
Andrea: Can we open it?
Bono: Oh no, you’re supposed to swallow it…
Andrea: Oh… (opens her mouth)
Sharon: Uh, don’t swallow it, Andrea. God knows what will happen next…
Bono: Well, go on! Open it!
The siblings opened the folder and found a few stacks of papers that had music notes in them.
Bono: They’re a few songs I wrote.
Caro: Bono, you do know that we write our own songs…
Bono: But this is for…
Jim: (cutting in) A duet with us, right?
Bono: Yeah.
Sharon: But we can’t perform in Florida all this songs. We need practice,
and Live In Florida is only 4 days away.
Bono: I’m not that knuckleheaded, you know…
Jim, Andrea and Caro: *giggle*
Sharon:
Bono: Aren’t you gonna do a gig in Dublin in a few weeks?
Corrs: Yeah.
Jim: What about it?
Bono: Since I haven’t performed in Ireland for a while, I was hoping
that perhaps I could go with you and perform there with you.
Sharon: Of course you can! Why in the world do you ask?
Bono: Sharon, if I don’t ask you now, when I turn up in Dublin wanting
to do a performance with you, you won’t be ready…
Jim, Andy, Caro: *laughs out loud*
Sharon:
Caro: It just ain’t your day, isn’t it, Sharon…
Sharon: Oh, just shut it!
Andrea and Caro: Whatcha gonna do if we don’t?
Jim: Uh… Haste To The Wedding, perhaps?
The three girls looked at him as if he was an alien from outer space.
Jim: What?!
Sharon: Jim, did you incidentally come from the planet Borg?
Andrea: Wait, to my knowledge, the planet Borg doesn’t exist.
Sharon: Andrea…
Andrea: Yes…
Sharon: Hush!
Jim: Huh?
Caro: Can’t you see that we’re in a middle of a fight?
Sharon: You don’t possibly want us to play music while we’re angry,
right?
Andrea: We were fighting?
Caro and Sharon: Andrea?
Andrea: Yes?
Caro and Sharon: (angrily) HUSH!
Jim: Bono wanted us to play, remember?
Bono: *laughing to himself*
The girls looked at each other…
Sharon: Oh…
Andrea: Okay, whistle…
Caro: Uh… 1, 2, 3…
They then played Haste To The Wedding, Lansdowne Road style with the exact same enthusiasm they had at the concert. At the end of the song, nobody had anything to complain about his or her instrument except Sharon…
Bono: Bravo, bravo! It’s been months since I’ve heard some good Irish
jamming!
Sharon: (unenthusiastically) Yeah, thanks…
Bono: Hey, what’s the matter?
Sharon: Oh, nothing…
Bono: There’s gotta be a problem somewhere, I know. What is it?
Sharon: Oh nothing. It’s just that this violin needs desperate seasoning.
Bono: It’s new, what do you expect? Besides, from what Gavin relates
to us about your version of an early morning wake-up call, I think it will
get all the seasoning it needs…
Andy, Caro and Jim: *laughing their heads off*
Sharon: How did you possibly know that?
Bono: Besides being one of my dormant lawyers, he’s also my very good
friend. We have this group named ‘Help and Support for Married Men’…
Sharon:
Caro: (whispering to Sharon) It still ain’t your day… *bop* Ow!