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Fourth of July
Caroline and Frank arrive at Dublin Park (It probably don't exist) sometime in the afternoon. The Corrs and The Orrs had decided it would be a good idea to watch the fireworks displays that day.
Frank: Where is your family?
Caro: Oh, they're probably not even here yet, if I know them well enough.
Caro Orr comes bounding up the hill.
Caro Orr: Cazz! Heyyy!!
Caro Orr stops when she sees Frank.
Caro Orr: Oooooh.... who's he? *acting cute*
Caro: Stop that! It's my fiancee Frank!
Caro Orr: Oh, right! Hehehe. Sorry.
Caro: You have Hank anyway.
Caro Orr: Yep, I love my Hank.
Frank: Did I miss something?
Caro: It's only just the beginning, babe. Let's go.
They bring a picnic basket down the hill to a nice big lawn full of grass and trees. They set up with the Orrs where the trees split, showing lots of the sky.
Caro: Frank, this is Hank. Hank, this is Frank.
Hank: Frank! *shakes hands*
Frank: Hank!
Frank looks his double up and down, then shakes his head and sits down. They do that at almost the same time.
Caro Orr: Make sure you've got something identifiable on yours before you leave.
Caro: Don't worry. He's got the big engagement band, remember?
Caro Orr: Oh yeah. The ENGAGEMENT BAND. *glares at Hank*
Caro: I see I've missed something too.
Jim Orr: Heads up!
Caro looks over at Jim Orr just in time to catch a frisbee... with her face.
*BOP*
Caro: Ow!! *bounces off* You idiot!!!!
Jim Orr: When someone says "heads up" you don't actually look up!
Caro kicks Jim Orr in the leg, then walks away holding her face. Caro Orr follows her.
Caro: Is there anything there? *shows her face*
Caro Orr: Nope, nothing, except for that really big red mark on your forehead.
Caro: WHAT?
Caro: Really, I'll show you.
They go up to Caro's car and look at the reflection in the windows.
Caro: Oh god! I haven't looked this bad since I was a teen! My head was just one big acne factory!
Caro Orr: Hey, you weren't alone.
Andrea pulls up in her Mercedes and climbs out the other door.
Caro: Drunk much?
Andrea: No, don't I wish? My door is jammed.
Caro Orr: Oh, well then. Where's your boyfriend Giles?
Andrea: He's busy right now. He might come later. Is Andrea bringing Niles?
Caro Orr: Of course, she drags him everywhere she can.
Andrea: I see, there's a difference. What's wrong with my Caroline?
Caro looks at her.
Andrea: My god! What happened to your head?
Caro: Jim Orr and his discus toss.
Andrea: Hmm. Well, it'll go away. It's a nice day out.
Caro: Yeah, it's blue. Swimmin' blue.
Andrea: Stop it.
They go back down the hill to join the Orrs. All of the Orrs are present. Sharon Orr is sitting up in a tree, gazing off into the distance. Jim Orr is still practicing his discus tossing, almost taking out a kissing couple nearby.
Andrea: Is Sharon Orr still worried?
Caro: I think so.
Caro Orr: Yah. She won't tell us anything.
Andrea looks up at Sharon Orr, who's still in the tree.
Andrea: Hi Sharon.
Sharon Orr waves quietly. Andrea begins climbing the tree like a monkey, straddling the trunk and going up a branch.
Andrea: What's wrong?
Sharon: Same old, same old.
Andrea: Do you want to talk about it?
Sharon: Not quite.
Andrea's now hanging only by her arms, swinging in the breeze.
Andrea: Are you sure? Because if you want to talk, I'm here for you. I'm the closest you have to your sister, and she's probably busy with Niles.
Sharon: Well, I'd love to talk about it. But it's just that I can't talk about it with anyone but Jim right now.
Andrea: Well, if I see Jim, I'll let him know, okay?
Sharon: Okay.
Suddenly, Andrea feels her feet getting pulled. She looks down to see Giles.
Andrea: Giles! There you are! Why are you trying to pick me off this tree? I'm not Apple Corr!
Andrea Orr: That's Niles.
Andrea: Oh. Well then. Stop looking up my dress then.
Andrea Orr: Yeah! *bops him*
Niles: What, I wasn't looking up her dress! I was trying to pull her out of the tree.
Andrea: Well you won't get me out, you might get me shoes, but you won't get me.
Niles continues to pull at Andrea's feet. Andrea reaches out, grabs an apple, and tosses it at him.
Andrea: Shoo! Shoo! Go away!
Niles and Andrea Orr run as Andrea lets loose a barrage of apples.
Andrea: Haha! It worked!
Suddenly, Andrea is jerked out of the tree and lands on the ground with a thud.
Andrea: Ow!
Jim: Hey. Come help with the barbecue stuff.
Andrea: Jim! Oh... okay. Wait, Sharon Orr needs to talk to you...
Sharon Orr hops down from the tree and trots off in the other direction.
Andrea: Or not... okay then.
They go up to Jim's car and get the barbecue stuff, which is a couple bags of charcoal and several cases of hamburger and hot dogs. Sharon arrives as they're doing this.
Sharon: Look out, there's a paparazzi man in the bush over there.
Andrea: Oh well, can't stop them, can you? Come help us with this stuff.
Sharon: I'd like to, but I'm on a lazy diet. I can't do any strenuous activity, it's fattening.
Andrea: WHAT????
Sharon: Never mind... I'll help.
They return to the park with the barbecue supplies. Caroline already has a barbecue pit going, with a little bit of fire.
Jim: Oh come on, that's not a fire. Sharon wouldn't be able to light her cigarette on that.
Sharon: You mean Sharon Orr. Who, by the way, had better stop smoking if she's pregnant with your baby.
Jim: Shh! Don't talk about that right now. Caroline, get away from there.
Caro: What? I already have it going!
Jim: No, this isn't a fire. I'll show you how it's done.
Jim goes to another barbecue and pours some charcoal in, then brings out a can of gasoline as if from nowhere.
Andrea: Jim, what the heck is the gasoline for?
Jim: To start the fire!
Caroline hands Jim a can of lighter fluid.
Jim: No, no. Get that crap away from me, that's not going to work. I'm gonna start a real fire. Watch this. Now here's a fire.
Jim pours half the can of gasoline into the pit, then takes out a match.
Jim: Alright, alright, now THIS is how it's done.
Jim strikes the match, then tosses it in.
Across the park, with Sharon Orr...
Sharon Orr is staring at the sky, watching the birds quietly. Up above, a mother bird feeds worms to her babies.
*BOOOOOOOOM*
The birds in the trees go insane, and Sharon Orr jumps up.
Sharon Orr: Lord! What was that?
She sees a huge bonfire where the campground is. She runs over in a hurry.
Caro: There, roll Jim around there. There you go.
Andrea and Sharon are rolling Jim across the ground. His clothes are charred and his face is covered in soot.
Sharon Orr: OH MY GOD! What happened to Jim?
Jim Orr: I don't know. He totally melted my frisbee though.
Jim coughs.
Jim: Now THERE'S a fire.
Sharon Orr kicks Jim and runs off.
Jim: What's her problem?
Jim gets up and dusts him off.
Andrea: Jim, this fire is too big. Look, it almost killed you!
Jim: So? We almost drink ourselves to death when we party, we take risks every day.
Andrea: Well this is different. You almost blew yourself up. And look at the fire, it's rediculous! We're cooking burgers and franks, not Brontosaurus burgers!
Caro: Hey! Don't talk about cooking Frank... hehehe.
Jim: Calm down. Just let me take care of the fire.
Sharon: Okay then, just don't singe off your eyebrows.
Hours later, Jim has at least thirty burgers cooked, with many more to go.
Jim: Want another Frank, Andrea?
Andrea: No, no. Any more and I'll gain a pound.
Caro: Pass one over here.
Sharon follows Sharon Orr around.
Sharon: Sharon, it's been hours. Why won't you tell me what's going on?
Sharon Orr: Because I can't! I know you know about the whole pregnancy thing, but I can't tell you.
Sharon: Well then you have to be pregnant, if you're not telling me. If you weren't you wouldn't be hiding it.
Sharon Orr: It's not that. I can only tell Jim, that's the thing. I don't want the secret getting out.
Sharon: Okay, so you ARE pregnant.
Sharon Orr: I really don't want to talk about it. Please, just wait, Sharon. You'll find out later.
Sharon: Okay... *rolling eyes*
Caro: Hey look! They're doing the fireworks!
A brilliant burst of blue lights up the sky. Blue shards fly everywhere with a boom.
Andrea: Hehehe that's pretty. *sigggh*
Caroline and Frank cuddle up under a blanket to watch the fireworks. Gavin goes and finds Sharon, and they join Caro and Frank. Caro Orr and Hank also add up to the group of watchers.
Andrea: This sucks...
Andrea Orr and Niles go by, holding hands. Andrea pounds her head on the table.
Sharon Orr walks over to Jim quietly.
Sharon Orr: Hi, Jim.
Jim: Hi. You've sure been hiding all day.
Sharon Orr: Well, I'm sorry. Sorry for kicking you, I shouldn't have gotten mad.
Jim: It's okay. So, what's up? Did you talk to the doctor...?
Sharon Orr: Yes. And...

Minutes later, Jim jumps about ten feet in the air.
Jim: I'M A FATHER! I'M A FATHER!! WOOOHOOOO!
Sharon Orr: Jim, JIM! Would you stop that for a second?
Jim: But you just told me! You just said you're pregnant!
Sharon: Well, I am. But it's not yours.
Jim: What... it's not?
Sharon: No... it's Niles'.
Andrea Orr's eyes bug out.
Andrea Orr: WHAT??????
Sharon Orr: Remember Mother's Day? When you all went to see mum and I missed the cab and couldn't make it, and neither could Niles?
Andrea Orr jumps up and kicks Niles in his favorite spot.
Andrea Orr: You JERK! YOU ASS!!!
Andrea: Ahh... well, now this is all better. *evil grin*
Jim: But Sharon... what are you going to do?
Sharon Orr: I don't know... I don't really want a baby. I think I might give it up for adoption.
Jim: Adoption? But... but... what if it was ours?
Sharon Orr: That would be different. Because I'd want YOUR baby, not his. And I have a feeling Andrea doesn't want his either.
Andrea Orr: Pig!! Scoundrel!!!
Andrea Orr picks up a barbecue fork. Niles takes off running, Andrea Orr in pursuit.
Caro: Ahh, don't you love the romance? *smooch*
Caro Orr: Hey wait.... Hank, where'd you get this engagement band?
Caro: Hey.... WAIT A SECOND! YOU'RE NOT FRANK!!!!
Frank and Hank: Aha! Got you!!!!
Both Carolines get up and kick Frank and Hank angrily.
Andrea: Ah, well, this night is oh so much good now.
Sharon Orr and Jim hug each other, then kiss.
Jim: So you still want to stay together, right?
Sharon: Well, I think right now it'd be best if we didn't... at least until I have Niles' baby. Then we'll see.
Andrea Orr and Niles run by, Andrea still holding the barbecue fork.
The rest of them join the two disgruntled Carolines, who are sitting next to their respective significant others.
Jim Orr: Boy, I really don't have anyone, do I?
Andrea Orr and Niles make another pass, Niles yelling for Andrea Orr to please stop.
Sharon Orr: Andrea, stop it. It's not his baby.
Andrea Orr: It's not... what?
Sharon Orr: It's really Jim's.
Jim: Wait... this isn't another weird thing, is it? Is it really my baby?
Sharon Orr: I'm not pregnant, Jim. I was just kidding you.
Jim jumps up in the air again.
Jim: Woohooo!!!! I'M NOT A FATHER!!! WOOOHOOOOO! I'M STILL FREE!
Andrea Orr: Awww.... Baby. I'm sorry.
Andrea: Dammit, and just when I thought this was getting good. *drinks a Guinness*
Jim Orr who's sitting right next to Andrea, leans close.
Jim: Wow, those fireworks sure are beautiful. *reaches over to put his arm around Andrea*
Andrea: Don't even try it, bucko.
Jim Orr: Damn.
The End