Hawaii The Continuation

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Hours and hours later, at the beach, with the rest of the Corr family...
Andrea: Almost done with this wall!
Caro: You could almost live in this thing!
Andrea and Caroline's sandcastle has reached massive proportions, with arches and turrets, windows, towers, even stairways. And Jim is still trapped underneath.
Jim: Why do I suddenly feel like Gulliver?
Andrea: Hehehe oh no!! The giant has awoken!
Jim: Arrgh! And now I shall rise and destroy your fortress!
Andrea and Caro: NO! Stop it!
Jim: *sigh* Fine, I could use the tan. SHARONNNNNNN!!!!!!
Andrea looks out at the sea.
Andrea: Uh oh, looks like a big wave. Look out!
Andrea and Caroline take off up the beach, leaving Jim trapped under the castle.
Jim: Wait!!! What about me?
*FWOOSHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSOOWF*
Jim: AGGH! *hack* *cough*
Andrea and Caroline come back.
Andrea: Are you okay, Jim?
Jim: Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little salty.
Caro: BOHICA.
Andrea: Huh?
Caro: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.
Andrea and Caro run off, again leaving Jim trapped underneath their castle.
*FWOOSHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSOOWF*
Andrea and Caro come back.
Andrea: Okay?
Jim: *hack* God!
Caro: Well, this one looks smaller. Our castle did pretty well.
Andrea: Yah, it's a sand fortress.
Another wave comes in, but it's not nearly as bad as the others. Jim is only up to his ears in water.
Sharon: Hey.
Andrea and Caro look up.
Caro: Where the hell have you been?
Sharon: Out to sea.
Andrea: Huh. Anything happen?
Sharon: Not much, just stood on top of a reef for a few hours. Rode back in on the shark that bit Jim.
Jim: WHAT??
Sharon wasn't lying. The shark had once again beached itself, and it was only a few feet away from his head, snarling. It had a few missing front teeth.
Jim: WHAAAAAGH!!! Land shark!
Andrea: Hahaha!
Jim stands up quickly, knocking down half of the sand fortress.
Andrea and Caro: Awww man!!!!!
Hopping on his one good foot, Jim picks up his crutches and smacks the shark with one.
Jim: You stupid fish!! Why don't you leave me alone??? See, I have a necklace made from a bunch of your teeth! What are you gonna DO about it?
Jim looks further up on the beach to see a few people in Greenpeace t-shirts staring at him.
Jim: Em.... heh heh heh... sisters, help me move this darling shark. Such a pretty thing. *pats the shark on its hammer head*.
Andrea and Caro: But we're working!
Jim: *clears throat loudly* Sisters, this poor shark is dying!
Andrea: Well, get your friends over there to help you!
Jim looks at the Greenpeace people, who are still glaring at him.
Another big wave comes in, lifting the shark a bit. Jim pushes the shark with the end of his crutch and shoves it, sending the shark swimming back out into the receding waves.
Jim: There. Can't get me for that! :P *at Greenpeace people*
The shark swims on for about a hundred more feet before it slams into the side of Coast Guard speedboat, and sinks out of view.
Jim: Em...
The Greenpeace people walk away, angry.
Jim: Aw man!!
Sharon winds up and throws her ball of sand at Andrea's head, but Andrea ducks just in time to avoid it.
Andrea: Nice throw, Sharon Sosa!
Sharon: Rrgh!
Andrea laughs and hides behind the fortress, then proceeds to make another sand ball. Just as she stands up to throw it, Sharon shoves a big handful of wet sand right into Andrea's mouth.
Andrea: NfffffggghH!! *ptoo* Whaaggh! Aggh!
Sharon: Haha! About time!
Andrea stumbles away, trying to spit out the dirt. The dirt crunches beneath her teeth and goes down her throat.
Andrea: *hack * Gaah!
Jim: I am the lizard king!!!
Jim comes stumbling up, dropping his crutches clumsily as he leans back against the sand fortress, which is too strong to fall in. Sharon pelts him with a few sand balls right to the chest.
Sharon: You're pissed, aren't you?
Jim: Me? Pizzed? *burp* I'm not pizzed at all.
Sharon: I mean drunk. What happened to your hollow legs?
Jim: The shark ate it. HA!!!
Sharon laughs a bit. Andrea continues to spit out the dirt from her mouth.
Jim: SHARONNNNNNN!!!!!
Sharon: What, Ozzy?
Jim: I goddageddanuther drink...
Sharon: I think you've had enough for tonight.
Jim: Nonthenth!!! I could geddanuther good mugga San Miguel right about nowwww...
Andrea: Hey, he sounds even worse than I do when I'm drunk. *ptoo*
Sharon: Enjoy your sand-wich, Andrea?
Andrea: Delicious. (spits sand at Sharon)
Jim: Wherez muh thithter?
Sharon: Eh?
Jim gets up again, swaggering. The effects of the alcohol keep him from feeling pain from his bitten leg, which he is now standing on normally.
Jim: Where my sister at?
Andrea: Which one? *ptoo*
Jim: Cazza.
Sharon: Oh. She's with her drumming group. I think they're doing a hula cermony somewhere around here. That could be a cool thing to see.
Andrea: Yah. I could use some dancing. *ptoo*
Jim: Whaaa the moon is hitting the ocean again.
Sharon: First I think we need to put Jimmy here to bed. I don't think he's safe to be out in public.
Jim: Haha! Out in pubic. You're funny, Sharon.
Sharon: Out in puh-BLIC. Public.
Jim: Hahaha!!!!
Sharon and Andrea go to the hula anyway, sitting Jim near a buffet table where he can get coffee, stuff his face, and not hurt anyone with his antics. Then they take seats at an empty table decorated with many tropical fruits, the dominant one being pineapple.
Andrea: Hey look, there's Caroline!
Ten tribal drummers are onstage, Caroline being one out of only three women. There is something very unusual about her wardrobe, though.
Andrea: That's a really tight shirt she's wearing.
Sharon: You know, that doesn't look like a shirt.
Andrea: Well what could it... oh no.
Caroline's shirt is made entirely from paint.
Sharon and Andrea freak out.
Sharon: CAROLINE! CAROLINE!!!
Andrea: I can see your boobs, Caroline!
Jim: I can see'um too!!! HAHA!!
Andrea: No Jim, her shirt is made from paint!
Jim: Cool! I want one!!! I want a shirt with boobs on it!!
Sharon: You have to admit... it's an interesting design. You can't see much if you don't look too close.
Andrea: That's really, really BAD! Mom would kill her!
Sharon: She'd kill you for running around in a bathing suit in public, too.
Andrea: Ugh.
A big Hawaiian man starts shrieking and whooping, and several others join in. Caroline and her drumming group starts to drum loudly with a ferocious tribal beat.
Jim: Whoaaa! Rock on!!
Several female hula girls come onto the stage, grass skirts and all.
Andrea: Even THEY'RE more dressed than Caroline is!
Sharon: Shh!
The girls do their ancient dance, the drumbeat creating a tremendous heat in everyone's heart. Caroline is going insane on the drums, as usual.
Andrea: I hope that paint doesn't sweat off.
After at least an hour of playing the drums, Caroline finally is able to get off the stage and meet her sisters. Andrea goes insane the first chance she gets.
Andrea: I can't believe you're wearing only paint!
Caroline: Well, at least I'm wearing pants.
Andrea: Eh, yah. That's a relief.
Caro: So did you like the show?
Sharon: Loved it. I never thought a Hula could have so much power in it.
Andrea: Yah, you did great, "Caroline, The Really White One".
Jim stumbles over.
Jim: Heyyyy... who's the chick?
Andrea: It's Caroline.
Jim tries to stand up straight and fixes his hair.
Jim: (to Caro) How you doin'?
Sharon: Jim, it's Caroline!
Jim: Yah, I know what her name be... is. How's it goin'?
Jim gets a little too close to Caroline.
Caro: Okay, back up just a little bit, Jim.
Jim: Hey, she *hic* knows my name!
Sharon: Yes, she does. That's because she's your sister, you blockhead.
Jim: Heyyyyy who are you callin' a blockhead?
Andrea: You, blockhead.
Jim: Well here's what I think a'that. *picks up an open pineapple*
Sharon gives Jim a funny look.
Sharon: What are you gonna do? Pineapple me to death?
Jim wheels back, aiming right for Sharon, but his impaired vision from being drunk causes him to miss and nail Caroline right in the chest with the open end of the pineapple, getting juice all over her.
Andrea: Oh no!
Caro: Oh, it's okay. This paint is pretty resilient.
A woman in a hula outfit attempts to walk right through the Corr family's conversation, and while doing so trips over Andrea's foot and causes several alcoholic beverages in plastic cups to pour all over Caroline.
Caro: AGGH! Alcohol!!!
Jim: Look! Boobs! *bop*
Caroline runs away, covering herself with her arms as her body paint slowly melts away. Andrea and Sharon stare at their brother.
Jim: What're you lookin' at me for? I had nothin' to do with that. I'm an innocent as a cockyroach.
Andrea: Uh-huh. Right.
Sharon: I think we should get you home, alcohol boy.
Jim: Nuh-uh! This is a hula! Hooola hooola!!! Let's party! *grabs Andrea*
Andrea: Em... ok.
Sharon: What?
Andrea: Don't worry, I've danced with drunken men before.
Andrea and Jim go over to the dance floor, Sharon in tow.
Sharon: Em... how do you expect Jim to dance with his crutches?
Andrea: Whoops.... that's right. Wow, I'm drunk already and I didn't even take a sip.
Jim: Huh?? Where am I?
Sharon: Okay, that's it. Jim's going back to the hotel for once. Let's go.
Andrea and Sharon drag Jim back to the hotel, which is difficult because he's drunk and frisky.
Sharon: If he touches my boob again...
Andrea: Don't worry, we're almost there. He won't remember a thing he touched.
Jim: Whaa? *grabs Andrea's ass*
Andrea: *slap* STOP THAT!
Jim: Hahaha...
They pile into an elevator and ride up to the floor, Jim burping the whole way.
Sharon: Oh god... that stench is going to kill me. What the hell did you drink anyway, Jim?
Jim: I hadda lodda beerz and a techhhheeela and just a coupla rums and coke-is-sis-sis...
Andrea: He's more hammered than Dad got when he found out that Mammy fancied Bono.
Sharon: No kidding?
Andrea: I saw him down three pints of Guinness in less than an hour. He made me flip the channels on the TV like Jim used to do to Caroline.
Sharon: Huh. The things we don't know about our father...
Andrea: The things we didn't know about our mother! Bono?
Sharon: Ewwww....
Andrea: I mean don't get me wrong, Bono's good and all, but Mammy?
Sharon: I don't wanna think about that.
Jim: I do!!! HAHAHA!!! *grabs both Andrea's and Sharon's ass*
*SLAP*
Red-faced and confused, Jim Corr is dragged out of the elevator by his sisters, too drunk to even move his legs.
Andrea: Where's the key?
Sharon: Here, let me get it.
Sharon lets go of Jim to get the key card out of his pocket. Andrea isn't strong enough to hold Jim up, so she lets him slump against the door.
Jim: Uggghhh...
Sharon: Hey, these shorts of his don't have pockets.
Andrea: What?? Jim, you locked yourself out of your room, dummy! *kick*
Sharon: I'll go through my room. It has an adjoining door.
They leave Jim lying there in the hallway and go through Sharon's room. When they get through Jim's room and open the door, he's not there.
Andrea: Okay, where'd he crawl off to?
Sharon You got me.
Thinking that Jim had crawled into Sharon's room, they go back into her room but find nobody. Back out in the hall, they find Jim lying there again.
Sharon: Huh?
Andrea: That's odd.
Andrea looks back through the adjoining door, at the open door to Jim's room. Jim is not lying there, but when looking through Sharon's door, he is.
Sharon: What the blazes?
Andrea: I think it's some sort of universal paradox, a ripple in the space-time continuum that is causing us to see a rather unique visual affect.
Sharon: Andrea...
Andrea: Yes?
Sharon: Hush!
Sharon goes out to the hall to find the door to "Jim's room" closed.
Sharon: Here's your "paradox", Andrea. He doesn't have an adjoining room!
Andea: Okay, well, you're wrong then. You were the one who said he had an adjoining room.
Sharon: I... well... I... shut up!
Andrea goes back through Sharon's room and looks out the open door of the adjoining room. Now she can't see Sharon or Jim in the hall at all. There is nothing in the hall.
Andrea: Sharon?
Sharon: Yah?
Andrea: Are you still standing at the door of your room?
Sharon: Duh!
Andrea: Well then why the hell can't I see you or Jim?
Sharon sighs loudly and enters the open door of the adjoining room, bumping into an invisible Andrea.
Andrea and Sharon: What the hell?
Andrea: Can you see me?
Sharon: No! *scared* Can you see me?
Andrea: No! Quick, go back through your room door.
Sharon gets out and goes back through her room. She now can see Andrea, and Andrea sees her.
Andrea: What did I tell you? Paradox!
Sharon: Well okay. How do we get rid of it?
Andrea: Get rid of it? You want to get rid of it? Think of the possibilities... people can't see you, you can sneak around...
Sharon: You can't see people, either. I wonder how many people have died in something like that?
Andrea: I think we should go through anyway and check things out.
Sharon: Well what if it's not there when we get back? We'll be trapped forever in your litle paradoxial world with no way to escape!
Andrea: Sharon, my world may be hopeless, it may be dark, but it's NOT paradoxial.
Sharon: That's not what I meant...
Andrea: Well then, you stay here and make sure it stays like this. I'm going out.
Sharon: Out?? But...
Andrea leaves Sharon and heads downstairs, not seeing anyone, but hearing EVERYTHING. All around her, people are still going about their lives, and she bumps into a lot of invisible people.

Andrea: Whoa, watch it... *bump*
Voice: Did you feel that?
Another voice: Feel what?

A luggage cart with no visible means of locomotion comes right at Andrea, and she dodges as it rolls by.

Andrea: *thinking* Well that's just great. I can't SEE anyone. What fun is that?

Andrea heads out into the street, watching cars drive by with nobody behind the wheel, hot dogs floating in the air served by invisible vendors, and baby carriages rolling by with no babies in them.

Caroline enters Sharon's room to find Jim lying on the bed, as drunk as the common Irishman. She goes over to him and slaps him right in the face.

Jim squints at Caroline, his vision blurry for two reasons: He's drunk, and one of his contacts have fallen out. He looks at Caroline with one eye.

Caro: *slap* Keep away from those!
Sharon: (in the bathroom) Caroline, is that you?
Caro: Yah, it's me. You have a drunken moron in your room, Sharon.
Sharon and Caro: No, that's just Jim.
Caro: Jinx. You owe me a soda.
Sharon: Dammit!

Sharon comes out of the bathroom, towels wrapped around her body and head, and smelling heavily of coconut.

Caro: Mmmm, now that's a good smell. Where's Andrea?
Sharon: She's walking around in a paradox that's occuring in the front door of the adjoining room.
Caro: Well, that's good. *turns on TV*

Andrea: (thinking) I have to have fun somehow. *shoves the gum into her bikini top*

Clerk: Did you just see that?
Manager: See what?
Clerk: I just saw four packs of Juicy Fruit disappear into thin air.
Manager: You've been smoking that stuff again, haven't you?
Clerk: No, I swear! Just keep watching the gum.

The clerk and manager stare at the gum rack while Andrea walks away and goes to the back of the store to where the bottled drinks are. She picks up a Rain Snapple and proceeds to drink heavily, the white grapes reminding her of wine.

Andrea: (thinking) Hmm, now there's an idea. Sharon would be mad, but...
Manager: I don't see anything.
Clerk: I swear! I saw them fly into midair and vanish!

Andrea: (thinking) Hmm, about a 7, that one.
Clerk: Did you hear that?
Manager: Yeah. Is someone back there?

The two workers go back into the beverage aisle, but see nothing. The manager notices an empty bottle of Snapple on the floor.

Manager: Someone drank this! I told you to watch the store!
Clerk: I did watch the store! Nobody's been back here all day!

Andrea slips around the two, and while doing so a pack of gum manages to work its way out of her bikini top and lands on the floor.

Hurriedly, Andrea picks up the pack of gum and shoves it back into her bikini top. In doing so, the other three fall out and hit the floor.

Andrea picks up the other three packs of gum and shoves them down her bikini bottom, reminding herself that only she shall be eating these.

Andrea makes her way back to the front of the store, looking to cause more mischief. She reaches over the counter, and using her knowledge of cash machines, opens up the cash drawer with a clang.

The two store workers come back to the front of the store to find the cash register open, and money flying everywhere!

Andrea grabs some more gum and starts throwing the packs at the clerk and manager, her fingers smarting.

Andrea grabs a pack of cigarettes and begins to throw cigarette after cigarette at the two. The clerk lunges at what he thinks is the air, but it's actually Andrea. Andrea gets out of the way just in time and throws the whole pack at the clerk.

Before leaving, Andrea picks up a shopping basket and tosses it at the clerk. She then runs out into the street, almost getting hit by several cars, which don't even stop.

Andrea takes the elevator up, psyching out several hotel dwellers, who watch as the elevator activates all by itself and goes up.

On the floor at which the Corrs are staying, a housekeeping lady shuts the door to the adjoining room.

Caroline and Sharon look at the door to the room, not seeing Andrea. Andrea can't see them, either.

Andrea: I'm right here! Go open the door in the other room.
Sharon: *sigh* Fine, I guess I have to do everything.

Sharon: Come on!
Andrea: I did come on! Here I am!
Sharon: No you're not, I don't see you.
Andrea: Sharon!!!!
Sharon: What?
Andrea: You were supposed to keep the door open!!
Sharon: I did!
Andrea: Now I'm still invisible!
Sharon: Here, go back out into the hall. I'll try it again.

Andrea goes back out into the hall and stands in front of the door. Sharon slams the door and opens it to find Andrea.

Sharon: Hey, that's cool. *slam* Now you see her... *slam* Now you don't... *slam* Now you see her... *slam* Now you don't. Hey, we could make money off of this. *slam* Now you see her...

Andrea gets through the door and shoves Sharon out into the hall, slamming the door. She opens it again and finds Sharon to be invisible.

Andrea: Ohhh, guess who's invisible now?
Sharon: Funny, funny. Now slam the door again.

Andrea: Em... *slam* I think we broke it.
Sharon: What do you mean WE? You were slamming the door!
Andrea: You did it first! *slam*

Caroline comes into the room and looks at the door. She bursts into laughter in a similar fashion as Andrea.

Sharon: WHAAAGH! My face! My beautiful face! And my body!! My beautiful body!!! What have you done to me????
Andrea: I like you this way. It makes me feel really good about myself.
Sharon: Switch me back, you cow!
Andrea: Oh, fine. Quit 'yer bellyachin'.

Andrea leads Sharon back out into the hall and slams the door. Sharon is now ten feet tall and even thinner than Andrea.

Caro: Well, now Sharon can play basketball for a living.
Sharon: And I can also kick your arse, Cazz. *bang*
Andrea: You'll keep hitting your head on doorways, too.

Andrea leads Sharon over to the mirror again. Sharon has to lean over just to see her face.

Sharon: My head looks like a pin! Rrgh... okay, I'm going to go back into the hall. Don't stop slamming that damn door until I'm my regular self.

Andrea: Can you see her?
Caro: Let me get the magnifying glass... don't breathe in so much near her.

Caro: Jiiiim!
Jim: Eh? *burp*
Jim is lying on the bed lazily, still watching the TV.

Caro and Andrea come back into the room. Andrea is holding something in her hand.

Caro: You know some voodoo people, right? We need some help.
Jim: Well *burp* I've been tryin' to tell ya that for years.
Caro: Not that kind of help. We need you to get someone to transform Sharon back to original size.
Jim: W w w w... wait, isn't she normally oversized?
Andrea: Whoa!

Jim: Heeeyyy look at the cute toy! I didn.... *burp* know that Shazz'sss doll could move. *picks up Sharon*
Sharon: You feckin' loser! Put me down!
Jim: It talks, too!

Sharon: Ow! Watch it!
Caro: This is Sharon, Jim. The paradox changed her size and now we can't get her back to original size.
Andrea: I know. It's a good thing she isn't original size. Look how miffed she is. *looks at Sharon closely*

Andrea: Hey!!!
Sharon: I'm little but I'll still kick some arse.
Caro: You feel sober enough to go out into the town, Jim? There has to be some kind of voodoo person here in Hawaii. Maybe a native voodoo person.
Jim: I dunno, I mean I found Soontani by accident and I've never seen voodoo people since.
Caro: Well at least try! We have to do something!
Jim: Wellll *burp* why doncha just keep slamming that door until she's back to normal?
Andrea: I don't think it works anymore. And all that slamming was giving me a headache.

Sharon: YOU a headache? Try hearing all that slamming when you're less than an inch tall!
Andrea: I could probably search the internet. Maybe we're in a certain point in time where the paradox fades out, and it'll come back.
Sharon: Andrea!!!
Andrea: What?
Sharon: HUSH!!!
Caro: You? Search the internet?
Jim: Ahhh that's where I come in. *burp*

Andrea: Jim, we're not looking for porn, we're looking for paradox information!
Jim: Eh? Heh... oh. Okay. *types away at his Laptop* Just press the next buttons and read the results.
Andrea: Well where are you going?
Jim: I godda pee. *burp*

Sharon: That reminds me. How am I gonna do that in my state of size?
Caro: Em... we get a bunch of little plastic cups and tear up some little tiny squares of toilet paper.
Sharon: Is that supposed to be amusing?
Caro: Calm down, Shazz! We'll think of something.
Sharon: Sorry, but if you were as tall as an action figure, you'd be angry too.

Even with Andrea's limited computer knowledge, she is able to search through several search engines on Jim's laptop, looking up various aspects on inter-dimensional pardoxes.
Andrea: Hey, Paradox Watch dot com actually has a tracking system. The next one's scheduled for tomorrow night!
Caro: Really? Wow, why's that?
Andrea: Well, I suppose they calculate the allignment of the stars and compare the magnetic attributes of the Earth in comparison to other galaxies and their shifts in light and magnetism.

Sharon: Andrea!
Andrea: Yes?
Sharon: Hush!!!!
Andrea: Actually, I can do something about that now. (hops off chair and gets a plastic glass)
Sharon: (wide eyed) Oh no you don't! Get away from me with that thing!

Sharon: Wmph ooid iff! Edd id aff oha ee!
Andrea: Hehehe, take THAT. Tell me to hush anymore, bah!
Sharon: How oo oo efept meea bweve?
Andrea: Sorry, I can't understand you.

Andrea gives Sharon the cold shoulder and goes back to the laptop. Caroline playfully taps the glass.

Sharon: God it's hot in here. Andrea!!!!! Get this thing off of me!
Caro: What are you looking at now?
Andrea: Em, nothing. *closes laptop*
Caro: You're looking for porn!!!
Andrea: No I'm not!

Caroline goes over to fight the laptop out of Andrea's arms. It wouldn't normally be a tough job for Caroline, being that she's buffed out, but Andrea has a very long reach which makes things tough.

Andrea: No! *clutches laptop*
Caro: Let me see! Let me see it!
Andrea: No!!
Caro: Don't hide it! I know what you're looking at!

Caroline finally succeeds in getting the laptop out of Andrea's grasp and opens it.

Jim ignores his tittilated sisters and takes a look at the plastic glass on the nightstand.

Andrea manages to pull her eyes away from the laptop screen and sees Jim undressing their miniaturized sister.

Caro: Dear god, what happened? *takes Sharon away from Jim*
Jim: Hey!! I was havin' fun with it. *burp*
Caro: Andrea, you cow! You gassed Sharon!
Andrea: I what?
Caro: You gassed Sharon! She's unconscious!
Andrea: I didn't think she'd suffocate!

Andrea: Oh my... I can't believe it. I killed Sharon! And I don't know whether or not I should laugh!
Caro: Shut up! It's not funny!
Andrea: I know, I just...
Caro: We have to get her breathing again. I can't perform CPR on something so small, though!
Andrea: Let me look it up. Maybe I can find something... *gets the laptop and types away* Let's see... CPR on kittens. This should work.
Caro: Let me see...

Caro: Andrea!!! This is for kittens! I need CPR for temporarily small people!!!
Andrea: Oh, you mean CPR for midgets.
Caro: Go the search engine and type in "CPR for Andrea Corr"!
Andrea: Hey now, that's not right...

Caro: Forgive me for this. *puts her lips on Sharon's and blows lightly*
Jim: Hehe all right!!!! Lesbians!!! *bop*

Jim: Get the paddlezz... let's shocker. Hehe.
Caro: Shut up! *blows more air*
Sharon: *hack* *hack*
Caro: She's alive! She's alivvvvvve!!
Sharon: Your breath smells like crap!! *hack*

Andrea: Yaaaay!
Sharon: I'm NOT speaking to you. *turns back to Andrea*
Andrea: You just did!
Sharon: I'm NOT speaking to you!

Sharon walks across the bed and goes back to the nightstand, picking up a hotel pen.

Later, Andrea, Sharon and Caroline are sitting on the bed watching the television. Andrea has an eyepatch on, having been poked in the eye by Sharon and her pen attack.

Sharon: Hey, I'm hungry.
Caroline: You're hungry?
Sharon: Um, yes.
Caro: We could call room service again.
Sharon: Why? Just give me some of your personal buffet!

Little Sharon points at the cart that had been brought up to the room. All of the contents were for Caroline, and all of the contents had been eaten by Caroline.

Caro: No!
Andrea: Oh please... it won't take much to feed her. She's got a much smaller belly now.
Sharon: I don't have a belly anyway! Because Caroline eats all the food!
Caro: Hehehehe... okay, I'll look.
Sharon: (looking at Andrea) The pirate look is good for you, by the way.
Andrea: Oh shut up! You were the one who poked me in the eye!
Sharon: I like your tattoos, too.

Andrea has many pen-drawn illustrations all over her body, including her face. Little anchors and birds can be seen up and down her arms.

Andrea: If I had depth perception, I'd hit you.
Sharon: You hit me and I'll sue you.
Andrea: *gasp* You wouldn't!
Sharon: Sure I would! That's why I married a barrister.

Caro: That's all I could scrounge up.
Sharon: What??? This watermelon-sized grape? I haven't eaten all day! Give me something else!
Andrea: Do what she says, or she'll tattoo you.
Sharon: I will! I have my pen right here!

Sharon: You know, Cazz, your arse looks huge at this height.
Caro: What?? Stop looking at my arse!
Sharon: No, it's a very nice arse, it's just... huge.
Andrea: What about mine?
Sharon: At this height you STILL have no arse, Andrea!
Andrea: That's not true! I have a GREAT arse! I can prove it, too.
Sharon: Andrea, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT do that.
Andrea: Okay, fine. Don't get mad at me just because you have cellulite.

Sharon: I do NOT!!!
Caro: Say what?
Sharon: I do NOT have cellulite!
Andrea: She's only getting angry because she does.
Sharon: I do NOT!

Caroline hands the pen back to Sharon, having turned it into a shish-kebab of grapes and strawberries.

Caro: There ya go. Eat up.
Sharon: I do NOT have cellulite. (pulls off a strawberry seed and throws it at Andrea)

Caro: Something wrong?
Sharon: I never knew strawberries were so... furry.
Caro: Hmm... never thought of it that way. *pushes strawberries away*

Caro: What was that, a half-hour pee?
Andrea: Huh? *turns head* Oh, it's Jim. I can't see you out of my left eye.
Jim: Har har harrrrrrrr.... pirate.
Andrea: Rggh! *tries to hit Jim but misses terribly*
Jim: I needanuther Guinness.
Caro: Uh UH. You're not having anything else to drink tonight, bub. I can barely understand you.
Jim: *points at Caroline* YAH! But you never understand me. *burp*
Caro: Besides, I don't want you feeling up little Sharon anymore.

Jim: Where she be?
Caro: No! Andrea, go put Jim in the tub and have him sleep.
Andrea: *sigh* Fine. (falls off bed)
Caro: Em... are you okay?
Andrea: Yah. No depth perception.

Andrea shoves Jim into the bathroom while Caroline goes through Sharon's luggage. The ringing satellite phone is soon in her hand.

Caro: I guess it's good that they make all these so small.
Sharon: Hush. Give it here.

Caroline puts the phone down on the bed and watches as Sharon opens it up and presses the pick-up button.

Sharon: (shouting) Hello?
Gavin: Uh... Sharon?
Sharon: Hi Gavin!
Gavin: I can barely hear you. Is your phone cutting out?
Sharon: (yells louder) I'M HERE! HOW ARE YOU?
Gavin: You sound so far away.
Sharon: I KNOW! I MISS YOU! I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW THOUGH!
Gavin: Why? Are you having too much fun in Hawaii without me?
Sharon: NO, THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL!

Sharon: Hey!
Caro: Yah, Gav? It's Cazz. Shazz got shrunk and she can't talk right now.
Gavin: She's what?
Caro: Shrunk. As in she's really small.
Gavin: Ohhhhhhhh......... well, I hope she gets better...........
Caro: She will. Don't worry, she's not doing anything. She told me to tell you she'd make mad love to you when she gets back...
Sharon: Hey!!
Caro: And if she doesn't get better you'll have a very lifelike barbie doll to play with.
Sharon: Shut up!
Gavin: Oh-kayyyyyyyy then... I guess I'll let Sharon get back to being "small".
Caro: Okay. Have a good day. Or night. Whatever it is over there. *hangs up*

Sharon: Why did you tell him that?
Caro: Which part?
Sharon: Eh... forget it.
Caro: Look at it this way, at your height, you'll never complain about his manhood being too small.
Sharon: Okay.... that's disturbing.
Caro: Too small... again.
Sharon: Okay, you know for a fact I've never said it was too small.
Caro: Uh-huh. Right.

Andrea: Caroline, Jim's head is in Sharon's toilet.
Caro: Is he asleep?
Andrea: Looks like it. I don't think he'd want to be awake.
Caro: Well then, that's fine with me.
Sharon: Yah. Just take a polaroid of it. We need to put it on the website.

The next morning, the Corr sisters are still sleeping in Sharon's room, neither Caro nor Andrea wanting to leave Sharon alone through the night. However, Sharon is the first to wake up. She yawns and crawls out of the sock she's using as a sleeping bag.

Caroline is sleeping nearby, arms folded across her chest. Of course, Sharon cannot raise any response from Caroline.

Andrea is asleep face-down on the floor, having rolled off the bed in the middle of the night. Sharon takes a flying leap and bounces right off Andrea's bum.

Sharon: Hey, Caroline got you a bottle of Jack Daniels and says she can out-drink you.

Andrea: Ah? Whaa?? (hair falling in front of face)
Sharon: That enough of a wake-up call?
Andrea: What happened? Was it all a dream?
Sharon: Look at me.

Andrea: Okay, thank god, it wasn't a dream. You're still small.
Sharon: And as bossy as ever. Sleep well?
Andrea: Lovely. I need to cracccckkkkkkkk my back.
Sharon: Cracccckkkkkkkkk your back? Don't you mean crack?

Caro: Aw, no!!! That's sick!
Andrea: What?
Caro: You're doing that cracccckkkkkkkk thing again.
Andrea: And you can do better?

Caro slowly stands up and proceeds to stretch her entire body, arms, legs and back.

Sharon: Agggh! Stop it!
Caro: Hold on! Fingers too! *snap snap snap snap snap snap snap snap snap snap*
Andrea: (smiling) Okay, you've asked for it. *raises arms*
Sharon: No!!!! No more!!!!
Andrea: Wait, hold on! Here it... *POOOOMMMP*
Caro: Em, I don't think that was what you had in mind, Andrea. (covers nose)
Sharon: Agggh! Evacuate!
Andrea: Dammit! (turns red)

Caro: Whoo! That's worse than Jim's!
Andrea: Well what about that time in the car! After you had all those chili dogs!
Caro: Hey, that's a classic story!
Andrea: Eh?

Jim bangs his head and frees himself from the toilet bowl. His hair is a total mess, and his eyes are blackened. He is shunned out of the bathroom by Andrea, who slams and locks the door.

Sharon comes back out from under the bed and sees Jim standing in front of the bathroom door, looking like a zombie.

Sharon: What the hell is that? Frankenstein?
Jim: Oh god... I have the biggest headache.
Caro: Hangover helper? (offers a margarita)
Jim: Noooo way. What are you doing with one of those this early?
Caro: Living on the wild side.
Jim: That's a BAD side.

Jim: Well, we got any Aleve?
Caro: Nope.
Jim: Advil?
Caro: Nope.
Jim: Tylenol?
Caro: Nope.
Jim: Come on, man!!! I'm all messed up, I need my fix!!! I'll pay you, anything! Please!!! Just hook me up!
Caro: Relax. Here, take these.
Caroline tosses Jim a bottle, and he reads the label with tired eyes.

Jim: Midol?
Caro: It'll work like a charm. It's got caffeine in it too.
Jim: If this turns me into a woman, I'm going to kill you.
Caro: But Jim... you ARE a woman!

Jim: What's up, squirt?
Sharon: I'm trying not to look up your shorts, Gulliver.

Sharon, who is still down on the floor, is swept around by wet towels and wet feet.

Sharon: Hey! Hey!! Watch it.
Andrea: Whoop, sorry, pipsqueak.
Sharon: You know, you're going to die when I get back to being big.
Andrea: Great, I'll have to deal with a big b*tch rather than a little one.
Sharon: *gasp* Hey!!!
Caro: Geez, I should've given the Midol to YOU instead of Jim.
Andrea: Eh, I'm having a bad morning.
Sharon: You? Try being my size. Now I know what it's like to be a Barbie.
Andrea: Uh huh. You gave Jim a Midol?
Caro: Yah. What harm could it do?
Andrea: Besides turn him into a woman, I don't know.
Caro: That's an urban legend...

Jim comes back into a room, dressed up somewhat normally and looking much more sober.

Andrea: You got your keycard?
Jim: Yah. Sure did. (tosses bottle back to Caroline)

Caro: What the hell? Jim, this was a full bottle! It's half empty now!
Andrea: You mean half full.
Jim: Well, it's great for my hangover. I don't feel bad at all now.
Caro: Jim, I can barely stand to take just two of these! You must've taken about... what...
Jim: About four or five.

Caroline and Andrea stare at each other, trying to contemplate the horror of the situation. Sharon is climbing back up the bedspread.

Sharon: What? What's so bad?
Andrea: He's going to be a monster!
Sharon: He already is a monster.
Caro: No, a highly-caffeinated Midol freak.

To prove his point, Jim hops up onto the bed and jumps high in the air a few times, catapulting little Sharon off the bedspread.

Caro: Hey, hey!! (spills her margarita)
Andrea: It's already started!
Sharon: A little help here!

Caroline reaches over and scoops up Sharon, helping her up onto the bed. Jim sees Sharon and swipes her up, holding her with one hand.

Sharon: Whooaaaaa... careful... that was wayyyy too fast.
Jim: Wanna go for a ride, Sharon?
Sharon: No, it's okay.

Jim begins hopping on the bed again, bouncing higher and higher each time. Caroline gets off the bed and stands to watch with Andrea.

Jim: Whee! *bounce* Whee! *bounce* Wheee!!
Sharon: Jim!!! Cut it out!!
Jim: Woohoo!! I feel great!
Sharon: I feel like I'm gonna throw up! Caroline... help me out here!
Caro: What do you want me to do?
Sharon: How about... kicking... Jim's... arse???

Caroline looks at the situation, but knows that there is nothing she can do to stop Jim from his jumping. He continues to bounce higher and higher on the bed.

Sharon: (in agony) JIIMMMM!!!! PLEASE STAWWWWWWPPP!!!!....
Jim: Aw come on! It's fun!!

Jim stops his jumping. The caffeine is still surging through his veins, though, and he's starting to talk incredibly fast.

Jim: Omigawd! Sharonpukedallovermyhand!! You see that? See that? See that?
Andrea: We SEE that. Give her here. (takes Sharon) Aww.... are you okay, Shazz?
Sharon: I think I'm gonna dieeee... Jim, I'm going to kill you when I get big again.

Jim runs into the bathroom to wash his hand and runs back out. The act takes less than five seconds.

Jim: Come onn!!! We've goddabig day! We could do some moresurfingormaybewalkaroundandsee volcanoes...
Andrea: I think we'd better stay put, motor mouth. You're in no condition to go outside.
Jim: OfcourseIamcomeon!!!

We join our intrepid heroes down on the beaches of Hawaii, where Jim is going insane.
Caroline: You see him?
Andrea: (shields her eyes from the sun) No, I don't see him anywhere.
Caro: Maybe he went surfing. He could've rented a new board.
Andrea: Why a new one?
Caro: Because his old one has shark bites in it.

Sharon: It's like a freakin' desert out here! Look how big these grains of sand are! They're like cobblestones!

Andrea: AIEEEE!!!! *drops binoculars*
Caro: What?
Andrea: I just... centered in on some very fat man's hairy chest. Oh god, I think I'm traumatized...
Caro: *picks up binoculars and looks* Hey, I think I can see Jim. He's heading toward... oh god no.
Andrea: Toward what?

Caro: Take a look way down the beach and read the signs.
Andrea: *looks* Hmm... no littering... no fishing... nude beach. Oh god no.
Caro: Precisely.
Sharon: What? What? *hop hop hop*

Caro: Back in the bag. We must shield thine eyes.
Sharon: From what?
Caro: Nude beach.
Sharon: Oh... I guess that wouldn't be good now, would it?
Andrea: He's going in. And the shorts are coming off... dear god! Ugh...
Caro: Em, when in Rome?
Andrea: We aren't anywhere near Rome. Let's follow him.
Caro: That's what I meant. If we follow, we all lose the clothes.
Andrea: Em... we've got beach towels. Nobody'll care, really.

Andrea: Why is everyone giving us rude looks?
Caro: Because we're overdressed and we're carrying binoculars.

Andrea: So where is he?
Caro: Let's see... I don't know. He must've already hit the water. Damn that Midol!
Andrea: Maybe we should lay out and wait for him.
Caro: Bad idea, Andy. We're still dressed under these towels.
Sharon: Yah! And I'm not keen on droppin' trou either!
Andrea: Well what do you suggest?
Caro: Why even follow him? He's a big boy. I'm sure he can take care of himself. He's damn near forty!
Andrea: Eh, you're right. Besides, I might have to go into a biiiiiig confession session after this...

The Corr sisters run out of the nude beach and set up their spot on the normal beach, waiting for Jim to come along.

Sharon: Gee, thanks.
Caro: Here, put some sunscreen on.
Sharon: The bottle's as big as me! I can't put this on!

Caro: There, there's some stuck on the cap. Help yourself.
Sharon:
Andrea: Hmm, so what to talk about...
Sharon: I'm starting to tired of being really small. I can't do anything for myself at this height!
Andrea: Well, you'll be big again tonight, don't you worry.
Caro: *snicker*
Andrea: What?
Caro: Nothing.
Sharon: I'll tell you, this condition is terrible.
Andrea: I'm sure it is.
Sharon: Yeah huh! I'm almost about to start... you know.
Andrea: Great... we'll never find a tampon that small.
Sharon: Don't make me smack you.

Sharon: You really need to stop doing that without warning me.
Caro: Sand castle, sis?
Sharon: Eh? Hey, that sounds like a good idea.
Andrea: Fort Sharon. This should be good.

Within an hour, Andrea and Caroline have a rather large sand castle built, complete with turrets, stairways and windows. Sharon wanders the "halls", marvelling at the structure.

Sharon: *pokes head out window* You know, being small isn't so bad at this perspective.
Andrea: Hmmm... stop it! Now you're making me want to be small!
Sharon: Andrea, if you were any smaller than you already are...
Caro: Hey! It's Jim!

Jim shuffles up, obviously over his caffeine rush. Now he's exactly the opposite, walking around like his arms and legs are made from lead.

Andrea: Tired, Jim?
Jim: Nope. Just a little exhausted. *sits down on the castle*
Sharon: Hey!!! Watch it! You just took out the entire West Wing!
Jim: I hate that show anyway.
Sharon:
Caro: WHAT were you doing on a nude beach?
Jim: It's a whole new experience! You should try it sometime.
Caro: Em, no thanks. Plus, if any of your Greenpeace friends are still around and they saw you like that, they'll probably kick you out.
Andrea: If they haven't already because of that shark.
Jim: I do it all the time.
Andrea: What, beat up sharks?
Jim: No, run around naked. I do it all the time at home.

Sharon: Since when do you walk around naked "all the time"?
Jim: When I'm alone at my pad. It's just feels so free and open!!!
Caro: Okay, Jim, remind me never to visit your house uninvited again.
Jim: Doesn't matter, I dress before I let anyone in.
Caro: Okay, remind me never to sneak into your house, either.
Sharon: Yah. Now get off me castle! How am I supposed to fight off the sand crab armies with my West Wing completely leveled?
Caro: The tide's gonna come in pretty soon though. Could be high enough to reach even up here.
Sharon ignores Caroline's statement and goes back to wandering around inside her castle.

Caro: (sigh) Okay, you asked for it.
Andrea: I can already see where this is leading.
Jim: Me too. Corndogs?
Andrea: Sure.

Out of nowhere, a large cocunut falls out of the sky. Okay, so it didn't come out of nowhere, it came out of a tree... It lands right on one of the turrets of the castle.

Suddenly Jim returns to find two of his sisters nearly knocked out, with Sharon leaning out the window of her fort.

Jim: Sharon, are you throwing coconuts again?
Sharon: What? I don't throw coconuts!

Jim shoves a corndog right into Andrea's mouth. She barely seems to respond and now has a corndog sticking halfway out of her mouth.

Sharon: This is getting boring.
Jim: Well duh! Our writer hasn't come up with a good idea in months! He's boring everyone who's reading!

Jay, the ukelele master of Hawaii sits down across from Andrea and whips out his prized musical instrument, a lovingly polished four-string ukelele with gold fittings.

Jay: I knew it! Another amateur.
Andrea: Hey now, hold on a second. I'm just getting warmed up.

Andrea plays a few chords herself, surprising all of her siblings including Jim.

Jim: Since when do you play banjo?
Andrea: You'd be amazed at what I do in my spare time.
Jay: Follow this if you can.
Sharon: The dueling ukeleles. *wink*

Jay starts with a slow but rather resonant opener, a semi-long series of notes that go up and down the instrument. Andrea follows along, clanky but good.

Jay: *b b bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *b b ding ding ding ding ding ding*
Both: *bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *ding ding bing bing bing bing*

They both launch into a frenzy, Andrea's fingers flying up and down the banjo as if though she had been playing all her life.

Jay: *b bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *dada dinga dinga dinga dinga ding ding*
Jay: *b bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *dada dinga dinga dinga dinga ding ding*
Jay: *b bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *dada dinga dinga dinga dinga ding ding*
Jay: *blonga blong blong blong*
Andrea: *blinga bling bling bling*
Jay: *blonga blong blong blong*
Andrea: *blinga bling bling bling*

Jay is working up a sweat, going crazy. Andrea's expression isn't even changing.

Jay: *b b bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *d d ding ding ding ding ding ding ding*
Both: *bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong*
Andrea: *ding ding bing bing bing* (plays behind her head) *blinga blinga bling bing b b b bingida bingida bingida bingida bong bong bong* (plays with her teeth) *blinga b b b b bb bbb bbbbbbbb screeeeeeech SCREEEEECH blonga bing BLANG*

Andrea: I'm going to miss this. My little Sharon is growing up. *sniffle*
Sharon: This had just better work.
Caro: As she makes that walk. (plays Pomp and Circumstance on the violin)
Sharon: Hey!

Sharon: Whazaaaaaaaaap!!!!
Caro: Whazaaaaaaaaaap!!!!
Andrea: Oh, that's a relief.
Sharon: Yes, and now I'm getting away from paradox land. And look! *kneels down a bit* I'm back at Andrea's level!
Andrea: Rrgh!

And so the trip to Hawaii is another big moment in Corr history. The rest of the story consists of thrilling volcano scenes, more sharks, the return of Jay the Ukelele Master, and Jim's discovery of his lost childhood. But I won't bore you with that. On to the next story...