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Nine Months - Month
Eight
By Anne and Kristen
Andrea typed away on Shaun’s laptop, pretending to listen to Caroline's
ranting.
"How can I possibly organize a birthday party, make and buy food for a
birthday party, do all the little things like... EVERYTHING for a
birthday
party and then actually go through the pain of the birthday party,
without
going insane?"
"Mm."
"And I'm eight months pregnant!"
"Yeah, I know."
"I can barely handle two screaming preschoolers, let alone A HUNDRED
and
two!"
"Yeah."
"Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating slightly, but it may as well be a
hundred
and two kids."
"Yeah."
Caroline finally noticed how preoccupied Andrea's replies were, and
frowned.
"I'm so glad you agreed to supply us with sushi shaped like Bob the
Builder. That will be such a help. Not to mention your agreeing to
dress up as
a giant rabbit and hand out bars of solid gold."
"Mm."
Caroline closed the lid of the laptop.
"Hey!" protested Andrea.
"You weren't listening to me!"
"I was too. You were complaining about how all the powerpoints in your
house are too close to the floor and the people who designed the house
selfishly ignored the needs of pregnant women."
"That was ten minutes ago. I moved on to the party."
"Oh," said Andrea sheepishly.
"What were you doing, anyway?"
"Oh, um... nothing."
"Come on, you owe me! You weren't listening to me!"
"Promise you wont compare me with your four year olds."
"No."
"I'm playing neopets."
There was a pause as Caroline tried to make sense of this statement.
"You're...
what?"
"Its so much fun! You get this little cyber pet thingy and you feed it
and
buy toys for it and play Blackjack with it -"
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I think I'll leave you now."
"Okay," agreed Andrea, going back to her game of Blackjack.
"Don't forget your promise!" called Caroline, as she let herself out.
Andrea's head snapped up in horror. "What promise?"
**********************************************
"Jim, stop it, you're driving me insane!" Nea said, watching as Jim
methodically moved around the house, taking out knives, moving things
around,
stuffing newspaper into the electric plugs.
"Nea, this is something we have to do! I'm baby-proofing the house.
Look
at this!" He took a meat cleaver out of a drawer. "Wouldn't it be
awful if the baby got hurt?"
Nea rolled her eyes. "Yes Jim, it would be terrible if the baby rolled
off
the kitchen counter and fell onto the meat cleaver. Not to mention very
unlikely."
"You're not taking me seriously!"
"No, I'm not. You've been impossibly overprotective since I found out I
was pregnant. I'm still in my first trimester. I don't know if I can
cope with
you like this for much longer!"
Jim dug down into the drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. "Aha!
Potential baby hazard!"
****************************************
Sharon leaned over the arm of the couch to answer the phone. "Hello?"
"Your brother is driving me crazy!"
"Don't worry Nea, you're not crazy." assured Sharon. "In fact,
you have just exhibited a perfectly normal reaction to Life With Jim
Corr."
"I would ask you to help me put together a lynch mob, but he'd take our
torches away and claim they were a potential baby hazard. You can't
have a
lynch mob without torches."
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, he's going through the obsessive baby hazard phase?"
"Yes!"
"Just do what I did."
"And what’s that?"
"Play keep-away with his razors."
*****************************************
Caroline sat between the twins, Frank sitting in another chair.
"No clowns," Hannah said earnestly.
"Yeah, no clowns," Elle agreed.
"Don't all five year old's have clowns?"
"Clowns are creepy," Hannah informed her mother.
"I'm glad I know that now," Caroline replied.
"And no magicians," Elle put forward. "They make things
disappear."
"Right. So what do you guys want at your party?"
"Muppets," Hannah said.
"Elephants," Elle nodded.
"And kung fu people," they said in unison.
"And Uncle Bono, Uncle Edge, Uncle Larry and Uncle Adam," Hannah
replied.
"Yeah!" Elle grinned.
"Right, so basically we've got the Muppets, elephants, kung fu people
and
the who's who of the music world," Caroline sighed. "Great.”
************************************************** ******************
Nea leaped over the couch, dodging Jim. "Baby hazard," she teased,
taunting him with the razors in her hand.
Jim pouted. "You're mean."
************************************************** *************
Lily was laboriously signing her name - and Fred's - on the twins card
in
the Bonners lounge room when Sharon entered, closely followed by Jim
and Nea.
"Hi Auntie Nea! Hi Uncle Jim!" Lily paused. "Uncle Jim, how come
you're all hairy?"
Nea and Sharon choked back laughs as Jim frowned at Nea. "Because
Auntie
Nea has a death wish."
"Lil, we have to go to Uncle Frank and Auntie Caroline's house in three
minutes. Have you finished the card?"
"But the party's not till tomorrow!"
"No, but their actual birthday is today. Come on Lily, Daddy's already
in
the car."
"Okay okay okay." Lily paused. "How many minutes till MY
birthday?"
Sensing a prolonged conversation, Jim picked up Lily and carried her on
his
shoulders to the car. "Twelve million."
"WHAAAAAT?!"
********************************
“Why can't we go in
the kitchen,
Daddy?" Hannah asked her father. "It's our birthday! We can have
anything
we want, right?"
Frank raised an eyebrow. "Within reason."
"Well, we wanna go into the kitchen," Elle smiled sweetly.
"Sorry, can't let you. Your mammy's busy in there."
"Doing what?"
"That would spoil the surprise."
"And why can't we open our presents yet?" Elle asked.
"Well, we thought it would be more fun to open them when your aunts and
uncles are here."
"I think it'd be fun to open them now," Hannah grinned.
Frank watched her. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Why can’t we open them now?” Elle asked.
“Why can’t we go into the kitchen yet?” Hannah asked.
“Caroline?” Frank whined. “Help.”
Moments later, Caroline’s head popped out of the kitchen door. “Okay,
you girls
can come in now.”
With a squeal of delight the twins raced into the kitchen and jumped up
and
down. Balloons covered the room and a cake sat on the middle of the
table that
was covered by presents.
“Wow,” the girls breathed.
“This is almost as good as Christmas.”
“Nuh uh, it’s better! There’s cake!” Hannah told her sister.
“That is a plus,” Elle nodded.
The doorbell rang and Frank went to answer it. Lily, Gavin, Sharon,
Andrea,
Shaun, Jim and Nea were there.
“All in the kitchen,” he smiled.
Lily walked in the kitchen and grinned. “Hey there groovy chicks.
You’re all
happening in a really far out way.”
Caroline raised her eyebrow and Sharon groaned.
“She watched the Brady Bunch movie last night. Be thankful that she’s
not
singing.”
“Is Grandpa here yet?” Elle asked, eying off the presents on the table.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Frank brought Gerry in.
“Happy Birthday girls,” Gerry smiled.
“Your thoeth’ll thlip in the juith,” Lily grinned.
“Don’t ask,” Sharon told her father.
“Okay, presents or cake first?” Caroline asked the twins.
“Presents!” Elle cried.
“Cake!” Hannah cried.
“Cake!” Elle cried.
”Presents!” Hannah cried.
“Oh, Marcia, it's cold out. You better take your shawl. What about you,
Doug,
do you have any protection?” Lily changed her voice. “Yes Ma'am.
Assorted
colours AND…”
Sharon clamped her hand over her daughter’s mouth and pulled her
against her.
“Some of the jokes just go right over her head!”
“No kidding,” Andrea said.
“Okay, so I think presents should be first,” Frank said.
Elle and Hannah trooped into the loungeroom and sat at the big dining
table as
the adults brought the presents in. Sharon kept Lily’s mouth shut.
“This one is for Elle and this one is for Hannah,” Gavin said, placing
two
presents in front of them. “These are from Auntie Sharon, Lily and me.”
The girls politely said thankyou after stares from their parents and
went
straight to the unwrapping.
“Pregnant Barbie!” Hannah cried. “And Shaving Fun Ken!”
“Yay!” Elle cried.
“I thought they could have fun learning how to get the kid out,” Sharon
winked
at her sister, who rolled her eyes.
“Hey look Uncle Jim! Shaving fun Ken has hair just like you!” Elle
giggled.
Jim frowned.
Hannah thrust the card at Caroline. “Read please Mammy.”
“Happy Birthday. This will look normal if you read it while jumping on
your
bed.” Caroline peered over the card. “Don’t. Have a fun birthday. Love
Uncle
Gavin, Auntie Sharon, Lily and Fred.” She raised an eyebrow. “Fred?”
“He wanted to wish them happy birthday too,” Lily lisped.
Hannah folded her arms. “Let me see that card. Did it really say we
couldn’t
jump on our bed?”
“Yes,” Caroline said. “Look, more presents.”
“This one is from me and Uncle Shaun,” Andrea said, passing the girls
two
parcels.
The two girls thanked them again and got into the presents.
“A purple VW Barbie car!” Hannah cried.
“Mine is pink!” Elle grinned.
Andrea smiled sheepishly at Caroline. “Zoom, zoom, zoom?”
“That’s Mazda you idiot,” Sharon told her.
“Can we ride it on the mountain?” Elle asked.
“No!” Caroline cried quickly, grabbing the card.
“What’s the mountain?” Andrea asked intrigued.
“Mammy’s belly,” Hannah giggled.
“Okay, let’s see what the card says,” Caroline said, blushing
furiously. “To
two great nieces. Happy Birthday. A day full of happy, a smile full of
bright,
a mood full of sunny, a heart full of light, a year full of peaceful, a
sky
full of blue, a life full of lovely…for wonderful you. Happy Birthday,
love
Uncle Shaun and Auntie Andrea.”
“Nice poem Auntie Andrea! Did you write it?” Elle asked.
“No sweetie. You can thank Mr Hallmark for that one,” Andrea replied.
“You couldn’t have gotten them put together?” Frank asked, trying to
work out
the instructions.
“I’ll help,” Shaun offered.
“Here’s mine,” Gerry said, pointing to a package in the hallway.
Frank carried it in and the girls worked on unwrapping it.
“It’s a sled!” Elle cried.
Gerry nodded. “It was your mum’s.”
Hannah looked at her mother and then back at her grandfather. “Mammy
actually
fit on this?”
“Hey!” Caroline said.
“I used to go on it with her,” Andrea told them.
“Cool!” Elle cried, sitting on it. “Come on Hannah.”
The two girls sat on the sled together and pretended to ride it as
Caroline
read the card.
“Grandaughters. It’s always fun to hear about the things you’re doing,
the ways
you’re growing up. Hope you know how much pride you bring every day of
the year
– and hope you know how much it means to have you for granddaughters.
Happy
birthday. Love Grandpa and Grandma.”
The girls got up and went to hug Gerry.
“Thankyou Grandpa!” they cried.
“My turn,” Jim said, pointing to various little packages on the table.
The girls found lots of little shops and things to make a toy town.
“Cool Uncle Jim!”
“He made them himself,” Nea told them proudly.
The rest of the family looked at Jim in surprise.
“I did!” he said defensively.
“To two sweet girls on their birthday. Pooh bear agrees you’re the
sweetest of
sweeties from the tip of your head to your cute little feeties. Hope
your
birthday is just great. Love Uncle Jim and Auntie Nea,” Caroline read
out.
Frank and Gavin reappeared with two bikes, one purple and one pink,
with
tassles and ribbons tied on them.
“Happy birthday darlings,” Caroline told her daughters. “These are from
me and
Daddy.”
The girl’s eyes widened.
“No way!” Elle cried.
“Yeah!” Hannah cried. They both jumped on them and were about the pedal
when
Caroline put a hand on the bars.
“No biking in the house.”
“Read the card, Caro,” Frank winked, handing her the card.
“Love you daughters, a whole bunch. Happy Birthday. Love Mammy and
Daddy.”
Lily grinned. “Oh my, two Brady's... when you're done, why don’t you
come in
and help me make a sandwi…”
“Let’s have cake,” Sharon suggested, clamping a hand over her
daughter’s mouth.
************************************************** *******
"Are you SURE it's okay to pretend water-ski with our bikes and
sled?" asked Hannah nervously. "Mammy might be mad."
"It's fine," answered Elle dismissively, tying the sled to the back
of Hannah's bike using a hair ribbon.
"Then can we use your bike, since you're so sure?"
"Um... no.""Are you SURE it's okay to pretend water-ski with our
bikes and sled?"
************************************************** **************
Lily swung her feet over the edge of the examination table. Sharon
frowned at
her.
“Don’t hit the table, honey,” she told her.
Lily rolled her eyes.
The doctor came in.
“Hello, Lily. Hi, Sharon.”
“Hello Dr Grad,” Sharon smiled.
“I wanna keep it!” Lily cried.
The doctor looked at her. “Keep what?”
“The cast! After you cut it off!”
Sharon felt nauseous. “Lily, why do you want to keep it?”
“Cause everyone signed it and drew pictures on it!” Lily replied. “And
I can
bribe the twins if they want it for show and tell.”
“First of all, there will be no bribing,” Sharon told her firmly. “And
where
are you going to keep it?”
Lily scrunched up her nose. “Under my bed.”
Sharon sighed. “Let’s at least get it off first.”
Dr Grad smiled and got out the saw. Lily’s eyes widened.
“Nuh-uh! No way! I’m keeping it on me then!”
Sharon took her daughter’s other hand. “Honey, it doesn’t hurt, I
promise.
Right Dr Grad?”
The doctor nodded. “Of course it doesn’t hurt.”
Lily squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Okay, do it!”
Sharon rolled her eyes and within a few seconds, the cast was off.
Lily looked at the two pieces. “Fred isn’t going to like the fact that
his
dinosaur was cut in two!”
“I’m sure he’ll cope,” Sharon replied.
“EWWWWWWW! My arm is ugly!!” Lily squealed.
“That’s because it’s been inside plaster for six weeks,” Dr Grad told
her.
“Nothing that a good bath won’t fix.”
“And a very good scrubbing brush,” Sharon said, glancing at Lily’s arm.
************************************************** *******************
"Pedal faster!"
commanded Elle, sitting on the sled.
"I can't!" whined Hannah. "The wheels wont move in the
snow!!"
"Well that's just typical, that is," pouted Elle. "We need
someone to push us. Why couldn't we have had a triplet?"
"Maybe if I pedal really hard-"
"Hannah! Elle! What ARE you two doing?"
The girls looked up guiltily.
"Playing, Mammy," blinked Elle.
"You can’t play on the bikes and the sled at the same time," scolded
Caroline. "You could have gotten really hurt!"
"Again," commented Elle, giving Hannah's hand a meaningful look.
"Hey!" protested Hannah. "This was your idea!"
"I don't care who's idea it was, you're both playing with your inside
toys
now," decided Caroline firmly.
Grumbling, the twins followed their mother inside. Hannah leaned over
and began
whispering in Elle's ear.
Caroline turned around. "And that doesn’t mean you can jump on your
beds."
"Awwwwwwwwwww..."
************************************************** *******
Andrea slowly and laboriously typed on Shaun’s laptop.
"Whatcha doing?" asked Caroline curiously. "Emailing someone?
That's not normal. For you, I mean."
"I'm opening an account at the Neopian Bank," replied Andrea
seriously. "The ghosts keep stealing my money, I need to put it
somewhere
safe."
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Of course."
Hannah and Elle looked up in horror from where they were playing with
their new
toys on the floor.
"Ghosts?" squealed Elle as Hannah paled.
"It's okay, you guys!" said Caroline. "It's just pre-"
"Let's go hide our piggybanks," said Elle nervously, grabbing her
sisters hand.
************************************************** **
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Lily! It's only a scrubbing brush!"
"It HURTS!"
"If you let me scrub your arm, I'll let you dress up in my clothes."
"That's bribery and corruption." Lily informed her mother.
"Daddy's clothes too."
"Bribery and corruption."
"And my makeup."
Lily paused. "Well... okay."
************************************************** **
"Look at me!" cried Lily eagerly. "I'm a bannister!"
Lily twirled around, wearing one of her fathers business suit jackets,
one of
her mothers skirts, one of Andrea's rather lage belts that found it's
way into
Sharons walk-in, one high heel, one of her fathers sneakers, and six or
seven
layers of Sharons makeup.
Sharon smiled behind her book. "Are you now?"
"Uh huh. And you have to come with me. We have a court date."
Sharon raised her eyebrows. "We do?"
"Bribery and corruption," Lily reminded her.
************************************************** ****
Caroline walked into her house after having just been for a walk. She
was
bombarded by the twins, who looked at her with wide eyes.
“What is it?” Caroline asked.
“Auntie Andrea’s gone insane!” Elle breathed.
“Really insane,” Hannah nodded.
Caroline narrowed her eyes. “Uh, why do you think that?”
“She’s upstairs in your wardrobe, throwing clothes around!” Hannah
cried.
“She’s really scary, Mammy!”
Caroline frowned. “Right. You guys hide down here. I’ll go and save you
from
crazy Auntie Andrea.”
The two girls watched their mother go upstairs.
“Our Mammy is the most bravest and couragiest Mammy in the whole
world,” Elle
said proudly.
Hannah smiled. “Do you think she’d come to preschool and talk about
that?”
**************************************************
*********************
Caroline went over to her walk-in wardrobe and got a t-shirt in her
face. She
frowned and pulling it off, managed to duck a pair of jeans.
“Andrea Jane Corr! Do you not have enough clothes of your own!?” she
cried.
Andrea looked up guiltily. “Oh, hi Caroline. What are you doing here?”
“I live here! And why are you terrorising my children?”
“Terrorising your children?”
“They came barrelling downstairs telling me you had gone crazy.”
Caroline
glanced at her wardrobe, covered in clothes. “And I can see that they
had a
point.”
“You’ve got to help me,” Andrea moaned. “I have to go out to dinner
with
Shaun’s parents tomorrow night and I have nothing to wear!”
“Andrea, in case you haven’t checked lately, you have an entire
wardrobe filled
with clothes. One that breeds in fact. I know this because Sharon and I
sometimes house your clothes.”
“Yeah, but I’ve got to have dinner at a fancy restaurant with his
PARENTS.”
“At one time or another we all have to go eat with other people. It’s a
strange
fact about life.” She folded her arms. “Why do you want something of
mine to
wear anyway?”
“What did you wear when you went to dinner with Frank’s parents?”
Caroline smirked. “Which time? We have been married for a while you
know.”
Andrea frowned. “Fine then. The first time.”
“Um, a black dress.”
“That’s it?” Andrea asked incredulously.
“Yes Andrea, I wore no shoes either.”
“This isn’t funny, Caroline. What if they don’t like me!?”
“I thought of something even scarier.”
“What?”
Caroline smirked. “What if they do!?” She sighed. “Andy, I have a party
tomorrow. A very, very large party. Which I might add, you and Shaun
promised
to help at.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the moment, can you just help me here!”
************************************************** ******************
“Wake up honey,” Frank
said to his
wife the next morning. “Monsters are invading our house today. We have
to
prepare the defence.”
Caroline rolled over with a groan. “I didn’t sleep through it?”
“Sorry,” Frank said. “Your brother and sisters will be here soon. Bath
or
shower?”
“Do I have time for a bath?” she asked.
“Okay, so shower or shower?”
“Fine, shower.” She sat up and looked at him. “Why couldn’t you bring
me coffee
in bed?”
“Uh, because you’re pregnant?” Frank suggested.
“Right. That,” she said. “Fine, let’s get ready for the invasion.”
**********************************
The twins enthusiastically blew up balloons, making themselves red in
the
faces. Then Hannah accidentally inhaled some helium.
“Eww!” she said, her voice suddenly high-pitched. “Oooh!” she said, her
eyes
widening.
“Cool!” Elle cried. Before she too could try some, Caroline snatched
the helium
bottle away.
“Who said that you guys could use the helium?”
Hannah and Elle pointed to each other, and when that failed, pointed to
Andrea.
“Hey!” Andrea cried. “I didn’t do anything!”
“Sometimes I think I have three children,” Caroline said, rolling her
eyes. She
looked sternly at her daughters. “No more playing with this, alright?
Uncle
Shaun can do it.”
“Then what are we going to do?” Hannah whined.
Caroline thought for a moment. “I know! Uncle Jim is putting streamers
up. Why
don’t you go and unravel the streamers for him.”
The twins exchanged mischievous looks and raced off down to their
uncle.
“Jim’s never going to forgive you for that,” Andrea told her.
“He’ll get over it,” Caroline replied. “Besides, we’ve got too much to
do
without having to rush two five year olds to the hospital because of
helium
overdoses.”
Andrea’s eyes widened and she pulled the balloon away from her mouth.
*****************************************
The doorbell rang and Caroline went to answer it. A boy stood at the
front door
with his mother and two boxes…with holes in them. She was worried now.
“Hi,” the boy grinned. “My name is Tommy Banks.”
“I’m Angela,” his mother said. “It’s so wonderful to meet you.”
“Thanks,” Caroline smiled. “Come on in.”
“Hi Tommy!” Elle and Hannah said, as they ran down the hall.
“Happy Birthday,” Tommy said, and thrust the boxes at them. “Mummy
wanted to
get you dolls, but I thought that was boring.”
The girls eagerly tried to get the boxes but Caroline stopped them.
“Come on guys, remember we’re going to open all the presents when
everyone is
here.”
The girls frowned and Caroline led Angela into the lounge.
“Guess what!” Elle said. “Uncle Bono is coming to the party!”
************************************************** ******
By now there were 31 five year olds at the Woods home.
“Maybe you should have had less sugar,” Andrea suggested, as the kids
ran
around.
“They’ll calm down eventually. Bono and the rest of U2 are coming.
Frank
organised a couple of friends who do kung fu to do a demonstration, and
Frank’s
going to set up a muppet video on the big screen.”
“What about elephants?” Jim asked.
“If you think for one minute that I am going to have an elephant in my
front
yard Jim Corr, you have another thing coming,” Caroline told him.
“Why not? Elephants are cool,” Jim replied.
“They’re also big and smelly. And I repeat, I am not having one in my
front
yard.”
“You didn’t invite Britney Spears?” Andrea teased.
Caroline looked at her, aghast. “I am not corrupting my children!”
“Hear, hear,” Sharon agreed.
The doorbell rang and Frank answered it. Three men in white kung fu
outfits
smiled at him.
“Hey guys,” Frank smiled. “Come on in.”
All the kids were herded out to the backyard, where some tumbling mats
were set
up. Elle and Hannah sat right at the front, as the three men began
doing some
demonstrations.
The kids all oohed and ahhed at the appropriate moments, and when the
men were
finished, they gave the twins a pair of white outfits each.
“Thanks heaps!” Hannah cried.
The doorbell rang and Caroline looked in desperation at her husband.
“Surely
that can’t be more children!”
Frank went to the door and returned with U2. All the jaws of the
mothers
dropped to the ground.
“Uncle Bono! Uncle Adam! Uncle Larry! Uncle Edge!” the twins and Lily
cried,
racing to hug the men.
“Hey little girls,” Bono smiled. “Happy birthday.”
“How’s the drummer mummy to be?” Larry asked Caroline.
Caroline gestured to the group of children jumping around and eating
party
food. “Need I say more?”
The Edge grinned at Elle and then picked a penny from behind her ear.
“Cool!” Elle said.
“I didn’t know the Edge was a magician,” Sharon said to Adam.
“Neither did we,” Bono winked.
************************************************** ******
“LIZARDS!!!!” Elle and Hannah cried in unison as they opened the
present from
Tommy Banks.
Angela smiled apologetically at Caroline. “Tommy’s entered a new stage
where he
likes to choose the presents for his friends.”
“How lovely,” Caroline smiled, through the frown that was threatening
to
descend.
“Alright my little rockers. Ready for your presents from me and the
guys?” Bono
asked.
“Yeah!” the girls cried, punching their fists up in the air.
“Hold me, thrill me, but don’t kiss me or kill me,” Hannah smiled.
“It’s a beautiful day!” Elle cried.
“That’s it,” The Edge said. “You’ve put us out of a job.”
“Don’t worry Uncle Edge,” Elle said, hugging him. “We’ll let you sing
backup.”
Larry and Adam brought in two big packages.
“We heard you two liked these. We found them in Asia,” Bono told the
twins.
“Elephants!!!!” the girls cried, as they tore off the paper.
**************************************
U2 began singing “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me” and all the
little kids
started dancing on the dancefloor. One clump of girls, one clump of
boys.
Steven lumbered up to Hannah, who was dancing with Elle. He coughed
slightly.
“Would you like a glass of water?” Hannah asked.
“I was wondering if I could dance with you?” Steven asked.
Elle looked at her sister and shrugged. “Just watch the hands. I don’t
think he
washed them.”
“Did too!” Steven protested.
Caroline nudged Sharon, who was sipping some orange cordial.
"What?"
Caroline pointed to where Lily and Fred were attempting to do some kind
of
tango to the music. "She is so your daughter."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Sharon replied.
Fred attempted to dip Lily who threw her head back in an exaggerated
move.
"I rest my case," Caroline smirked.
************************************
Elle scuffed her feet, a little insulted that Hannah had left her for
poo-head
Steven.
She heard a quiet throat clearing behind her and spun around.
"Would you like to dance?" asked Timmy shyly.
Elle scrutinized his hands. "Did you wash?"
Timmy nodded. "Uh huh."
"Okay then," grinned Elle.
********************************
Elle and Hannah ran into the bathroom, turned on the bath and were
about to get
in, clothes and all when Frank and Caroline grabbed them.
"What on earth are you doing?" Caroline asked. "You never
voluntarily take a bath unless you can splash someone."
The girls wriggled as Frank turned off the tap.
"It's all Lily's fault!" Elle blurted out.
Caroline narrowed her eyes. "What is?”
"She said that it doesn't matter if the boys wash! She says we're
contavinated now and we're going to have to get a shot!" Hannah cried.
"Contaminated with what?" Frank dared to ask.
"Boy germs!" the twins cried in unison
"Quick! We have to bath NOW!!!"
****************************************
"What do we say, Lily?" Sharon asked sternly, tapping her foot.
Lily sighed and turned to the twins. "I'm sorry I made up the story
that
you were contaminated with boy germs." She paused. "But you could
have had a bath anyway!"
"Are you saying we stink?" Elle asked, as teh twins put their hands
on their hips.
"You stink worse!" Hannah said to Lily.
Lily stuck her nose in the air. "I do not. I used special pretty
flowery
smelling stuff when i had a bath this morning."
Sharon raised an eyebrow. "The same special pretty flowery smelling
stuff
that was in my drawer that I told you not to touch?"
Lily blinked. "Um..."
Five minutes later, Lily sat with her arms folded in the temporary Time
Out
room, aka the kitchen. "Five year olds are boring babies anyway," she
muttered.
****************************************
Caroline flopped down on the couch. "It's over! Finally, it's over."
Sharon sat down beside her. "Damn not being able to drink when
pregnant."
"Ready to go?" Gavin asked, coming over to his wife. "Us boys
have cleaned up the kitchen. Andrea said she'd stay behind so we can
get Lily
home."
"I knew there was something good about having a little sister,"
Sharon nodded.
"I heard that," Andrea said.
************************************
“Whatcha doing Auntie Andrea?” Hannah asked, as she and Elle crowded
around
Andrea’s laptop.
“Looking after my babies,” Andrea replied, cooing at the computer
screen.
The twins looked shocked and ran to their mother, who was working in
the
nursery.
“Mammy! Mammy!” Elle cried. “You never told us that Auntie Andrea has
babies!”
“Huh?” Caroline said, mentally clearing her head.
“Yeah! Are we going to keep our baby in the computer too? Did you keep
us in
there?” Hannah cried.
Caroline wondered if she was going crazy, then remember her younger
sister.
“No, you weren’t kept in a computer and I am definetly not putting the
new baby
in one.” She got up. “Now you guys go and find something quiet to play
at, and
I’ll go sort out Auntie Andrea.”
With wide eyes, the twins went upstairs to play and Caroline turned to
Andrea.
“Are you addicted? Do we need to put you into a rehab program?”
Andrea looked up. “Huh?
“You almost scarred the twins for life. Now I have to explain to them
why their
Auntie Andrea has babies in the computer.”
Andrea chuckled slightly. “You know, that could be pretty funny.
Keeping babies
in the computer.” She caught Caroline’s look. “Or maybe not.”
TBC
Month 9