A Corr Childhood Story
In this story, Jim is 14, Sharon is 9, Caro is 5 and Andrea is 4. It's
an average rainy day in Dundalk, and as usual Jim is in his room, lost
in his guitar playing. Little Caroline and Andrea are sitting nearby on
the floor.
Caro: Jim has a really messy room. It's like your side of the bed.
Andrea: Hehe no it's not! Jim's socks smell really bad!
Caro: It still does, he doesn't make his bed at all. Look, his blanket
is halfway off.
Andrea: Hey, what is that under the bed?
They see a battered white shoebox under the bed.
Caro: I'll bet that's where he keeps all his really neat stuff.
Caroline starts reaching under the bed, and Andrea gets worried.
Andrea: Don't, he might get mad! Again!
Caro: So? He won't notice, he's too busy playing his guitar.
Jim looks like he's lost in heaven, eyes closed as his fingers dance
on the guitar. Andrea agrees.
Caro: Let's see... (pulls out the box and opens it) Hey, a shamrock!
Andrea: That's not a shamrock, that's a cannibal.
Caro: A cannibal?
Andrea: Yeah, I heard Jim talking about it one time, he was telling
his friend how he sometimes smokes cannibals.
Caro: How do you do that?
Andrea: I don't know. Maybe it's like that stuff that Gran'pa puts
in his pipe and burns.
Caro: I never like that smell... blech.
Andrea: Well maybe this smells better. Here's a match.
Within minutes, smoke starts rising up from the side of the bed. Jim
sniffles a bit.
Jim: Hmm...
Caro and Andrea continue to burn the cannibis leaf until it's gone.
Caro drops it on the rug, still aflame, and Andrea smacks it out with her
hand.
Jean: Jim! Sharon! Caroline! Andrea! Supper time!
Caro: Come on!
They shove the box back under the bed and run out of the room.
Jim: Hmm... what is that smell?
Down at the dinner table, Sharon is already seated, and throws a pea
at Caroline as she gets into her chair. Caroline throws one back.
Jean: Now now, we can't waste food. Enough throwing.
Andrea jumps up onto her chair and grabs hold of the seemingly giant
fork. She's just tall enough to get her head above the table. Gerry seats
himself at the table.
Gerry: Looks lovely dear. Now... where is Jim?
Andrea: Still upstairs.
Gerry: James Steven Ignatius Corr, get down here now to say grace!
A minute or so later, Jim slides down the stairway railing, yelling
"Grace!" as he lands.
Gerry: I don't think so. Sit down, everyone bow y'er heads.
Jim sits down and bows his head.
Jim: Lord, bless this food... PLEASE.
Jean taps Jim on the head.
Jim: Bless the man at the store who sold it to us, and the stove on
which our mother so generously cooked this meal upon... so that we may...
eat it.
Caro and Andrea: Hehehe.
Jim: Thank you lord for the television on which father has been occupied
with fixing all day, keeping him out of my hair. And... bless our whole
family lord, and um... have a nice day. Amen.
Everyone: Amen.
Later, Andrea and Caroline are hanging out in Sharon's room, which
was a rarity. Normally Sharon would keep her door locked and wouldn't open
it for them. But Sharon had strangely ASKED them to stay in there for a
while.
Andrea: That sure was nice of Sharon to let us be in here. It's a lot
cleaner than Jim's room.
Caro: Uh huh, and there's even more neat stuff under her bed. Look
at these shoes.
Caroline pulls out a pair of pink sneakers with worn-out laces.
Andrea: So? They're her stinky shoes.
Caro: Not as stinky as Jim's.
Caro proceeds to take the laces out of the sneakers. Andrea watches
intently for a few minutes.
Andrea: Whatcha doin?
Caro: Taking the strings out.
Andrea: Well I know that, but what are you going to do with them?
Caroline holds up the strings.
Caro: Maybe we can fly a kite with them.
Andrea: I don't think it's long enough.
Caro: Maybe we could put them on one of Jim's guitars. He always says
he needs strings.
Andrea: Hey yeah, he'd like that!
Caro: Let's go.
Caroline and Andrea leave Sharon's room and go into Jim's room, where
again he's lost in his guitar playing. Caroline sees a guitar without strings
in the corner.
Caro: Let's try it on that.
They pick up the guitar (It takes both of them to do this) and put
it on the floor.
Caro: Great, there's only two missing. Here, tie this end on that thingy
at the end.
Andrea ties the string to the peg, then Caroline laces the string through
the tuning peg. She winds it up nice and tight, then does the same with
the other string.
Caro: Perfect. Hey Jim. Jim. Jim! Jim!!!
Jim: Huh? Oh, what?
Caro: Play this guitar!
Jim: Oh, ok. Let's see...
Jim puts down his guitar and picks up the "repaired" one. He strums
it, not noticing the shoe laces placed in it. Then he starts playing.
Jim: Hey, why is this thing so hard to play... HEY, what did you do
to this thing??
Caro: We tried fixing it for you, Jimmy.
Jim: Oh, well, that's nice, but it doesn't work. I need metal strings,
not shoe laces.
Caro: Oh, we could use some of pa's metal wire in the garage!
Jim: Eh, no no no, that's okay. Just leave the strings to me, okay?
Now go take these and run along.
Jim takes the shoe laces off his guitar and hands them back to Caro.
They're now about four times their original length, having been stretched
so far. Caroline and Andrea go back to Sharon's room with the strings.
Sharon is now in there, having left for a while.
Sharon: Hey, there you two are. What do you have in your hand?
Caroline hides the string behind her back and hands it to Andrea.
Caro: Nothing! Just some twine.
Sharon: Oh. I got some cookies from mammy if you want some, they're
on my dresser.
Andrea: Yay! Cookies!
They go and grab a whole handful, then sit back down on the floor next
to Sharon's shoes.
Andrea: Maybe you should put the strings back in the shoes.
Caro: Yeah, I don't know what to do with them.
Caroline laces Sharon's shoes back up. Now there's about two feet of
lace hanging off the shoes.
Sharon: What are you doing to my shoes?
Caro: Nothing, I was just looking at them. (slides them back under
the bed)
Sharon: Hmm. Okay.
Andrea: Do you want something, Sharon?
Sharon: What do ya mean?
Andrea: You never let us in your room unless you have something secret
to tell us, and you've never let us eat in here.
Sharon: Correction, I've never let YOU eat in here. You get your crumbs
and sticky stuff all over.
Caro: Hehe.
Sharon: I don't know, I just feel like letting you two in here.
*phone rings*
Gerry: Sharon! Phone call!
Sharon runs from the room.
Andrea: Hey I know! We could use the strings to open Sharon's dresser!
Caro: We might get in trouble though. Then she might get Mammy and
Daddy to hit us with the big ping pong paddle.
Andrea: Owie. Never mind.
*squeak squeak*
Andrea: What's that?
Caro: It's under the bed.
*squeak squeak squeak*
They look under the bed and peer into the darkness.
Andrea: It's a kitty!
Caro: It's not a kitty.
Andrea: Then what is it?
Caro: It's a guinea pig.
Andrea: A pig?
Caro: Yeah!
Caro pulls a little bird cage out from under Sharon's bed. A furry
little animal with a patchwork pattern is in the cage, squealing.
Andrea: Hehe it's cute!
Sharon: HEY!! What are you doing with that??
Caro: Nothing! (shoves it back under the bed) We didn't see anything.
Sharon: Darn! Now you know about my guinea pig.
Caro: Sharon, you're not allowed to have a guinea pig.
Sharon shuts the door.
Sharon: I know, stupid! That's why I'm keeping it a secret!!
Andrea and Caro: Ohhhhhhhh.
Sharon: So don't tell anyone!
Andrea: Okay.
Caro: Yeah, okay. Can we play with it?
Sharon: Okay, let me get it this time.
Sharon reaches under the bed and pulls out the cage. Andrea and Caroline
can't help but stare at the furry little rodent.
Sharon: Here, let's put him on the floor.
Sharon puts the pig on the carpet. It looks around and walks a little
bit on its little tiny feet.
Andrea: Hehehe it walks funny.
The guinea pig sniffs Andrea's foot.
Andrea: OWWWWWW!!!! It's biting me!!! OWIE! OWIE!!! Get it off!!!
Just then, Jim opens the door.
Jim: Ohhhhh no, of all things... Ma! Pa! Sharon has a rodent in her
room!!!!
Sharon: Jim no, please!! It's a guinea pig, I bought it!
Jim: You know the rules. Why do you think I can't have a bird?
Sharon: Because we're allergic to feathers. Look, Jim, PLEASE don't
tell them.
Jim: Well if you can hid it in ten seconds.
Sharon gets the pig off Andrea's bleeding foot, shoves it back in the
cage, and puts the cage in her wardrobe. Just as she closes the doors,
Gerry and Jean come in, Jean carrying a rolling pin.
Gerry: Where is it? Where did it go??
Sharon: In the closet!
They open the closet doors, and Gerry looks around inside.
Gerry: I don't see anything.
Jean: I do.
Andrea's bleeding foot is making itself rather noticeable on Sharon's
rug.
Jean: Okay Andrea, how did ya get your foot like that?
Andrea: I uh, um, stepped on a piece of glass! Yeah!
Jean: Really? And where is this piece of glass?
Andrea: Um...
Jean looks at Sharon.
Jean: Where is your pet, Sharon?
Sharon: Mammy, I don't know what ya mean.
Jean: Tell me.
Sharon: (in tears) In my wardrobe.
Jean pulls out the cage with the squeaking little guinea pig.
Gerry: Mother of the savior... what in tarnation is it?
Jean: It's a guinea pig, dear. Come now, we'll return it in the morn'.
Andrea, come get your foot fixed up.
The next morning, Gerry and Jean leave the house with the caged guinea
pig. Andrea and Caro are up watching Saturday morning cartoons.
Andrea: Why can't we have little animals though? I liked the pig, even
though he tried eating my foot.
Caro: Because daddy says their fur can give us all allergies and they're
just too much trouble. But I don't know. Maybe it's because they're noise,
that pig kept squealing.
Andrea gets an idea.
Andrea: Maybe we could buy Sharon a bunny! That would cheer her up!
Caro: Do we have any money?
Andrea: I have a copper.
Caro: Hmm. We can't buy a bunny with that.
Andrea: Well we could catch one.
Caro: How are we going to catch the bunny?
Andrea: We can use the crate out back with a carrot and a stick with
string!
Caro: Hey yeah! That's a good idea! Sharon will love it!
Caro and Andrea go back up to Sharon's room. Sharon is still asleep
and doesn't notice them. Caro takes the laces out of Sharon's sneakers
again, then they go downstairs and get a carrot. Then they go out to the
back yard.
Andrea: I saw this in a cartoon once. Let's use this stick and tie
the string to it.
They tie the string to the stick and use the stick with the crate,
soon creating a nifty contraption with a carrot in it.
Caro: Now what?
Andrea: We sit and wait for a bunny to come along, then we pull the
string and we'll have it!
Caro: Okay, I hope it doesn't take too long.
Andrea and Caro sit outside for about an hour, getting extremely bored.
Nothing comes to get the carrot. At one point a magpie lands and takes
a few bites of the carrot, but flies away.
Caro: I'm bored!
Andrea: Well so am I but we have to catch a bunny for Sharon. Sooner
or later we'll find one...
Jean: Andrea! Caroline! Breakfast!
Caro: Come on, let's go. We'll come back later.
They go inside and have breakfast, then come back out. They see a rabbit
munching on the carrot. Before they can do anything, the rabbit runs off
with the carrot.
Andrea: Hey!! Stupid bunny!
Caro: Here, maybe this will work.
Caroline goes to the crate and puts down a cannabis leaf.
Caro: Maybe one of Jim's cannibals will work better.
Once again they wait, and several hours later Caroline is yawning.
Caro: I'm going inside to sleep. This is too boring.
Caroline leaves, and Andrea stays put. No matter what, Andrea was determined
to bring Sharon a special gift.
An hour or so later, Andrea runs inside carrying the crate. Caroline
is napping on the couch and hears Andrea come in.
Caro: What? Did you get one?
Andrea: No, I got something better! Come on!
They go back up to Sharon's room. Sharon is awake and sad, reading
a book.
Andrea: We brought you something to make you feel better, Sharon!
Sharon: You did? What is it?
Caroline shuts the door, and Andrea opens the crate.
Sharon: What?? We can't keep that!
Andrea tips over the crate, and a rather heavy tortoise falls out on
its back.
Andrea: It could be a great pet!
Sharon: Andrea, you know we can't have a turtle, we don't even know
what turtles eat!
Andrea: Leaves!
Sharon: We need to keep it wet, too! Turtles need to swim.
Andrea: We could put it in the bathtub.
Sharon: Well okay. But we should turn him over, I don't think he should
be on his back like that.
They turn the turtle over onto his feet, and it waddles along. It stares
up at them with beady little eyes.
Andrea: It doesn't really do much, does it?
Sharon: Maybe we should let it go. He'll miss all his friends and besides,
we barely know how to take care of it.
Jean: Sharon dear... oh no, what do you have now?
Caro: Andrea found a turtle outside, mammy! Can we keep it?
Jean: Now now, we can't keep this turtle, he's a wild creature and
he needs to be with his wild family.
Sharon: See?
Jean: And I doubt we could keep a tortoise like this alive. Wait, what
is he chewing on?
Jean pulls the cannabis leaf out of the turtle's mouth.
Caro: It's a cannibal. We found it in Jim's room.
Jean: DEAR!!!!!!
Gerry: You're grounded.
Jim: What?? But, but...
Gerry: No buts, you know the rules. I can't believe you had this, you
could have us put in the jailhouse. Now go to your room, Jim.
Jim goes up to his room, giving Caro and Andrea dirty looks as he runs
up the staircase.
Caro: I think Jim is mad at us.
Andrea: I hope he doesn't stay that way.
Gerry: There are my wonderful girls. Who wants ice cream?
Andrea and Caro: Me! Me!
Gerry: All right, go get Sharon. You two have been extra good.
They go and get Sharon from her room, and they have ice cream together.
Gerry: Now what was this I hear about this tortoise? Why did you catch
it?
Andrea: Well, we were trying to catch a bunny so we could give it to
Sharon 'cuz you took away her guinea pig. We wanted to make her feel better.
Sharon: Aww...
Gerry: Well, I hope you all understand that the reason we can't keep
small creatures, especially rodents like guinea pigs and rabbits. They
can get mad and bite you, they can chew the wallpaper and the power cords
and everything, and cause a huge mess. And as you can see, things are falling
apart around here.
Andrea: Yes.
Gerry: Even though I think Sharon was very responsible by keeping the
little critter caged and clean. Even so, we just can't have that, and I'm
sorry for hurting feelings.
Sharon: It's okay, daddy.
Later, Caroline and Andrea go back up to their room to find the window
open. The magpie from earlier is flying around the room.
Caro: Aggh! Magpie!
Andrea: Shoo! Shoo!!
The magpie flies into Caro's face, then flies out the window, squawking.
Andrea and Caro: EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Jim: Whahahahah!!! Ahahah whoa!!!!! *crash*
Jim comes crashing out of their closet, having fallen off the box he
was standing on to watch them from a hole in the closet door.
Andrea and Caro: EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Gerry: What is going on up there? Are you kids breaking things again?
Jim: No!
Jean: Young man... what are you doing in your sisters' room?
Jim: A simple practical joke, mum.
Jean: Well, back to your room now, go.
Caro: Eww! The magpie poopied on our bed!
Jean: Oh... I swear, this place is an animal house.
The next day, Caroline and Andrea go to mass, then come home.
Andrea: Do you think Jim is still mad at us?
Caro: Maybe. Maybe that's why he stayed home today.
Andrea: I don't want him to be mad at us. I didn't know he'd get in
trouble because of the leaf.
They go up to Jim's room and knock on the door.
Jim: Go away...
Andrea: Jim? Are you still mad at us?
Jim: Yes. Now go away.
Caro: We're sorry for getting you in trouble, Jim.
Jim: Why did you two have to go through my things? I can't go anywhere
now, I can't do anything, I can't even leave the house unless it's for
school or mass.
Caro: Hey, maybe we could make him a card or something, that could
make him feel better.
Andrea: Okay, I'll go get the scissors.
An hour later, Andrea and Caroline put a badly-cut, paste and glitter
covered card under Jim's door, cut into letters which read "We're sorry
Jim."
Andrea: What should we do now?
Caro: Let's wait here, maybe he'll come out.
They sit there for about twenty minutes until a card slides out from
under the door. Andrea picks it up and reads it.
Andrea: "Nice try, but go away."
Caro: Hmmph!
Andrea: I know, maybe we should give him the cannibal leaf back!
Caro: But mammy and daddy threw it away.
Andrea: Well we could buy one!
Caro: But where are we going to buy a cannibal leaf? We still don't
have any money.
Andrea: We could do that thing you do on my homework assignments!
Caro: Copy?
Andrea: Yeah! We could get something and make it look like a cannibal
leaf!
Caro: Hey, that's a good idea. I think there's spinach in the fridge.
So with their trusty pair of scissors, Andrea and Caroline cut up a
spinach leaf until it looks somewhat like a cannabis leaf.
Andrea: There, this should work now.
She slides it under the door. They wait for a few minutes.
Jim: Ahahahahahahahahaha!!! WHAAAAhahahahahaha!!!!!!! Oh, hahahahahahaha.....
hahahah!
Jim opens the door and crushes Andrea and Caro in a bear hug.
Jim: You little buttons, hahahaha how silly!!! Hahahah!
Jean: Jim!!! What is that on the floor!??
Jim lets go of his sisters in shock.
Jim: Mum! I uh... this isn't...
Jean grabs him by the ear.
Jim: Ow!!!
Jean: I thought we taught you a lesson!!!
Andrea grabs the fake cannabis leaf and eats it.
Jean: Andrea!!! Spit that out right now!!
Andrea: *crunch crunch crunch*
Jean: Andrea!
Jean grabs hold of Andrea and slaps her on the back.
Jean: Spit it out! Now!
Andrea: *gulp*
Caro: Mammy, it was just a spinach!! See?
Caroline shows Jean the spinach they had used.
Jean: Oh... well then, looks like you're innocent. I'm sorry, Jim.
Jim: Sorry for me? Be sorry for Andrea, I stepped on that spinach leaf.
(wriggles his bare toes)
Andrea: Hrfffpph??!!?
The End
