The Corrminator

Free Web Hosting Provider - Web Hosting - E-commerce - High Speed Internet - Free Web Page

Andrea: Oh geez, not this again.
Caroline: We always pick the worst times to get stuck in movies.
Andrea peers at Sharon.
Andrea: You’re not kidding.
Andrea and Caroline chuckled.
Caroline: What were you up to?
Sharon frowns. She is wearing a satin nightgown.
Sharon: None of your business. Where are we anyway?
Caroline: Duh! In a movie, Sharon.
Sharon: Duh! I know that Caroline. What movie? And where is Jim?
All of a sudden a motorbike can be heard in the distance. It comes closer and closer. As she sees it, Sharon hides behind Andrea as she doesn’t want to be seen by anyone in her nightgown. The motorbike pulls up, dust clouding up.
Caroline splutters as dust flies in her face.
Caroline: EWWWW!! Whoever that is better show their face right now before I knock them off that motorbike!
There is a cough and a splutter and the man on the bike shakes his head. He’s wearing all leather, and he reaches up with his leather gloves to take off his helmet.
ANDREA, SHARON AND CAROLINE: JIM!!!???
Jim: Pretty cool, huh?
He hops off the motorbike and stands next to it. It creaks slightly.
Jim: I just arrived riding this thing.
Andrea narrows her eyes.
Andrea: Uh, Jim? I didn’t know that you knew how to ride a motorbike.
Jim: That’s the beauty of it. I don’t!
Sharon: Uh-huh.
Caroline (whines): How come Jim got to ride the motorbike?
Sharon: Sod the motorbike. Jim, what movie are we stuck in now?
Jim (frowns): Why do you always make it sound like my fault.
Sharon: Because it so often is.
Jim (shrugs): True. I believe we’re in Terminator.
Sharon (falls to her knees): Oh no. Please god no. Not in my nightie.
Andrea (widens her eyes): Does that mean that freaky Arnold Schwarzeneggar cyborg dude is in this?
Caroline: Cool. Let’s kick his ass.
Sharon: Can I get changed first?
*CREAK* *CRASH*
Jim: OW! Damn!
Caroline: See! I should have ridden the motorbike!

The Corrs are all now changed into black leather, a la the Breathless video.
Sharon: That nightgown better go straight back to my house, or I’m going to be really mad.
Andrea (looks at herself): I don’t know whether I should be participating in this. I feel wrong about being a movie that I’ve never actually seen.
Caroline: You’ve never seen Terminator?
Andrea: Well you guys wouldn’t let me when I was younger and I thought that it must have been really bad.
Jim (rolls his eyes): Andrea, we wouldn’t let you watch Bambi because we thought that you would cry when his mother dies.
Andrea (screeches): She DIES????
Sharon: Oh boy.
Linda Hamilton: You can say that again.
The Corrs turn around in shock.
Linda: Well you can. Bloody Arnie has been following me around for what is it now? Eighteen years? It’s kinda getting a tad boring.
Andrea: She…she talks.
Linda: Well of course I talk you fool. Silent movies stopped being made before I was born!
Andrea (turns and mutters to her brother and sisters): Are we supposed to like her?
Sharon: Why couldn’t we have turned up in a period piece? Why did we have to come into a horror/action/sci-fi movie? I’m a romantic girl!
Andrea: I like animation.
Caroline: I’m a romantic comedy girl myself.
Jim: Well I like action. Besides, I got to ride the motorbike.
Linda Hamilton’s head whips around to glare at him.
Linda: So that’s where that damn thing went. I swear, you almost ruined the entire movie!
Jim: Uh…sorry?
Linda: Damn right you’re sorry. I’ll put you in Arnie’s path next time if you don’t behave yourselves.
Sharon: Hey! Don’t include us in this!
Caroline: Yeah! Don’t take it out on us! It’s not our fault we’re related to him.
Jim: Hey!
Andrea: I still love you, Jimmy.
Jim: Thanks, Andy.
Andrea: If Arnie comes you can be sacrificed.
Jim: What?
Sharon (nods thoughtfully): That makes sense. You’ve lived longer than all of us.
Caroline: WAY longer.
Jim: Watch it.
Sharon: And you’re a boy. You’ve got more of a chance against him.
Jim (sarcastically): Yeah. I mean, I am surrounded by poor weak females.
Linda Hamilton glares at him.
Jim (scared): You excluded, naturally.
Sharon: Uh, can I ask a question Ms Hamilton?
Linda (crankily): What?
Sharon: Uh, where’s Kyle?
Linda: Kyle?
Sharon (tries to remember the actor’s name): Um…uh…Michael! That’s it. Where’s Michael?
Linda: Oh him. He’s doing the usual. Fighting Arnie.
Caroline: Can I ask a question now?
Linda: What do I look like? A gameshow host? (sighs). Well, since we’ve got time…
Caroline: What’s it like being pregnant?
The other three Corrs gape at their sister.
Caroline: What?
Sharon (hysterically): Not that I’m not happy for you, but…IS THIS REALLY THE TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THIS!!!!
Linda Hamilton covers her ears.
Linda: Geez girl! Do you WANT Arnie to find us.
Andrea claps her hand over Sharon’s mouth. Sharon tries to talk and Andrea pulls her hand away.
Andrea: EWWW! Sharon! You licked my hand!
Jim this time clamps his hands over both Sharon and Andrea’s mouths.
Jim: Uh…guys…he’s coming!
Linda: Great. Thanks a lot.
Arnie: Told you I’d be back.
Caroline pops her head up.
Caroline: Hey, when you said that phrase to begin with, it was kind of cool. But after having a million people say it around the world, it’s starting to get tiresome.
Arnie cocks his head to the side.
Arnie: You’re not in the script.
Caroline: Big deal.
Arnie gets his huge gun and sprays some bullets towards where Caroline is. The others pull her down just in time.
Jim: Have you lost your mind?
Sharon: We’re all going to die, we’re all going to die.
Andrea begins to get a determined look on her face…
Screaming like a banshee, Andrea jumps on Arnie’s back and begins pounding him.
Linda (impressed): Wow. She has a lot of repressed anger.
Sharon (watches her sister): You’re telling us.
Caroline (watches in admiration): Nice one Andy!
Jim: Maybe this stems from when we locked her in the cupboard.
Sharon: This is not how I planned my evening.
Linda: I guessed that by that fancy number you rocked up in.
Sharon (embarrassed): You saw that?
Linda: Honey, we’re stuck in a world of leather, technology and men. EVERYONE saw it.
With a groan, Arnie threw down his gun.
Arnie: Alright! Alright! Enough already! Get this munchkin off me!
The Corrs all jumped from their hiding place as Andrea hit him again.
Andrea: Hey! Who you calling a munchkin, you freakishly mutated guy.
Arnie: I’m not mutated! This is all natural muscle! I am a world renowned bodybuilder! (turns to camera) And for just 29.95 you can purchase my book and become just like me. The number is on your screen now.
Caroline: Hey! No advertising in OUR story!
Linda: Hey! This isn’t YOUR story! It’s MY story!
James Cameron: Actually, it’s my story.
Arnie backs up, as does Linda.
Sharon: What’s going on?
Arnie points a finger at James, with a scared expression on his face.
Linda: He writes the story. If he wants to cut us, he can.
James rolls his eyes.
Sharon: Well can you PLEASE cut us! I have stuff to do at home!
Andrea and Caroline make kissy sounds in the background.
James looks at his watch and claps his hands.
James: Alright you four! Out out! You’re ruining the story!
Sharon: Hey! I’m offended by that!
Caroline (frowns): When you’ve got some time, I have a beef with you about Titanic. What was with the casting of Leonardo Di Caprio, huh?
The four Corrs walk off. Andrea turns back.
Andrea (winks): I’ll be back.