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The Scandia Park
Jim: Here comes Andrea.
Caro: I thought you were tired.
Andrea: I am, but I don't want to miss out on miniature golf.
Jim: But you've never played.
Andrea: Well it can't be too hard, can it?
Sharon: Oh boy...
Andrea gets a club and ball, and joins the others.
Jim: Watch this.
Jim hits the ball, and it shoots almost straight up into the air, and hits the hole 20 feet away. He bows in glee.
Caro: Show off!
Jim: And proud of it.
Caro: Okay, my turn.
Caro hits the ball, it bounces off several walls and flies off somewhere where they can't see.
Jim: Smooth one, Cazz.
Caro: Oh, shut up.
Sharon: Okay, my turn now.
Sharon hits her red ball, it gracefully rolls across the floor and stops a foot short of the hole.
Sharon: Almost.
Jim: Not bad. Andrea, it's your turn.
Andrea: *snore*
Jim: ANDREA!
Andrea: Wha? Huh? Oh. Okay.
Jim shakes his head.
Andrea tees up her blue ball, and raises the club.
Jim: Um, Andrea, wrong end.
Andrea: Huh? Oh. I thought you held it from the funny end.
Jim smacks himself in the forehead.
Andrea: Okay, here goes.
Andrea swings the club up, smacking Jim in the knee, then brings it down and hits the ball. The ball bounces off the wall at the end and flies back at them.
Sharon: Look out!
Caro hits the deck. Jim looks up in time to see...
*SMACK*
Jim: Mmph! (Golf ball in his mouth)
Andrea: Oh dear! I hope his teeth are okay.
Jim spits out the ball.
Jim: I'm okay, I THINK. (glaring)
Andrea: Sorry.
Sharon: Let's go to the next hole.
The next hole is a classic hole with a windmill that knocks the ball away.
Jim: Okay, Caroline can go first.
Caro: I need to get another ball first. (leaves)
Sharon: I'll go.
Sharon hits the ball. It hits the windmill and gets stuck on one of the blades, then rolls back right to her feet.
Andrea: Nice one, Sharon.
Sharon: Oh, hush.
Jim: I'll go.
Jim hits the ball, it zooms across the floor and goes right into the hole.
Jim: Oh, I love being me.
Andrea: Okay, I want to go again!
Jim: Wait, hold on.
Jim stands behind Sharon.
Jim: Okay, go ahead.
Andrea tees up her ball and looks at the windmill. She starts to get a little sleepy.
Andrea: Hold on a second.
Andrea walks up the windmill, studies it, then looks at the side.
Sharon: What is she doing?
Andrea flips a switch on the side, stopping the windmill, then walks back and hits her ball. It goes right in, undisturbed. Sharon rolls her eyes.
Jim: Andrea, go turn that back on?
Andrea: Huh? What happened to it?
Sharon: We need to get her to bed.
Jim: Badly.
Andrea goes and turns the windmill back on. Caro comes back with a new orange ball.
Caro: Okay, I'm ready now.
Jim: Whenever you want. (He comes out from behind Sharon)

Caro hits the ball, and it bounces off the windmill, straight back at Jim.
Jim: Not again...
The ball hits lower. Much, much lower.
Caro: Uh oh! Sorry Jim!
Sharon: How's he going to start the next generation of the band NOW?
Jim: (In Soprano) I think that's ENOUGH golf for tonight. No more. No more.
Andrea: Are you okay?
Jim: Never better! (waddles away)
They walk on to a place with strength testing games.
Jim: This one is fun. (Jim hits the platform with the hammer and rings the bell.)
Sharon: Good, Jim. Why don't you try the one for the GROWN UPS?
Jim: Uh... whoops.
Caro: I'll do it first! (picks up the mallet)
Clerk: Okay, one dollar please.
Caroline gives the dollar to the clerk, then raises the mallet and hits the platform. The bell rings loudly above.
Sharon: All right, Caroline!
Caro: All in the arms, baby!
Andrea: I want to try! (drinks her tea)
Sharon: Me first. Finish your tea, wake up.
Sharon picks up the mallet, pays the clerk, and hits the platform with a swing of one arm. The bell rings above.
Sharon: Easy!
Andrea: Okay, my turn!
Jim: This is gonna be good.
Andrea picks up the mallet, pays the clerk, and almost misses the platform altogether with the heavy mallet. The bell still rings above.
Sharon: Good going, Andrea!
Andrea: Yes, yes. (Bows)
Jim: Okay, now I'll show you how it's done.
Jim picks up the mallet, pays the man, and hits the platform with all his strength. The weight goes up about halfway, then falls back down.
Jim: WHAT?
Sharon: Is that how it's done? I guess I've been doing it wrong.
Jim: It can't be. Here, let me do it again.
He pays the man, raises the mallet high over his head, then smacks the platform with everything he's got. The weight almost makes it up there, but still falls short.
Jim: WHAT???
Sharon: Come on, let's go.
Jim: No way. This can't be.
Caro: Let's go to the go carts.
Andrea: Yeah!
The 3 walk away, Jim is still staring at the strength test.
Sharon: Come on! (grabs Jim's arm and drags him away.)
Back at the car...
Caro: That was too much fun.
Sharon: We should go on holiday in America more often.
Andrea: I didn't know you could make the car go on two wheels like that.
Jim: Well, let's get to a hotel or something, someplace NICE.
Caroline: Yeah, with robes and slippers and a pool...
Jim tries to start the car, but it doesn't do anything.
Caro: And a... what's going on?
Jim: It won't start.
Sharon: What?
Jim: It's not DOIN' anything.
Caroline: Maybe we should check under the hood.
Jim gets out, opens the hood, and looks inside.
Sharon: Is Andrea asleep already?
Caro: Yes. Very. (pushes Andrea's head off her breast.)
Jim: Turn the key now!
Sharon turns the key but nothing happens.
Jim: Nothing, huh? Hold on.
Sharon: This reminds me of something.
Caro: All we need is some open fields and a church.
Sharon: And an old bathtub to put Andrea in.
*Zap*
Jim: OUCH!
Caro: What'd you do?
Jim: Nothing, just touched the battery in the wrong place.
Sharon: Like you do with women? (grin)
A flash of light happened outside the window.
Sharon: What the heck was that?
Caro: I think it's a paparazzi.
Sharon gets out.
Sharon: Let me see that a minute, sir.
Paparazzi: Huh?
Sharon takes the camera and takes a bunch of photos of the paparazzi.
Sharon: Yes, work it for the camera, make love to it, you're a big, manly lion. Show me all of it! Yeah baby!
The camera clicks empty, and she hands it back to him.
Sharon: Here you go. (Gets in and slams the door.)
The paparazzi guy runs off crying.
Caro: Good going, sis. ANDREA! You're being like an ex-boyfriend of mine!
Caro pushes Andrea's head off her lap.
Jim: Try it now. And who was that?
Sharon: Nothing you need to worry about. (Turns the key) Nothing.
Jim: Grrr... hold on.
Caro: You know what, I could eat a horse right now. I need some food.
Sharon: Same here.
Caroline reaches down and picks up Andrea's half-eaten bag of pretzels.
*clang clang clang*
Sharon: What the blazes is he doing?
Jim smacks the engine again with a tire iron.
Jim: Work, damn you!
Sharon: What are you doing out there?
Jim: Don't worry about it. Try the car again.
(click click)
Sharon: Nothing.
Jim: Come on, you stupid German luxury car!
Sharon turns on the radio and tunes in some stations.
Radio: You're caller 28! Now, you have to tell us the names of all the Corrs. This should be an easy one.
Caller: Okay, there's Andrea...
Radio: That's one.
Caller: Sharon?
Sharon: What? Oh.
Radio: That's right, 2 more.
Caller: Caroline.
Radio: Okay, one more!
Caller: Really? It seems like I already did them.
Radio: No, still one more. Here's a hint: He's the guy.
(more clanking from outside)
Caller: Oh jeez... um... I don't know...
Radio: Come on, ten seconds!
Caller: Umm...
Sharon: Jim! It's Jim!
Caro: Jim!
Caller: Um..
Sharon: Jim!
Radio: 3... 2... 1...
Caller: Dan?
Radio: Oh!!!!! Sorry, you didn't get it, got 3 out of them so that's okay!
Jim pulls open the door.
Jim: WHAT!!!!!???!??!???!
Sharon: Huh?
Jim: Why were you CALLING ME??
Sharon: Uh, whoops. Sorry, I was talking to the radio.
Jim: Okay... sheesh... (shuts the door and leaves)
Caro: Hehehe that was hilarious.
Andrea: Hmm? Are we there yet?
Caro: No, we haven't even left yet.
Andrea: We're still in Ireland?
Sharon: No, we're still at the Scandia.
(Andrea fades off again)
Caroline: Poor girl. Don't know why she's so tired.
Sharon: Jetlagged, I guess...
*thumpthumpthumpppppp*
Sharon: Was that Jim?
Caroline: No, I think that was me.
Sharon turns to her sister, wide-eyed.
Sharon: Dear lord!!! Caroline!
Caro: I'm sorry! It was that chili dog from earlier!
Sharon: Oh heavens, I have to open the door!
Caro: I'm sorry! Oh jeez, that IS bad.
Sharon opens the door and gets out.
Sharon: Air! Fresh air!
Caroline opens her door.
Caro: Jeez, what are they putting in those chili dogs?
Jim: What's going on?
Sharon: Caro busted ass in the car, it smells so bad!
Jim: That's my sister. (smirks)
Sharon: Oh stop.
Caro: Well, since she's not in the car anymore... oh wait, I'd better move you, dear.
She puts Andrea up against the other window.
Ten seconds later, Andrea speaks.
Andrea: What is that?
Caroline: What? I don't smell anything.
Andrea: How did you know it smelled? CAROLINE!!
Andrea stumbles out the door.
Andrea: Must... breathe!
Caroline is laughing her head off in the car.
Sharon: Jeez, it's strong enough to wake Andrea up, Caroline!
Caroline: I'm sorry!
Jim: Okay, should I even dare opening my door and trying the car?
Sharon: Okay, but it's your funeral.
Jim opens the door and leans inside.
Jim: Dear god, Cazz! That's worse than I can muster!
Caro: Oh, stop it. It's not like I'm proud about it!
Jim turns the key but nothing happens.
Jim: Damn! Stupid car!
Jim goes to the hood, and slams it down. The car starts up.
Jim: Hey, I fixed it!
Sharon: Oh, great. Now I have to get back in.
Andrea: Leave the windows open. Actually, tie Caroline to the roof.
Caro: No! (laughs)
Sharon takes out her perfume and sprays some into the car, then gets in.
Sharon: You better be through!
Caro: Don't worry, I'm done for tonight.
Jim: Let's go.
They drive away, then remember they forgot something.
Sharon: Andrea!
Andrea was standing in the middle of the parking lot, eyes closed, sucking her thumb.
Sharon picks up Andrea, puts her in the back seat, and they drive away.